Need some advice before tomorrow from a few night owls... (credit card, headhunter)

[rlrl]

Hi. I am really seeking some advice before tomorrow.

last month i got a call from an old friend and college friend and roomate whom i hadn't seen since 1983-'84. We had drifted apart because he had gotten into silly pot smoking/mushrooming with another crowd although we still maintained some contact for about a year or two after that. We were still on good terms but after '83-4 we just drifted apart.

he called me because he got a referral for his business from someone with my last name. he asked the person if there was any relation to me and there wasn't. he then searched my whereabouts online and found me here in Riverdale. he apologized to me about happened back in '82 and we did have a nice conversation for about an hour or more. after i felt pretty good and it carried over well into the next week

he's a headhunter for his own tax mgt company in a moderate sized city about 400 miles from NY and his client list includes those from the who's who in business

both of us are totally different socially/ occupationally as he has had at least 5 different positions as a CPA, tax mgr and he started his own headhunter/tax mgr business 6 years ago. i on the other hand have little/no business experience and have worked for the same agency since i got my masters 18 years ago

he's been married twice and has a 17 and 18 year old son. i have never been married and have no kids (yes i'm straight!). compared to him i live the simple life with an old car, dial up computer that is 8 years old, pre paid cell service, you get the idea

when he couldn't reach me because i only have dial up and one phone line we started talking about the types of service we had. i like to keep things simple as i feel i don't need dsl or a cell phone plan because i simply have no need for those. also a few years ago i got overextended on my credit cards and completed a successful payback plan which i am finished with and i am in the process of boosting my credit which is already pretty decent. i just don't want to get involved an any contracts or anything i can't get out of right now

he sent me a link to a new communications provider that combines local and long distance service for only $24.99 per month(i would also need dsl). currently my local bill is about $40(always restarting my old computer which gets disconnected a lot) and my long distance barely $10. on the link there are of course terms and conditions such as an initial installation fee and a contract and something about free minutes/benefits being reversed if either party pulls out of the plan. it just didn't make me feel comfortable reading the fine print and i didn't like the idea of the relationship between the referred party's relationship to the referrer's in the fine print

however i do realize it's quite possible that this might work in the long run but in any case i just don't like contracts at all

he also told me he was expecting a business deal to come through (although he also told me he couldn't guarantee it) for him which would include his getting a whole new office setup, in which he would give me his laptop(because i told him that i was looking to get a laptop or notebook) computer, but the catch is that i would need cable service to run the computer (which i don't have yet but will need to get by early next year)

about an hour ago he told me he would call me because all his calls are free from his new phone provider(so i would not have to spend anything calling him) and he encouraged me to "not give those big bell companies any more money"

now, i understand that i have not been a very social or business type of person since i live alone and have worked for the same place for 18 years, and i do also realize that this is a part of interpersonal relationships(to try to get a friend to sign up for a service, etc), but my main purpose in posting this is to ask, do you all think this guy is just trying to drum up business for these communications providers by giving me a laptop and then trying to get me to get cable service or go with the new provider i mentioned? i really don't know how this works when it comes to his business.

at this point in time i'm just not ready to change my phone and internet providers. i already told him this in an e mail. he didn't say anything but he did mention that part about the not giving any more money to the big bell companies just now so that got me wondering

although i do like this person, i do enjoy talking to him again(he does seem to respect me and does not look down on me because i have less than he does; in fact that has been a problem with other friendships from my past) and our conversations do sometimes approach the 90-120 minute mark, i just don't know how to tell him i'm just not ready for changing providers and not to send any laptops over this way(i have a huge issue with dependency/interdependency stuff and "what will i owe this person if they do me this favor" kind of thinking)

so, what do you make of this?

maybe it's a good deal, who knows

i just don't know how to look at this

please will any ny night owls respond asap as i am supposed to speak with him tomorrow and could use some insight

thanks in advance

rl

thanks

[East Coast Wanderer]

I would talk to him on a friendly basis but would refuse the laptop, etc. It sounds as if he's using a friendship to futher his business.

[page3000]

Say no

[rlrl]

i was surprised that no one responded back in May. However i do appreciate your responses. he was supposed to visit NY in June and he was supposed to call. he told me the free laptop business fell through. I didn't hear from him in June but just prior to it I got another e mail from him about that provider

[page3000]

No one replied because this is more of a city forum...not a personal forum. Plus you wrote a lot and I know that I personally didn't read like 80% of it. No offense.

[mir_ny]

just say no thanks. if you aren't comfortable about something just don't do it. you should just follow your instincts. I wish I was able to live so simply. But I always jump at all the new stuff cuz it's fast or better and really you get lazy and stupid and spend money on things you don't need. Just buy your own laptop. if you need to switch services do the research and then decide.

[Moderate Guy]

Hey rirl,

Say to your friend, "Listen, I like you a lot and appreciate your offer but I'm comfortable with my present phone/cable/internet service. I'm the kind of fella that believes if someting works, don't fix it. I like staying the course. Been at my job for 18 years, stayed single, like where I live and how I dress and the utilities I use. However, if any of my friends or co-workers are interested in a new service, can I give them your card? And good luck in your business ventures."

"And, hey, if you ever need to get rid of an excess laptop to an old buddy like me whom you speak with on the phone for hours and whom you constantly e-mail, I'll be here."

[rlrl]

"And, hey, if you ever need to get rid of an excess laptop to an old buddy like me whom you speak with on the phone for hours and whom you constantly e-mail, I'll be here."

** A Good one!!**