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One thing I have found to be true about most of my friends through the years is they are totally self absorbed. They love to talk about themselves, their friends, their coworkers, what they think, how they feel, but have little sincere interest in me. I know I should find better friends. Easier said than done.
As I moved around, started new jobs, people came and went but a constant is still most people I meet are self absorbed. I bring this up to my friends in a gentle way and ask them why they don't express more interest in what is going on with me, but never reach an understanding.
I am very interested in what is going on with them but they don't seem all that interested in me. (What interests me, what is going on in my life, my issues, problems, work, play and personal soup operas)
One thing I have found to be true about most of my friends through the years is they are totally self absorbed. They love to talk about themselves, their friends, their coworkers, what they think, how they feel, but have little sincere interest in me. I know I should find better friends. Easier said than done.
As I moved around, started new jobs, people came and went but a constant is still most people I meet are self absorbed. I bring this up to my friends in a gentle way and ask them why they don't express more interest in what is going on with me, but never reach an understanding.
I am very interested in what is going on with them but they don't seem all that interested in me. (What interests me, what is going on in my life, my issues, problems, work, play and personal soup operas)
Am I expecting to much?
People do love to tall about themselves for the most part. Most everyone wants to be seen in a positive light so talking about (Or talking up) thier accomplishments and life comes naturally at first. But A person who is interested in your side of it will ask questions. With friends, I ask them about their lives regarding work, family and their relationships and they do the same with me. Relationships and conversation-To me should be reciprocal.
All of our friends know what is going on in each other's life's, it may be after the fact at times because of life getting in the way of our chatting and the fact that we live in different states but the important things are always made known. It may be a quick text or an email but it is out there and we do have 2 sided conversations not just one.
regular folk....I don't think you're "asking too much"...... but they're your friends, you picked them, and I guess for them it is too much....your friends sound more like aquaintances than friends.
I have never been the person any of my "friends" are interested in. Very few actually know anything about me. It has always been about them or one of their other friends/family from day one. Maybe it's because I talked less than other students. I guess I wasn't as interesting as the popular ones who were louder and more talkative than me. So no, I don't really expect them to ask any questions about my life. However, I have a strong feeling I'm going to famous one day and just know that I am going to be the "popular" one and everyone is going to be asking questions about me and my life then and wanting to be in my business.
I think good friends talk to each other about themselves, yes. The way you can tell if they are a good friend or not is if they also ask you about how you are doing and what is going on in your life.
A relationship is a two-way street. Your friends are on a one-way street. They are very self absorbed. I think I would sit them all down together and tell them what you think and feel and see if that helps. If not, you may want to consider new friends.
I don't think you're expecting too much, but the common denominator in all of this is you. This isn't really normal behavior, so why have you found yourself repeatedly in this situation?
I mean, I tend to be a chatterer because of the ADD, but I've trained myself to stop and ask people about themselves. I'm actually interested in their lives - I just used to have a habit of going off on "me" tangents. Still do, but I balance it out. But I'm thinking not everyone you know has undiagnosed ADD. So we're back to you. Do you gravitate towards this type for a reason?
I have a friend who's like that--well actually, she's my neighbor. She's the only friend I have like that. The rest engage in true conversation rather than just talk about what they want to talk about. Overall, she's a very giving, kind person. So I look past the lopsided conversations we have. She's an only child. I wonder if that has something to do with it. Perhaps she's not use the to the spotlight not being on her.
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