How can I tell people I don't have any other friends? (person, introvert)
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It's something I thought of and I don't really know how you tell people because they're going to ask you about your other friends. Imean if I'm 20 years old and been through high school and was in another trade school program, how can I explain that I don't have any other friends?
I'll give a real example of what happened a few weeks ago. Me and another guy at school were talking about what we did on the weekend and I told him that I watched a few movies at home by myself. He then asked me why I watched them alone and not with any friends, I just said something like "nah, I watched them alone..." or something similar. I think it would be weird or stupid to just blurt out "Oh, I don't have any other friends other than who I hang out with here in our class." It might make them think I suck or am hard to put up with or something.
The truth is, things never worked out in high school or in the previous course I was in due to misunderstandings and my low social skills. But I think that would be weird to explain too. Has anyone else here ever run into this problem?
It's something I thought of and I don't really know how you tell people because they're going to ask you about your other friends. Imean if I'm 20 years old and been through high school and was in another trade school program, how can I explain that I don't have any other friends?
I'll give a real example of what happened a few weeks ago. Me and another guy at school were talking about what we did on the weekend and I told him that I watched a few movies at home by myself. He then asked me why I watched them alone and not with any friends, I just said something like "nah, I watched them alone..." or something similar. I think it would be weird or stupid to just blurt out "Oh, I don't have any other friends other than who I hang out with here in our class." It might make them think I suck or am hard to put up with or something.
The truth is, things never worked out in high school or in the previous course I was in due to misunderstandings and my low social skills. But I think that would be weird to explain too. Has anyone else here ever run into this problem?
It's not a popularity contest, And watching or even going to movie alone is normal. You owe no one an explanation. As far as friends, 2 or 3 close, supportive friendships are all you need. Many have people they hang out with, Just having drinks or activities but friendship is more personal then that.
You are only 20 years old. Your life is just beginning. Do not spend one minute about proving yourself. Give time to those that give it to you, without judgement. Have friendships that enrich your life as a whole. Take care of yourself physically, work hard and go to college. Build a foundation for the future for yourself.
It's something I thought of and I don't really know how you tell people because they're going to ask you about your other friends. Imean if I'm 20 years old and been through high school and was in another trade school program, how can I explain that I don't have any other friends?
I'll give a real example of what happened a few weeks ago. Me and another guy at school were talking about what we did on the weekend and I told him that I watched a few movies at home by myself. He then asked me why I watched them alone and not with any friends, I just said something like "nah, I watched them alone..." or something similar. I think it would be weird or stupid to just blurt out "Oh, I don't have any other friends other than who I hang out with here in our class." It might make them think I suck or am hard to put up with or something.
The truth is, things never worked out in high school or in the previous course I was in due to misunderstandings and my low social skills. But I think that would be weird to explain too. Has anyone else here ever run into this problem?
Making friends at your age is very easy. Nobody is tied down to anything, and people are generally looking to expand their network.
As someone who had a good amount of friends in college, 15 years later, I'll give you this advice.
A lot of people will not want to hang out with you if you have nothing to 'offer' them. A lot of people are flaky. Some people will even use you.
To get to a point in several years, where you have a few good loyal friends, it's important to hang on to the good people.
Always gauge your friends. If you think somebody is flaky or tentative to hang out, then move on.
As far as telling people I do things alone on the weekend, it's not as big a deal as it used to be. When you get to my age, sometimes people don't even ask what you did over the weekend.
It's something I thought of and I don't really know how you tell people because they're going to ask you about your other friends. Imean if I'm 20 years old and been through high school and was in another trade school program, how can I explain that I don't have any other friends?
I'll give a real example of what happened a few weeks ago. Me and another guy at school were talking about what we did on the weekend and I told him that I watched a few movies at home by myself. He then asked me why I watched them alone and not with any friends, I just said something like "nah, I watched them alone..." or something similar. I think it would be weird or stupid to just blurt out "Oh, I don't have any other friends other than who I hang out with here in our class." It might make them think I suck or am hard to put up with or something.
