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Old 12-10-2014, 07:46 AM
 
Location: Kentucky Bluegrass
28,970 posts, read 30,332,663 times
Reputation: 19250

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Quote:
Originally Posted by mco65 View Post
You could easily test your theory... shave your head and if your friends 'COPY' you.. there ya go, otherwise, I think your just being silly.
why would it be so important, for someone to come into a thread, and be contrary to another person's feelings, so much so, they feel compelled to say so, and then be mean enough to mock them?
unless they are offended by the fact that you are a copier or you've never been copied like this or experienced this.

One of the gals that copied me, was so insecure....she told me once, she envied me, so much so, that she wished she could be me.

She became very close with some neighbors who were gay, and even told me, "if I were ever to choose to be gay, I'd want to be gay with you". Then I had a black lab, and actually thought up this dogs name...b/c I wanted her name to work with another dog that we had. Just two years ago, she calls me and tells me, "I always loved your dogs name so I got a black lab puppy and named it the same".

so my feelings are being silly? I think not. On many occassions I wanted to break off that friendship b/c of what she did to me, many times, she even tried to make it with my husband....in front of our kids who were very little at the time. Yanno how I found out? My son asked me if so and so loved daddy like we do? I was furious, and stopped the friendship for a while, but then forgave her when my husband and I seperated. You think I'm being silly? You have no clue.

This is creepy, and uncalled for....so I ended the relationship....should have ended it a long long time ago, but kept thinking the years between us had to mean something, if it did, it was surely creepy to her.

They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but feeling like a victim of identity theft can be beyond annoying. Here’s how to handle that one girlfriend, co-worker, or friend of a friend who can’t seem to stop mirroring your every move.

As I said before, these are a few examples, sometimes stuff bothers me, sometimes it doesn't, just sharing a weird experience, for those who have had this problem to come in and vent it if need be. And to let others know, they are not alone.
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Old 02-05-2015, 02:21 PM
 
3 posts, read 2,956 times
Reputation: 28
We moved to a new city three years ago and I befriended a gal whose husband works with mine, she is 56 and she copied my exact hair, my make up , my clothes, my perfume ,my jewellery, my purses,, my items in my home now wants a vacation home the exact same design and color/paint furniture as mine...I am loosing my mind and how do I ask her to please stop ! I really don't mind coping a few things ( I personally wouldn't with a friend because it's their own style ) but this is getting so annoying! She is a nice person, however, I feel that I am loosing my individuality...we are now looking like bobsy twins...people have actually called us twins when we are out !!!! I need help !!!
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Old 02-06-2015, 01:06 AM
 
Location: Endless Concert
1,764 posts, read 1,675,683 times
Reputation: 3528
I really do think people that copy others and really "look"to see what they can copy are people that really don't know who they are, lack a sense of identity.
It's one thing if someone is inspired by something someone is wearing "Oh, I loved your blue sparkly sweater you wore on New Years it inspired me to get something similar" and it's just once in awhile.
It's another thing if someone lack a sense of their own style and it doesn't come from within. This kind of person usually lacks a personality and morals, too.
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Old 02-06-2015, 06:25 AM
 
Location: Kentucky Bluegrass
28,970 posts, read 30,332,663 times
Reputation: 19250
Quote:
Originally Posted by loretta55 View Post
We moved to a new city three years ago and I befriended a gal whose husband works with mine, she is 56 and she copied my exact hair, my make up , my clothes, my perfume ,my jewellery, my purses,, my items in my home now wants a vacation home the exact same design and color/paint furniture as mine...I am loosing my mind and how do I ask her to please stop ! I really don't mind coping a few things ( I personally wouldn't with a friend because it's their own style ) but this is getting so annoying! She is a nice person, however, I feel that I am loosing my individuality...we are now looking like bobsy twins...people have actually called us twins when we are out !!!! I need help !!!
I cannot advise you on what to do...but here is what I did

Women like these are toxic, and if you suggest they are stealing your identity, they get angry and keep doing it....if you can handle it fine, but if not, I would just not hang out with her any longer.


