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Okay ladies and gentlemen... this thread is all about the NYC dating scene. In your experience, is it good or bad? What do you like/dislike about it???
Pretty low, my friend, pretty low. Unless by dating you mean hookups, one-night-stands, etc. It's not impossible. Until I reached my middle years, I was one of the lucky ones. Many New Yorkers don't seem to be too interested in long-term commitments, or even dating for any length of time. Dating if taken lightly can be fun. With the wrong person, imo, it can also be scary and exploitative. I call it consumer dating. Easy for a person who is fine with this mentality. Not easy for someone who thinks that even dating should be meaningful as well as fun, with each person being treated as a person not as an interchangeable object. I'd give it a 5. Meaning it's a 50:50 gamble.
Location: suburbs of NYC en route to southern Illinois
186 posts, read 219,119 times
Reputation: 69
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nala8
Pretty low, my friend, pretty low. Unless by dating you mean hookups, one-night-stands, etc. It's not impossible. Until I reached my middle years, I was one of the lucky ones. Many New Yorkers don't seem to be too interested in long-term commitments, or even dating for any length of time. Dating if taken lightly can be fun. With the wrong person, imo, it can also be scary and exploitative. I call it consumer dating. Easy for a person who is fine with this mentality. Not easy for someone who thinks that even dating should be meaningful as well as fun, with each person being treated as a person not as an interchangeable object. I'd give it a 5. Meaning it's a 50:50 gamble.
If I could give you like, 4 MILLION reputation points, I would.
You are *spot on* about consumer dating. My self esteem holds easily to all the other hot chicks around (I'm smokin' on a good day )- but it's the prevalent egotism, spoiledness, elusivity and even sometimes, vague misogyny/ambivalence towards women of the men in this city that I found most deeply disheartening and demoralizing.
On a more tragic note, as a native New Yorker who's never traveled much, at 33 I only came upon this realization after I started specifically researching it. I had simply always assumed that all men are pigs and most women flaky (no offense, I am truly just being honest). People usually laugh at me if the word monogamy or marriage comes out of my mouth, in any context. After I spent about a year of my life (probably the most romantically fruitful one ever) on researching the topic it turns out, IT'S JUST NEW YORK CITY. And I am leaving.
I have links and anecdotes, if you're interested.
Last edited by susangggg; 06-22-2010 at 10:57 AM..
Location: suburbs of NYC en route to southern Illinois
186 posts, read 219,119 times
Reputation: 69
Quote:
Originally Posted by MotormanMike
If you're a loser ... a 1.
If you're a winner ... a 10.
I'd like to edit your post to make it more accurate, like this:
If you're a man:
If you're a loser ... a 10.
If you're a winner ... a 10.
If you're a woman:
If you're a loser ... a -1000.
If you're a winner ... a -1000.
You're welcome.
Ever notice how if you look for opinions about dating in NYC of men as opposed to women - the women are consistently much less content in them? It's the high female to male ratio and the fashion industry....just my 2cents.
Last edited by susangggg; 06-22-2010 at 11:00 AM..
If you are young and just to want to have fun, NYC offers variety of people to have fun with.
If you are not young (not necessarily mean old) and want to have something more than just casual dates, you will have a hard time, finding a desirable partner (This may be true anywhere, not just NYC).
If you are older than 35 and still single and want to live in NYC, you will only meet people who are either not capable of having a relationship or want to remain single forever.
Just my 2 cents.
Atsushi
06-22-2010, 11:40 AM
grant516
n/a posts
I find New Yorkers rediculously geo-centric when it comes to relationships. Rarely would friends in Manhattan date someone in Queens, or anyone on earth date anyone from Staten Island.
10-15 miles isn't a long distance relationship in my book.
If I could give you like, 4 MILLION reputation points, I would.
You are *spot on* about consumer dating. My self esteem holds easily to all the other hot chicks around (I'm smokin' on a good day )- but it's the prevalent egotism, spoiledness, elusivity and even sometimes, vague misogyny/ambivalence towards women of the men in this city that I found most deeply disheartening and demoralizing.
On a more tragic note, as a native New Yorker who's never traveled much, at 33 I only came upon this realization after I started specifically researching it. I had simply always assumed that all men are pigs and most women flaky (no offense, I am truly just being honest). People usually laugh at me if the word monogamy or marriage comes out of my mouth, in any context. After I spent about a year of my life (probably the most romantically fruitful one ever) on researching the topic it turns out, IT'S JUST NEW YORK CITY. And I am leaving.
I have links and anecdotes, if you're interested.
Hey thanks. But sorry you are leaving. We could have done lunch or something. I tried moving back to my alma mater, Madison WI, and after about a year found the people here to be just as problematic on the dating and on the friendship scene: thoughtless, careless, greedy, consumerist, flaky, and very into hookups. Not my scene. Not into games, and people are not playthings, boys and girls. lol. I'm heading back to NYC, which will be a great career move for me, both in terms of my paid work and my artistic work. I have great friends and a sense of community--lotsa love in my life--but I am starting to wonder if my romantic love life is just about over for me at 48. Tryin' to keep hope alive, as they say, but darned if so many New Yorkers do tend to worship youth.
I would love some links. I find that having knowledge, even stats, puts it all into perspective and takes much if not all of the personalization out of it. You must know that you are a wonderful person, even if you are not a hot property (yuck) in the dating marketplace. If it is meant to be, the right person will recognize you as the special or unique person that you are--a woman who is not for sale. Just my take on it.
I find New Yorkers rediculously geo-centric when it comes to relationships. Rarely would friends in Manhattan date someone in Queens, or anyone on earth date anyone from Staten Island.
10-15 miles isn't a long distance relationship in my book.
Not in most cities but it is in New York if take the train.
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)- but it's the prevalent egotism, spoiledness, elusivity and even sometimes, vague misogyny/ambivalence towards women of the men in this city that I found most deeply disheartening and demoralizing.
