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Need advice. I need to know if I have enough ammo to talk to my wife about some of the stuff that my MIL has been saying. I also want to talk to my MIL and let her know how uneasy I feel about what I perceive to be her flirting.
But I need to know if this is appropriate for a mother in law to be saying to her son in law:
"I was going to take a pic of you shirtless while working in the yard to send to your wife"
"take off your shirt tomorrow, don't be shy. I wanna see that shirt off"
to daughter: "if you mess things up with him, I'm keeping him"
to me: "tell my daughter I'll trade her men", says this while slightly touching down the lower end of my back.
She also has been making it a point to tell me how the relationship with her husband is dead, and that he is not "getting any" from her.
I mean is this all normal stuff that a mother in law tells her son in law? Is this just her being friendly? She said some of this stuff when she was drunk, so could I chalk it up to the alcohol?
Point is do I have enough to go to her to tell her that it's inappropriate or will I look like a fool?
Just tell her to stop.
What's wrong with people!?!?!
Sexual harassment shouldn't be tolerated anywhere or by anyone.
Well let's just say the woman is a drunkard and it's no secret within the family that she has had affairs. That's the part that makes me question whether it's more than friendly talk.
That's what I meant about trying to figure out if this is just harmless fun or if she is crossing the line. Is this normal behavior?
Dude, what is there to figure out? She's obviously hitting on you. And this is NOT harmless fun for her. She'd probably allow you to shag her.
But the point is, it has to be harmless for you. Build a wall and don't put yourself in a situation where you have to be with her.
Like this:
Wife says, "Babe, can you get the cake machine from Mom's on the way from work, I'm making cupcakes tonight?"
And you knock on MIL's door. No response. The door is slightly open. You tread in. And MIL walks out of the shower in a towel. She sees you and the towel slips down. And then, blah blah blah.... she may have been expecting the FEDEX guy, but Christmas came early, you walked in.
Jude999....Yes..she has "crossed the line", and is disrespecting her daughter as well as you. Unfortunaely that might just be the way she is (some people can't help but flirt)...and as long as your wife knows how you feel...(she probably already knows her moms a flirt)...probably the best thing you can do for your own sanity is just to steer clear of her as much as possible.
This is unacceptable behavior by your MIL. I would tell your wife that it makes you uncomfortable, just so someone has your back on this. I probably wouldn't confront the MIL, just make fun of her behind her back with your wife. This is probably not the only thing that she does to embarrass herself when alcohol is involved. It could be a sign of a deeper problem of alcoholism.
Your chilly responses to her will probably cause her to get the hint eventually.
Need advice. I need to know if I have enough ammo to talk to my wife about some of the stuff that my MIL has been saying. I also want to talk to my MIL and let her know how uneasy I feel about what I perceive to be her flirting.
But I need to know if this is appropriate for a mother in law to be saying to her son in law:
"I was going to take a pic of you shirtless while working in the yard to send to your wife"
"take off your shirt tomorrow, don't be shy. I wanna see that shirt off"
to daughter: "if you mess things up with him, I'm keeping him"
to me: "tell my daughter I'll trade her men", says this while slightly touching down the lower end of my back.
She also has been making it a point to tell me how the relationship with her husband is dead, and that he is not "getting any" from her.
I mean is this all normal stuff that a mother in law tells her son in law? Is this just her being friendly? She said some of this stuff when she was drunk, so could I chalk it up to the alcohol?
Point is do I have enough to go to her to tell her that it's inappropriate or will I look like a fool?
DON'T EVEN THING ABOUT TALKING TO YOUR MIL ABOUT THIS. Have you lost your mind? Confronting her about this puts you in a no-win situation. Regardless of her behavior, you'll either come off as the humorless, hypersensitive prig or the person who imagines every woman is hitting on him, even his sweet mother-in-law. And you'll have to live this reputation down at every family get-together from now until the end of time. You will indeed look like a fool, whether your feelings are valid or not.
There's a school of thought that you should confront her and get it out in the open. This is a terrible idea. The problem is that this isn't a workplace and you'll be dealing with this woman as long as you've married into the family. What's more, no matter how long you're married, you'll always be a bit of an outsider and will be held to a different standard of behavior than your wife or her siblings.
Instead, rather than making a summit meeting about matters, make a joke of it instead with your wife and move on. Say, "I think your mom has the hots for me. That would explain why she keeps grabbing me." Trust me. Your wife will start to notice and then SHE can handle it. And she can say anything she wants.
Do what Mitch did on that episode of Modern Family.
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