Is it getting harder to make friends? (person, member, introvert)

[Trimac20]

Was it really any easier in the past, or is it because we look through rose-tinted glasses?

While there are theoretically more avenues than ever to make new friends (referring mainly to online) it seems it's no easier to make genuine friends. Online, of course, the odds are stacked against you even more, since it's so easy just to message a lot of people people get even more picky and wary.

In real life, it just seems if you go out to a pub, or a concert, strangers don't talk to each other much anymore. People just go out with their groups of friends and shut themselves off from everybody else. The other people just add 'atmosphere', I guess. When strangers talk to each other, it's mostly sleazy guys hitting on girls which makes it doubly hard to talk to a girl, have a good reason to talk to her (which seems more the case these days) AND hold her attention. Of course it still happens, but when she's engaged in conversation with her friends you can't just butt in or something. Waiting for her to be alone you just feel a bit creepy.

I mean it's probably always been somewhat like this. People just meet friends through school, work.etc. I don't think many people just strike up friendships with random strangers like in the movies. I think it takes someone with that rare knack for it, to be honest. Most people like really awkward if you try to talk to them.

[ho hey!]

I'm an introvert and I'm shy so it isn't easier for me. I met all of my good friends through college, and most importantly, we still make time for each other. Those who don't make time for their friends shouldn't complain how insensitive they are to your "feelings".

[ASpoon]

It seems harder to make friends in new cities because most ppl there went to school together, grew up together or been neighbors for years and years...so it's hard to just click and join in....I really would like to meet other moms close to my age with kids close to my son age...it's hard just to do that...I found myself signing up for mommy clubs...

[dalebx28]

I remember growing up my mom knew all the neighbor , we knew all the kids, on the block,

Now u don,t know yr neighbor maybe one and you dont know the people on the block. They say the older u get the harder it is to have and find friends.

That y so many of us die alone!

[Creature of the Wheel]

In my case, it has never been easy to make friends. Being an introvert also complicates things, which I am fine with. Having moved around a lot, and now armed with some life experience, I can spot a POS from a mile away. The few friends I have are precious to me, and I am very reluctant to go outside of my small social circle. Some of those friends have been mine for over 20 years.

I don't recall in recent years ever getting to know my neighbors. I don't bother because I don't care enough to know their names or personal business.

[Saritaschihuahua]

There are few real neighborhoods in the U.S. Most of it is one huge suburbia. We spend more time inside our cars, getting in and out of them, and making brief stops, than anything else. Unless you go to school or have a job, it's difficult to find places in which one is in contact with people for the period of time required to make a very strong bond.

Originally Posted by Trimac20

Was it really any easier in the past, or is it because we look through rose-tinted glasses?

While there are theoretically more avenues than ever to make new friends (referring mainly to online) it seems it's no easier to make genuine friends. Online, of course, the odds are stacked against you even more, since it's so easy just to message a lot of people people get even more picky and wary.

In real life, it just seems if you go out to a pub, or a concert, strangers don't talk to each other much anymore. People just go out with their groups of friends and shut themselves off from everybody else. The other people just add 'atmosphere', I guess. When strangers talk to each other, it's mostly sleazy guys hitting on girls which makes it doubly hard to talk to a girl, have a good reason to talk to her (which seems more the case these days) AND hold her attention. Of course it still happens, but when she's engaged in conversation with her friends you can't just butt in or something. Waiting for her to be alone you just feel a bit creepy.

I mean it's probably always been somewhat like this. People just meet friends through school, work.etc. I don't think many people just strike up friendships with random strangers like in the movies. I think it takes someone with that rare knack for it, to be honest. Most people like really awkward if you try to talk to them.

[purehuman]

I think it was easier to meet and make friends when there were no cell phones, texting, facebook etc....because you are meeting and interacting with real people whose emotions, reactions, and expressions are easily seen and heard...but I know lots of people disagree...I just think it's easier in person.

[Saritaschihuahua]

That's a very good point. I think cell phones, computers and texting, rather than bring us closer, only help us distance ourselves from others. It keeps us hidden behind technology.

Originally Posted by purehuman

I think it was easier to meet and make friends when there were no cell phones, texting, facebook etc....because you are meeting and interacting with real people whose emotions, reactions, and expressions are easily seen and heard...but I know lots of people disagree...I just think it's easier in person.

[robertpolyglot]

Thanks to Facebook, yes. There is indeed a belief that in the last few decades, better technology has had a detrimental impact on interpersonal relations.

[Saritaschihuahua]

Agreed. I canceled my Facebook over a year ago. I felt it was a somewhat sorry connection for me to have with family and friends.

Originally Posted by robertpolyglot

Thanks to Facebook, yes. There is indeed a belief that in the last few decades, better technology has had a detrimental impact on interpersonal relations.