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Jude - At the end of the day, you haven't done anything wrong. So, if you really want her to stop making you feel uncomfortable, it's simple. You don't have to change anything your doing. If she wants to talk (in person or on the phone), you listen for as long as you'd like. If she sends you text messages, perfect. Type until your fingers are content. If she ever touches you inappropriately, it's okay. It's not like she's going to rape you. If she starts throwing your FIL under the bus, let her vent. Also, when she says she's hurt, give her a shoulder to cry on. But... and this is all you have to do... SHOW AND TELL YOUR WIFE EVERYTHING - AND WITH DETAILS! If you don't do this, you only have yourself to blame for the consequences, bro. "Hey babe, your mom says I have a nice behind". "Honey, your mom sent me 5 text messages today". "Hey love, your mother is so funny, she said your dad is a jack hole". "Hi my love, I just got off the phone with your mom, again. We talked for 2 hours".
I think I'm starting to believe that the OP is just making this up. No one could be that clueless. OP, your mil in needy, clingy, and inappropriate. EVERYTHING you two are doing is wrong: she's crossed the line by flirting with you and YOU crossed the line by allowing her to unload emotionally on you. YOU should NOT be the one to console her, support her, etc. You will get burned. If you cannot see that, you have rocks in your head. Why do you keep asking these ridiculous questions? "Is this a problem?" "How do you deal with these types of women?" We keep screaming at you ... YES, it's all a problem. Deal with it by NOT being alone with her or having those "talks." Keep away from her as much as possible. Clear??
I think I'm starting to believe that the OP is just making this up. No one could be that clueless. OP, your mil in needy, clingy, and inappropriate. EVERYTHING you two are doing is wrong: she's crossed the line by flirting with you and YOU crossed the line by allowing her to unload emotionally on you. YOU should NOT be the one to console her, support her, etc. You will get burned. If you cannot see that, you have rocks in your head. Why do you keep asking these ridiculous questions? "Is this a problem?" "How do you deal with these types of women?" We keep screaming at you ... YES, it's all a problem. Deal with it by NOT being alone with her or having those "talks." Keep away from her as much as possible. Clear??
I am beginning to feel the same way. The OP may be clueless, or he may be too young to understand that some women ARE like this.
Either way, he doesn't sound as if he believes he has a problem. OK, so be it.
Perhaps he is pleased to know that someone is interested in him......
I'm not clueless, I am just trying to figure out what's the right thing to do and the wrong thing to do in this situation. Also, all the hints are way too subtle and off balance. Sometimes it's a straight inappropriate line, the next it's just a need for some consoling. It's never a straight out, hey I want you. So I never know to be a cold jack ass and ignore her, or to be a nice son in law.
It took me years to break into this family and gain respect, so being a go to guy for someone's problems is a bit flattering compared to the bad treatment I received years ago. But the thin line I am walking on seems like a game of chess.
I never thought I'd write a letter like this. But Nadine, my mother-in-law, is one smoking' hot babe. I mean, I can see where Daphne gets her good looks, because whenever her Mama struts into the room my jalopy ain't floppy any more -- if you get my drift.
I'm not clueless, I am just trying to figure out what's the right thing to do and the wrong thing to do in this situation. Also, all the hints are way too subtle and off balance. Sometimes it's a straight inappropriate line, the next it's just a need for some consoling. It's never a straight out, hey I want you. So I never know to be a cold jack ass and ignore her, or to be a nice son in law.
It took me years to break into this family and gain respect, so being a go to guy for someone's problems is a bit flattering compared to the bad treatment I received years ago. But the thin line I am walking on seems like a game of chess.
First of all, you are NOT the person who should be "consoling" your mother in law about her crummy marriage to your father in law! Period. What is so tricky about this?? You should NOT be spending 2 hours on the phone with her about her marital problems. Period. An extraction is in order. Stay out of her marriage (or any other personal) problems.
And for the record, her hints are NOT too subtle. You've completely picked up on them. And given her history (as warned by her own daughters), you KNOW what she's after -- attention at least, sex at worst. So wise up and cool it with the mil. Jeez.
I never thought I'd write a letter like this. But Nadine, my mother-in-law, is one smoking' hot babe. I mean, I can see where Daphne gets her good looks, because whenever her Mama struts into the room my jalopy ain't floppy any more -- if you get my drift.
First of all, you are NOT the person who should be "consoling" your mother in law about her crummy marriage to your father in law! Period. What is so tricky about this?? You should NOT be spending 2 hours on the phone with her about her marital problems. Period. An extraction is in order. Stay out of her marriage (or any other personal) problems.
And for the record, her hints are NOT too subtle. You've completely picked up on them. And given her history (as warned by her own daughters), you KNOW what she's after -- attention at least, sex at worst. So wise up and cool it with the mil. Jeez.
The warning was three years ago. I picked up on them only because they were out of the ordinary.
Well I would really like to know if this whole situation smells like lonely housewife trying to get with her son in law, because if not I really do not want to be rude or dismissive of a person in need. I don't want t to look like I do not care about family. And I do not mean about what she has said before, but this new level of texting me, calling me and wanting to talk a lot.
Good God. Do we have to spell it out to you? Tell your wife while ignoring it yourself. She will handle matters. By the way, ignoring her includes:
1) Ignoring her texts, unless she has a flat tire and needs helping fixing it.
2) NOT having two-hour conversations. I mean, Geez Louise, how did you manage to get sucked into that tar baby of a conversation? How hard could it have been to say, "Nadine, I have to go," and then hang up?
3) If she starts to flirt with you, simply walk away.
There you go. Problem solved. Can we move onto a new post now, rather than examining every single possible facet of this one?
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