One of my closest friends came out to me, I shouldn't care but I do...

[Jukesgrrl]

Originally Posted by DavieJ89

Lets get something straight here (no pun intended)

The guy who I punched started talking to me casually, nothing sexual at first. We were talking about Wheat Thins and which flavors we liked. Now one thing about me is I'm a very social person and if somebody happens to initiate a conversation with me, I will go right along with it and converse back, that was how it started

Very quickly it turned sexual when this guy asked me if I was "interested in a new flavor" When I realized what he meant, I immediately said "no thanks" and he kept pushing the subject until he backed me against the store shelves and when he reached down there, I punched him

As I had said before, I explained this situation to my friend and he understood why I was uncomfortable at first with him coming out, but his personality is no different from when I knew him in his Pre-Marine Corps days and Im not going to let his sexuality affect my friendship as I had already said he is not attracted to me physically, knows I'm straight and accepts it. He even agreed to be my wingman at local bars and clubs

Id like to ask any moderators now to close this thread as my original issue has been dealt with, and I feel this thread has run its course.

Thanks all for your opinions

You opened up a can of worms and now you're stepping away from it?

Honestly, you've demonstrated some really serious issues in dealing with not only other people's sexuality, but yours, too. Your added information about punching out the guy in the supermarket, rather than "explaining away" the issue makes it sound worse to me. This violent reaction of yours took place in a matter of seconds? You were in a VERY public place and you were so unable to extricate yourself from a pass that you had to resort to a response that got you arrested? That illustrates poor impulse control. Even if there are plenty of men (including a judge, apparently) who will say you were justified.

And this idea of having a "wingman" is also not healthy. The whole concept of using another human to help you lure a woman is pretty skeevy. I know that practice is not uncommon in our society and is constantly joked about, but that doesn't make it right. It indicates to me that you treat women as prey you want to capture. You can't just go to a bar to meet someone in a natural way and find someone you have a mutual attraction with? You have to have a lure? Your object can't be meeting someone you might actually like and enjoy — it has to be a sexual conquest? Again, I know that's not uncommon behavior, but that doesn't make it healthy.

I can just hear your protests — throughout this tread you've done the "this is what happened ... no, no, that's not what I meant" thing. But please, step back, take some time and THINK about yourself, your reactions to things, and what they mean. Please don't just act as if you accept your friend's sexuality because many people here told you to. He's been honest with you and treated you as a valued friend. Think in general about why other people being gay freaks you out so much. Think in general about why a man making a pass at a man is grounds for violence, but a man making a pass at a woman — with another man along as back up — is considered by you as normal, acceptable behavior. Think about wingmen as what they really are, an indication you don't think you're attractive enough on your own and that you need assistance to get a date. And think about how the use of a wingman means you view meeting woman at a bar as a conquest that needs a strategy to be successful.

Really, you're better than that. If you weren't, you wouldn't have taken the time to post your original letter.

[7G9C4J2]

Conversation has run its course. Closed.