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Could you not find an answer to what I asked you, so you came up with that ridiculous conclusion? How does that even make sense?? I said in my first it's because of misunderstandings with potential friends and my low social skills. I'm always trying to make friends with people and communicating with them, so how can that fear be the reason I have no friends?
It sounds like you may be trying too hard, desperation is not a good sauce.
It's something I thought of and I don't really know how you tell people because they're going to ask you about your other friends. Imean if I'm 20 years old and been through high school and was in another trade school program, how can I explain that I don't have any other friends?
I'll give a real example of what happened a few weeks ago. Me and another guy at school were talking about what we did on the weekend and I told him that I watched a few movies at home by myself. He then asked me why I watched them alone and not with any friends, I just said something like "nah, I watched them alone..." or something similar. I think it would be weird or stupid to just blurt out "Oh, I don't have any other friends other than who I hang out with here in our class." It might make them think I suck or am hard to put up with or something.
The truth is, things never worked out in high school or in the previous course I was in due to misunderstandings and my low social skills. But I think that would be weird to explain too. Has anyone else here ever run into this problem?
It is more common than you think, really. And as other people have explained in here, you don't owe anyone an explanation. There's nothing in the rule book that says people have to have a million friends... and those who do in my observation usually have superficial friendships.
It's something I thought of and I don't really know how you tell people because they're going to ask you about your other friends. Imean if I'm 20 years old and been through high school and was in another trade school program, how can I explain that I don't have any other friends?
I'll give a real example of what happened a few weeks ago. Me and another guy at school were talking about what we did on the weekend and I told him that I watched a few movies at home by myself. He then asked me why I watched them alone and not with any friends, I just said something like "nah, I watched them alone..." or something similar. I think it would be weird or stupid to just blurt out "Oh, I don't have any other friends other than who I hang out with here in our class." It might make them think I suck or am hard to put up with or something.
The truth is, things never worked out in high school or in the previous course I was in due to misunderstandings and my low social skills. But I think that would be weird to explain too. Has anyone else here ever run into this problem?
This is the oddest concept to me. I have never, in my life, worried about or concerned myself about who my friends associate with. My friends are my friends and I am their friend and so what...? My S/O befriended a new neighbor or ours a few months ago and she just flat out asked him 'how many 'other' friends do you have because I don't associate w/people who don't have alot of friends'...well...he told her it was none of her business and that she probably didn't know any of them anyway...yeah...this is the oddest concept...
Koale
It's something I thought of and I don't really know how you tell people because they're going to ask you about your other friends. Imean if I'm 20 years old and been through high school and was in another trade school program, how can I explain that I don't have any other friends?
I'll give a real example of what happened a few weeks ago. Me and another guy at school were talking about what we did on the weekend and I told him that I watched a few movies at home by myself. He then asked me why I watched them alone and not with any friends, I just said something like "nah, I watched them alone..." or something similar. I think it would be weird or stupid to just blurt out "Oh, I don't have any other friends other than who I hang out with here in our class." It might make them think I suck or am hard to put up with or something.
The truth is, things never worked out in high school or in the previous course I was in due to misunderstandings and my low social skills. But I think that would be weird to explain too. Has anyone else here ever run into this problem?
You know, on one hand, I agree with Checkered. The people who'd matter in the end, won't look down on you for not having any friends. For some it might actually make them feel closer to you, especially if in their past, they went through having no friends ...
But on the other hand, if you've lived in the same place all your life, it does appear weird to not have any friends. I could understand it if you were a transplant, but in your hometown.... it is a bit weird.
You did say you have some social difficulties/misunderstandings. I think you should work on those cause that's likely what's hindering you from making friends. You are 20, still very young. You have time to reinvent your life.
I've gone through periods when I felt I had no friends. It was not totally true, because I had some old childhood friends I stayed in contact with, but they lived far away. I didn't have anyone to hang out with regularly. I felt odd....but some of it was my fault because I was closed off to people. Once I opened myself up a bit, then I made friends again.
I never felt the need to say it to anyone though. Making such "admissions" makes it seem like you're ashamed, and while you may feel shame over it, that doesn't attract people either. I think the nonchalant attitude was the right way to go. Make it seem like it's a preference sometimes to do something alone, but then note that you're always looking for new people to hang out with. If you say "new people" then it just makes you sound like you like making new friends, period, whether you currently have any or not (which is none of their business).
Personally, I realized after I once again made friends that I'm something of a lone wolf anyway, and I had periods without friends because it just wasn't that important to me. I do stuff alone still because I like to. If someone asks why, then I tell them I enjoy my alone time. Then I might add that I like to do stuff with friends sometimes too, that way they don't think I am sending a hint that I don't like them (because I am actually quite friendly & open to new friends, but that doesn't mean I need or want to be around people all the time).
There's something else that I realized. Well maybe not really realized, more like I forgot to mention it here. I kind of hate that people think I have friends in the first place. I mean when you've been seeing a guy like me being shy, quiet and a kinda unsociable, why do they they even bother to think that I have friends? Is there a subtle way I can show or tell people I don't have any other friends outside of the classroom, so maybe they can get the idea or maybe feel bad and invite me to hang out sometime?
to ask someone to spend time with them and have them invite you because they feel bad for you, is not a good reason. I'd rather the genuine deal. I have tons of acquantances, most people do..friendships can't be forced, they'll only fall apart when things get serious.
not all loners are creepy, there's society again with its "rules".
You did say you have some social difficulties/misunderstandings. I think you should work on those cause that's likely what's hindering you from making friends. You are 20, still very young. You have time to reinvent your life.
The reason I had no friends from high school is b/c I ran with a kind of wild crowd and then decided to clean my life up and then sometimes I've heard people complain that their old friends from high school are so immature that they had to move on. People have all kinds of reasons to not have friends from HS and not all reasons are bad.
It's a very lonely world. My life has been a terrible disappointment. I always ask the intellectuals and elites why they chose this path for humanity. I can only think of one song right now. Judy Collins - Send in the Clowns. I posted the version from the Muppet Show to make people realize we are all puppets on a string.
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