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I would talk to your wife and let her know that her mother's comments are making you uncomfortable. At the same time, the next time your mother in law makes one of those comments, tell her that you don't appreciate it and to stop. Simple. Non-combative. Direct. Calm.
However, I think you need to watch how you say things because the very first line of your OP came across as very combative - people don't usually need "ammo" to have a discussion. In fact, a discussion with the arsenal left out of it usually gets better results than one where one of the parties starts off ready to shoot it out.
I would talk to your wife and let her know that her mother's comments are making you uncomfortable. At the same time, the next time your mother in law makes one of those comments, tell her that you don't appreciate it and to stop. Simple. Non-combative. Direct. Calm.
However, I think you need to watch how you say things because the very first line of your OP came across as very combative - people don't usually need "ammo" to have a discussion. In fact, a discussion with the arsenal left out of it usually gets better results than one where one of the parties starts off ready to shoot it out.
Annie, I'm not sure I totally agree with this. I would throw the entire matter into the wife's lap and let her handle matters. Only if she does nothing and the behavior continues would I say something along the lines of "Nadine, no matter how hard you try, you're not getting a piece of my man sausage. That's reserved for your daughter." And do it front of everyone. That way you extend the circle of love.
DON'T EVEN THING ABOUT TALKING TO YOUR MIL ABOUT THIS. Have you lost your mind? Confronting her about this puts you in a no-win situation. Regardless of her behavior, you'll either come off as the humorless, hypersensitive prig or the person who imagines every woman is hitting on him, even his sweet mother-in-law. And you'll have to live this reputation down at every family get-together from now until the end of time. You will indeed look like a fool, whether your feelings are valid or not.
There's a school of thought that you should confront her and get it out in the open. This is a terrible idea. The problem is that this isn't a workplace and you'll be dealing with this woman as long as you've married into the family. What's more, no matter how long you're married, you'll always be a bit of an outsider and will be held to a different standard of behavior than your wife or her siblings.
Instead, rather than making a summit meeting about matters, make a joke of it instead with your wife and move on. Say, "I think your mom has the hots for me. That would explain why she keeps grabbing me." Trust me. Your wife will start to notice and then SHE can handle it. And she can say anything she wants.
You're right and this is what I was afraid of. She's the type of person that would save face and deny and probably turn it in on me to save her hide. My MIL is not one to be trusted.
No one in the family thinks she is sweet, she is known to be an adulterous flirt that has a severely strained relationship with her husband. We're talking mid life crisis wannabe cougar type, emphasis on the word wannabe.
Annie, I'm not sure I totally agree with this. I would throw the entire matter into the wife's lap and let her handle matters. Only if she does nothing and the behavior continues would I say something along the lines of "Nadine, no matter how hard you try, you're not getting a piece of my man sausage. That's reserved for your daughter." And do it front of everyone. That way you extend the circle of love.
Wonderful advice Jude can live without.
How do you come up with these names? Most moms go by Martha, Janice, Mary, Gwendoline and Rosanna.
So pretty much if I do not avoid her or make it clear that I feel uncomfortable, she will continue to act this way?
What I don't get is that when there is family around she seems to be fine, but when it's just me or just her, my wife and I, it's a bit of a different story. Does that say something?
Last edited by Jude999; 03-20-2012 at 10:21 AM..
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