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A gay roomate? Probably not. Would the apartment be painted pink? Would I have to listen to Barry Manilow, The Village People and Celine Dion records all day? And I just dont think I'd want to hear those IMO disgusting sounds coming from his room when he is banging his boytoy. Ugh! No thanks! Now I could have me some lesbian roomies! Hell yea!
This consistent double standard is amazing. Just goes to prove our macho driven, patriarchal society is what drives these feelings.
And your ridiculous stereotype of Barry Manilow and the Village People? Please. Get it right already.
The motto is, "Judy, Barbra, Liza, Bette, these are names I shant forget".
"PHOBIA" from the Latin "fear." I do not fear gay guys. I just dont like what they do. Amazing how anyone who disagrees with you is a homophobe. Since you are apparently afraid of women maybe youre phobic? Try it sometime. The vagina is a wonderful thing!
Not all words mean their literal break down. Homophobia encompasses more than just "fear". Take that quiz I posted, and see what your score is. And FYI, Phobia comes from the Greek "Phobos", not Latin.
Who said I'm afraid of women? I find lots of women beautiful.
Possibly, but ask yourself this, do straight men go after women who neither want or are attracted to them? All the time right? If so, why would a guy who simply prefers males be any different? I would expect a gay guy who's attracted to me to be as aggressive as a straight guy would be towards a woman.
Yes! lol Guys go after women they have no chance with all the time.
I don't know about it being about someone's mental health, but again-- I think men go after women they haven't got a shot with all the time. THey may not be as persistent in every case, but they certainly take a shot in a lot of instances. And many if not most men size up and feel out the opportunity before they decide to go after it.
Sure, guys routinely go after women who are out of their league, but do they go after lesbians when they know they have zero chance, ever? If they do then I'd say those guys are pretty darn dumb. And all of this is still just based on the assumption a gay roommate would find his straight roommate attractive in the first place. He certainly may, but just because a guy is gay doesn't mean he's attracted to every other guy he sees. And even if he was attracted to his straight roomy, it doesn't mean he'd ever act on it. If he had any sense, and it was obvious the other guy was straight, he'd be wasting his time pursuing it. It would be just as dumb and pointless as if I had pursued a relationship with that lesbian. Which is why I immediately let it go.
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Originally Posted by itshim
Because I don't think it's a simple as it being a lack of "attraction" but moreso the reason behind it. You may have zero attraction to a certain type of woman for a very specific reason whereas you have zero attraction for men simply because they are men. There is something that could be different about the woman to make her more attractive to you whereas there is nothing that a man could do to make you attracted to him. I don't see it as the same thing.
I guess we simply see this differently. I'm not talking about seeing a woman I'd be attracted to if only she lost a little weight, or if only she would change her hair and makeup. I'm talking about the many women I see who are simply unattractive to me in every way imaginable. And maybe I'm underestimating the horniness of other men, but I see plenty of women all the time who are so unattractive in so many ways that I would never, ever even consider having sex with them. No makeover would be enough, and I feel a little bad for saying that, but it's simply the truth. The chances of me having sex with one of those women is just as high as the chances of me having sex with a man: zero. If those were the only options available, I'd just have to forego sex entirely. I've never been so horny that I'd have sex with any woman at all, just to get some. But maybe other guys would. More power to them.
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Originally Posted by itshim
And here's a quick question--would you be ok with having a best male friend who was gay?
Sure, why not? Like I said before, I have a good friend who is gay, but since I moved across the country obviously I never see him now. And when I lived in TN, he worked a lot so I didn't get to hang out with him as often as some of my other friends, but when he was around we got along great. In fact, he's one of the few friends I miss a lot since moving here, because, unlike almost everyone else I knew, I could talk to him about being atheist, or liberal, or literally anything and not have to worry that he wouldn't talk to me after that. He simply wasn't as judgmental as most people I knew, which was a nice change of pace.
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Originally Posted by itshim
As for roomates, not only would I be worried about him being attrtacted to me, but I also wouldn't be fond of him bringing over "lovers" and my witnessing them holding hands, kissing, in the bed together etc. It's not something that I would be voluntarily willing to expose myself to.
I'd rather not hear two people having sex no matter what their sexual orientation. I can certainly understand that aspect of it and that seems to be the main problem a lot of people would have with a gay roommate. Seeing them holding hands doesn't bother me at all. And the kissing wouldn't necessarily bother me either, although I don't care to be around any couple that is heavily making out, straight or gay.
Some of you clearly have no idea what homophobia is. You're like my grandmother who thought that just because she wasn't personally out hanging black people from magnolia trees, that she couldn't possibly be a racist.
A human being is a human being... no matter what their sexual preferences are. If you need a room mate and you are compatible and agree on living arrangements, why not have a roommate that is gay or lesbian. I suppose I would not need a posting and comments to decide what to do.. it is a non-issue with me and if the OP questions that... it might not be a good fit for them. or maybe just curious on how others see it?.. don't worry about reactions from others.. one thing about getting older, you really don't care about what others think ... makes decissions much easier LOL
You assume too much. I actually just made this thread out of curiosity. You see, I'm the gay guy in regard to this question, and I was just seeing what the other reactions out there were compared to mine. It was about what I thought it would be. Many seem okay with it, some are benignly uncomfortable, and a few have demonstrated their complete lack of exposure. Nothing to get bunched-up about.
So, anyone that does not find gay sexuality to be appealing, is a "homophobe", huh? Right. Grip yourself.
That's not it. It's fine if you don't find it appealing, that's why you're straight, but to open your mouth and say so is rude and yes, makes you come off as a homophobe. Keep the rude comments in your head.
1. Sexual attraction isn't as logical as you are making it sound. Sure, most people do set boundaries, but not everyone's boundaries are the same. And dare I say men and women generally have different boundaries.
2, Not being pro gay does not make me a homophobe. I'm not advocating for a witch hunt-- it's just that I am personally not comfortable watching them display intimacy.
So you would be okay with a straight couple walking down the street hand in hand, but not a gay couple?
You and I just see things differently. I don't see sexual orientation as having anything to do with being compatible with someone as a friend or as a roommate. You seem to see sexual orientation as some huge thing that makes people so different from each other - I don't. My gay friends and I talk about love and life in the same way that my straight friends and I do. But again - that's just me. We just see things differently.
Exactly. Why would anyone expect that EVERYONE would see things the same way?
Yes, I do feel that sexual orientation is important enough that it impacts the "compatibility factor" for me, as far as having a roommate. And that's my privilege - my choice, as you have yours. Different strokes, as they say.
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Grip yourself.