The truth is, things never worked out in high school or in the previous course I was in due to misunderstandings and my low social skills. But I think that would be weird to explain too. Has anyone else here ever run into this problem?
If you want to increase your network, I think you have to consider what you have to offer people. Clearly, you are not going to bring your own network of friends. If that is what a person wants from you, you can't offer it. They need to move on.
It's something I thought of and I don't really know how you tell people because they're going to ask you about your other friends. Imean if I'm 20 years old and been through high school and was in another trade school program, how can I explain that I don't have any other friends?
I'll give a real example of what happened a few weeks ago. Me and another guy at school were talking about what we did on the weekend and I told him that I watched a few movies at home by myself. He then asked me why I watched them alone and not with any friends, I just said something like "nah, I watched them alone..." or something similar. I think it would be weird or stupid to just blurt out "Oh, I don't have any other friends other than who I hang out with here in our class." It might make them think I suck or am hard to put up with or something.
The truth is, things never worked out in high school or in the previous course I was in due to misunderstandings and my low social skills. But I think that would be weird to explain too. Has anyone else here ever run into this problem?
You aren't obligated to explain yourself to anyone.
No excuses need to be made.
Just because someone else was not there when you watched the movie, doesn't mean the experience meant nothing.
Your acquaintance sounds a bit shallow.
Perhaps he or she doesn't feel comfortable unless they're in a group.
Many people don't have a wide circle of friends.
It's not unique to you and you don't need to justify yourself.
Making friends at your age is very easy. Nobody is tied down to anything, and people are generally looking to expand their network.
As someone who had a good amount of friends in college, 15 years later, I'll give you this advice.
A lot of people will not want to hang out with you if you have nothing to 'offer' them. A lot of people are flaky. Some people will even use you.
To get to a point in several years, where you have a few good loyal friends, it's important to hang on to the good people.
Always gauge your friends. If you think somebody is flaky or tentative to hang out, then move on.
As far as telling people I do things alone on the weekend, it's not as big a deal as it used to be. When you get to my age, sometimes people don't even ask what you did over the weekend.
I agree with all of this except the first part where you said making friends at your age is very easy. Maybe for some people, regardless of age, making friends isn't easy.
I've always had a hard time making friends, even as a kid, because I'm an introvert. I'm not shy. Just not outgoing.
Granted, as you get older, it does get harder.
To the OP: I think what you could have said to your classmate, if you wanted to justify, which you totally shouldn't feel like you need to, is something along the lines of "I don't really know that many people here". Maybe he was asking because he would like to hang out sometime if you aren't busy with other people.
Lonely road ahead of you unless you chage stuff.. I know coz i'm traveling the same road since I left my hometown...
Friends in school, or well friendly aquaintances at least, but hardly any socializing during weekends, afternoons etc...
Bottom line is I wouldn't tell anyone about my lonelyness, because of what you said in the opening post.... people look at you as weird "oh there must be something off with him".
In the film case I usually say I get more indulged with the movie if I see it alone, and watching something on a screen isn't that social to begin with anyway...
um, just tell them. and then them why you don't want them. you don't have to talk to them about 'loneliness,' get a therapist for that. of course they are going to pass judgement on you for this because they do that to anyone that's not following the herd. proceed to ignore.
No reason to fear their reaction or judgement. Although some people may judge and jump to conclusions, any potential new friend worth their salt are not going to judge your character by how large or small of a circle of friends you keep.
I have never had many friends throughout my life. Usually, just a couple who I am close and very loyal with. When I meet people with large cicrles of friends, they tend to be more acquaintances than friends anyway. People they know, and may share something in common with (common interest, activity, etc). However, they have few, or even no close friends. (It is perfectly fine to have a large social circle too, but it isn't for everyone).
If you have confidence in yoursellf and the decisions you have made with regard to your social circle, you have no reason to fear judgement because of it. Other's will see that too, and respect you for your decisions and life choices.
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