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That sounds good in theory, but when you are in a family where there are so many divorces and remarriages and children overlapping - six mom's and more can be a bit overwhelming, toss a few grandmas in there, children with children what not and stir carefully.
Mother's day is such a sham holiday. "Let's celebrate irresponsible birth control with flowers and presents!" I am going to drop by and visit my mom for 15 minutes probably because she'll give me a nagging that will make Marie from Everybody Loves Raymond sound pleasant if I don't
If you feel your son is thoughtless perhaps teaching him/instructing him how you'd like to be treated would be better than stewing over the way you feel slighted? I mean, what good did yelling and losing it with him really do?
Start fresh with him and have a quiet intimate conversation, just the two of you, where you explain to him what your feelings and expectations are. I mean, he sounds kind of clueless to me. Laying it all out with workable solutions could maybe ensure things would be different for all your special days going forward.
Her post sounds like my MIL who even her kids don't like to be around. She would rant, lay guilt trips on the kids and just make the kids miserable. She died a lonely cold narcissistic woman who never understood why her kids and the family never wanted to be around her.
My husband used to go to his moms and I used to go to my moms. Last year we decided to take them both out to lunch together. This year, they both came up to our house yesterday and we all went out to lunch and spent the entire day together. It's a little bit easier for mothers day and fathers day to do this kind of thing, but I dread the other holidays like Easter and Christmas.
It puzzles me how so many parents think that their children "owe" them something, especially on proscribed 'holidays'.
Two of my children live in Vegas, one lives in GA, and we live in NE. They don't come here for holidays because they are usually working and don't get enough time off. A quick phone call is nice; but like this AM, I'll be working outside all day planting things, and I'll probably miss any daytime call.
When we all lived together (in SC) the kids used to invite over all of their friends, and we 'took in strays' - anyone who didn't have a place to go on the holidays came over to our house, and we had all-day foodfests and parties. My children have, in their own spaces and with their own friends, continued that tradition.
I am happy that all of my children are working, independent, and happy. I don't need them to "prove their love" to me by showing up on a specified day. When they come here or I go see them, we have good times and enjoy each others' company. Otherwise, there's no 'demands' on them. You can't command "love", especially on proscribed days. They either love you or they don't; and guilting them just makes it worse.
Try spending one year with your mom and the next with hers.
My relatives do holidays something like this. Every other year the ones where families don't always get together with both sides his family gets the proper day, hers the day before. Next year they switch. So Christmas was held the day before half the time, or even the day after but it was soooo much easier then trying to mix driving and schedules when its supposed to be about good thoughts.
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