The one woman, this last one who did this to me, and I've had several in my lifetime, she is the kind of woman who tried getting so close, and I am a privet person....the more I pushed her away, the harder she tried, the more I asked her to not call me, the more she called....she even called me at work 3 times, one right after another about nothing, and then yelled at me for getting short with her. But the one thing that really ended it, was she was nosy, and said things to people that were totally inappropriate. Several times when she'd talk about someone else in our network of friends, I'd say, "that is none of our business!" She didn't get it????? She stopped seeing this one woman, as we all got really upset with how this woman was, and she talked horribly about her, and now since I cut her out of my life, she ran back to this other woman that she talked about all the time???????? So I would never trust her again....

But as you can see, from this thread, there ARE a lot of woman out there who do copy, b/c they have no original ideas of their own. Someone once told me, this person admires you so much, she wants to be you. She has not got a lot of confidence, and doesn't know how to be, therefore, when she copies you, she feels like someone special. When she buys clothing like yours, she feels all wrapped up safe and warm...it give her a high.

I'm an older woman, so I have no problem, what-so-ever cutting people out of my life. However, when I was younger I was more worried about hurting others then my own feelings. So, you have to make a choice....and then stick to it...but I tell you true, since I've cut these people from my life....I feel a whole lot less stress.....it was getting so, I feared inviting this woman to my home, b/c she wanted everything I have.

Sick.
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Old 02-06-2015, 06:28 AM
 
Location: Kentucky Bluegrass
28,970 posts, read 30,332,663 times
Reputation: 19250
Quote:
Originally Posted by 70's Music Girl View Post
I really do think people that copy others and really "look"to see what they can copy are people that really don't know who they are, lack a sense of identity.
It's one thing if someone is inspired by something someone is wearing "Oh, I loved your blue sparkly sweater you wore on New Years it inspired me to get something similar" and it's just once in awhile.
It's another thing if someone lack a sense of their own style and it doesn't come from within. This kind of person usually lacks a personality and morals, too.
I'm certain your right....well, actually I know you are, cuz I bought this up to a counselor friend of mine and she said the same thing...they actually steal your identity....and BTW, those that come into a thread like this and say, "your nuts," or something negative, I'd be willing to bet, they are the copiers....

yes, Music Girl, I have learned, you are right all the way around.....and over the years, have learned to spot them a lot sooner....and cut them out of my life immediately....always remember, "YOU", chose your friends, they don't choose you.
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Old 02-06-2015, 06:33 AM
 
Location: Kentucky Bluegrass
28,970 posts, read 30,332,663 times
Reputation: 19250
to the last two girls who replied....

I'd be willing to bet, your both independent gals....and I've found that people who copy you, envy that, b/c they cannot be that.....

this last girl said that to me, cuz I'm able to take vacations on my own and actually do anything alone...would rather do so, b/c I hate to wait for someone, and also, at my age, do not want to go on vacation with anyone, b/c I don't want to worry about doing what that person wants to do....I've had enough of that....when I go on vacation, don't want phones, computer, tv, just want to veg and read....and eat when I'm hungry...not b/c it's time to eat.

This last women said to me, I envy you and wish I could be like you, b/c your able to get in the car and drive for days all by yourself....and yes, I can....she said, she would fear doing that....and I told her, that she feared having fun, by herself, she needs someone in her life to do things with. Even if it means putting up with bad behavior, and I cannot stand gossip, that really turns me off big time.
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Old 02-23-2015, 08:40 AM
 
3 posts, read 2,956 times
Reputation: 28
Thank all for your advise.... I have begun to gradually and gracefully distance my self from this gal. I find it a disrespectful over step of boundries when copying has gone to this degree/level . Looking back, I wish I had not given her such "access and insight " into my life .....
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Old 02-23-2015, 11:07 AM
 
