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My husband should be a therapist, everyone shares everything with him. And he is not afraid to offer his opinions either. The only exception to that is with regard to couples that are fighting. He knows that they usually get back together again and will remember every thing he said.
Same here. It's been that way since I was young and has continued to today at middle age. Strangers and even acquaintances (persons I know by name primarily but not well such as co-workers in other offices or friend of a friend) of all races, ages, genders, and economic status. Nothing is required on my part for them to open up. I don't ask them questions nor ask how things are going to get them started or anything. We greet each other with a standard hi or hello and they take it from there. Within 10 minutes, they are deep in conversation about some personal problem, past traumatic experience they've been through, or confession. I've been told about sexual molestations, rapes, person having committed rape, sodomy, being a sex worker in the recent past, stripper, adultery, the other woman, the other man, cheating on a girlfriend or boyfriend, stealing, horrible parents, grew up in foster care, racists thoughts of family members towards other races, trying to get pregnant, abortions, miscarriages, barrenness, same-sex attraction by persons who are straight, gays who have suffered abuse, money problems, acquisition of money, witchcraft, loneliness, loveless marriage, sexless marriage, marriage for green card, mental abuse by loved one, involvement in physical altercations, guns, jail time, witnessing horrific acts in the military, adult sibling rivalry, parent's favoritism toward another sibling, failures in life. These are type of things that I would NEVER feel comfortable sharing with a person I didn't know well.
I'm a listener so I just listen and give non-verbal affirmation that I'm listening (eye contact, shaking head in affirmation or disbelief, sighing in empathy, etc.), which I am actually listening. I'm Christian, which the majority of these people that share with me have no way to know beforehand. I do offer my opinion from a Christian-perspective but they never appear offended or regret having told me what they did. I never get couples together, though. It will be one partner or the other.
I attract little kids like a magnet. Anywhere I am, all the children will come and stand around me, looking expectant.
It causes a lot of jokes with my friends and family because I don't really like other people's children. I don't encourage them. I don't smile at them. I don't want them around me, yet here they all come.
I attract little kids like a magnet. Anywhere I am, all the children will come and stand around me, looking expectant.
It causes a lot of jokes with my friends and family because I don't really like other people's children. I don't encourage them. I don't smile at them. I don't want them around me, yet here they all come.
I have that "problem" too! And I don't encourage kids to talk to me either. But I get the stares, and the careful little "hello". Parents get embarassed and apologize quite often. I have no clue why this is, maybe because I am a small woman and they don't find me threatening. Or I just look like a freak...
Happens all the time. Total strangers in the department store will walk over to me and start talking about all of their problems. Friends will want to get together and spend the whole time just letting out all of their stress. Not ranting at me or anything just talking it out. Somehow it helps them. This is just part of what being an empathic person is about. There are not enough people in the world with good listening skills and sometimes what a person really needs is just for someone to listen to them. Even a stranger.
All it takes from me is a little of my time and sometime it does leave me a bit tired. Taking all of that negative energy from them is a benefit for them, although a little draining when you have not worked on how not to take it into yourself when you do so.
Yep. Can't even go to the grocery store without: "Hi" Hi. "Nice salads on sale!" Yep. "My ex husband liked salad." Mmhmm. "He ran away with his secretary two years ago." Mmhmm, mmhmm. "It's just, you invest so much time in a relationship and people just throw it away for a fling. For a fling!" Yes, mmhmm, it's a shame... *walking down the aisle* "I was going to kill myself when I first found out, you know, but then I thought about our kids *following me*".
I wish I was exaggerating. It's kind of like the universe said, "Oh, so you think you can just avoid being a therapist? Watch this, beoooootch!"
I don't know if this is a gift or a curse, but, I find many many people just totally open up to me. I have lots of people tell me in a short verbal exchange that their parent, spouse or loved one is an alchoholic or that they are in an abusive relationship. I have co-workers just that I don't know well start telling me how their step father sexually abused them and I'm pretty surprised at how much he spilled out to me. I guess I really don't mind at all and I try and be loving and caring and offer good advice and tell them to get some proper help. This happens to me at least three or four times a week....anybody else experience this
It is very very common for me. I put this down to two reasons.
The first is that I am in a relationship that differs greatly from the "norm". While I do not wave this in peoples faces - I am open about it - and when you are open about anything sexually that differs from the norm then people take this as a signal that they can talk to you about such things as well.
The second is I run a kind of free guided meditation thing every so often. I do this free for students in the college local to me - but over the years members of it have come to include many other people. A trainee priest - an actual priest - and some people suffering from issues with anger management and substance addiction (usually alcohol) are among the more colorful examples. Such people see me as a kind of mentor type and as such open up to me a lot because of it.
And I appear also for the above reasons to be the "go to guy" for issues in my circle of friends. I feel like the Godfather of my social circle at times. I do not complain - it is fine with me. I am also the locus for much of our social events and arrangements so I am pretty fore in their minds at the best of times.
Yes, when I was younger, this used to happen to me ALL.THE.TIME. Now it happens so much less and frankly I'm just fine with that. I am empathic and I do "get it", which are great qualities to have, but I have much stronger boundaries now. I learned to strengthen those boundaries because I found that I was attracting anybody and everybody, and I was getting enmeshed in their problems.
When you're a naturally compassionate person, it's hard to shut it off (or at least wall it off), but you must learn how to do this for your own sake.
This! I had to shut myself off because it was putting me in some pretty bad situations.
In one instance, a co-worker confessed some pretty bad stuff. Then I'd always hear others talking about how sweet and wonderful she is. I never revealed what she told me, but it made me very uncomfortable around the co-workers.
Another time, I fell for a family member's lie and ended up giving away my college money.
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