Location: Kentucky Bluegrass
28,970 posts, read 30,332,663 times
Reputation: 19250
Quote:
Originally Posted by loretta55 View Post
Thank all for your advise.... I have begun to gradually and gracefully distance my self from this gal. I find it a disrespectful over step of boundries when copying has gone to this degree/level . Looking back, I wish I had not given her such "access and insight " into my life .....
yes, it is a betrayal of friendship....most definately....I don't know if you've ever heard of an emotional vampire, but these people can be so overwhelming, it literally sucks the life out of you....

the worst woman I've ever had to deal with this, was the last....she wanted everything I had...literally....and she was such a gossiper, very nasty when people were not around....and she'd try to cover it up by saying, "maybe I shouldn't say this but...." I believe she envied people, and she actually told me she envied me...if I propped my flowers up, she'd do the same, if I got something new in my garden, like a flag, she had to have the very same thing...if I carried around a water bottle in the summer, she did it...I got a white car, she had to have one to....and got one....she would call me constantly and I tried talking to her many times asking her to more or less back off....and the copying part, she denied....it wasn't worth it, it was to the point that I didn't want her in my home any longer....she became a pain in the butt, literally, she was unable to respect privacy and someone else's creativity.

and so Loretta, you will most likely meet more people like this down the road, but be able to identify it a lot quicker...there is this little voice inside, that is usually right, learn to listen to it.
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Old 02-23-2015, 11:21 AM
 
Location: Eastern Shore of Maryland
5,940 posts, read 3,581,636 times
Reputation: 5651
I never cared if folks wanted to copy anything I did, for any reason. I actually would help them, or show them how to do it, if they wanted.

I don't care about standing out as "The One and Only" nor do I want praise for being the only one that can have a certain thing. Only a person that wants the "limelight" cares about that. Its a lot like buying a Sports Car, for "show and tell." You don't get as much attention if your neighbor buys one too, because he liked yours.

The funny part would be to know how many things you have done, or bought because you liked what you saw that some one else was wearing, doing, or had. The truth is likely that your all guilty of the same thing, more or less.

My tip for the day: You won't live a bit longer or enjoy it more,if you got your way, and no one copied anything.
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Old 02-23-2015, 11:33 AM
 
Location: Kentucky Bluegrass
28,970 posts, read 30,332,663 times
Reputation: 19250
Quote:
Originally Posted by Boris347 View Post
I never cared if folks wanted to copy anything I did, for any reason. I actually would help them, or show them how to do it, if they wanted.

I don't care about standing out as "The One and Only" nor do I want praise for being the only one that can have a certain thing. Only a person that wants the "limelight" cares about that. Its a lot like buying a Sports Car, for "show and tell." You don't get as much attention if your neighbor buys one too, because he liked yours.

The funny part would be to know how many things you have done, or bought because you liked what you saw that some one else was wearing, doing, or had. The truth is likely that your all guilty of the same thing, more or less.

My tip for the day: You won't live a bit longer or enjoy it more,if you got your way, and no one copied anything.
i am glad and happy that you don't mind....however, it isn't about being in the limelight, and it takes me a long time to buy something....or decide how to decorate or what I put on my walls or how I do my gardens...

and the funny part is, I don't steal anyone else's ideas....been told all my life, that I should have been an interior decorator....but when someone goes out and buys the very identical rug I have, which took me a lot of time to find....she had to have her hair cut like mine, I left my hair grow out, she put me down for it, but did the same thing....I mean, it gets really creepy.....and that isn't all of it....

I want things that most people do not have....Not at all into trends....
so don't use me to decorate your home, wear the same clothes, buy the same car, etc....that is a little overboard....


So, while I can understand what your saying, that is a very nice way to be, and I've done so at times, one woman asked me to help her find a bathroom shelf that goes behind her toilet, so I did, and have even bought stuff for people that I've had, and they said they liked it....however, when someone copies you constantly it can really drain you....

I mean she even asked me why I stopped wearing make up and I said, b/c I'm tired of it...and guess what, she stopped wearing make up....

this is the kind of thing I'm talking about, which is above and beyond the norm.

And I haven't even told you half the stuff....
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