How can I break out of my shell to meet and talk to people? (person, brother)

[Aydil]

I'm starting university this summer in Oklahoma. I'm extremely shy, and I'm a bit of a pessimist because I tend to think negatively when I meet new people. Sometimes when I talk I make no sense then I hide in my room or car thinking I blew it meeting people forever.

I want to be outgoing and sociable. I want to make friends. I'm tired of being quiet and shy.

I just have these obstacles that block me from doing things.

How can you overcome this? Any tips on how to make friends in college or in my dorms?

[The Dissenter]

Originally Posted by Aydil

I'm starting university this summer in Oklahoma. I'm extremely shy, and I'm a bit of a pessimist because I tend to think negatively when I meet new people. Sometimes when I talk I make no sense then I hide in my room or car thinking I blew it meeting people forever.

I want to be outgoing and sociable. I want to make friends. I'm tired of being quiet and shy.

I just have these obstacles that block me from doing things.

How can you overcome this? Any tips on how to make friends in college or in my dorms?

I was an extremely shy guy. Then I got into a Meetup.com group that I had a lot in common with upon moving to Washington, I made a couple of good friends and now I'm more social than ever.

[Aydil]

Originally Posted by The Dissenter

I was an extremely shy guy. Then I got into a Meetup.com group that I had a lot in common with upon moving to Washington, I made a couple of good friends and now I'm more social than ever.

I've tired looking at the area I'll be in with meetup.com but there are no groups :/

It's a relatively small town, the school is tiny itself too. :c

Thanks for the suggestion though!

[Aydil]

Bump ?

[jim9251]

Is it OU? Go to a football game, or to a pep rally. You'll have fun and I bet make friends. Don't try to over think things, be yourself. Personally, I think the quiet shy girls are the most attractive.

[Aydil]

Originally Posted by jim9251

Is it OU? Go to a football game, or to a pep rally. You'll have fun and I bet make friends. Don't try to over think things, be yourself. Personally, I think the quiet shy girls are the most attractive.

No. I don't really like football, I'm more of a basketball/baseball girl!

[fleetiebelle]

If it's a university, there will be all kinds of groups and activities to join. Most colleges have a fair or something where all the groups have tables and people can sign up. Sign up and then follow through and actually go to meetings/participate. Make friends with the people in your dorm.

[eyewrist]

Originally Posted by Aydil

I'm starting university this summer in Oklahoma. I'm extremely shy, and I'm a bit of a pessimist because I tend to think negatively when I meet new people. Sometimes when I talk I make no sense then I hide in my room or car thinking I blew it meeting people forever.

I want to be outgoing and sociable. I want to make friends. I'm tired of being quiet and shy.

I just have these obstacles that block me from doing things.

How can you overcome this? Any tips on how to make friends in college or in my dorms?

First: Get rid of the pessimism and negativity in your mind of others. You are not perfect nor are they. Plus people can spot that attitude a mile away and avoid you like a plague.

Second: Be relaxed and ask general questions about the university. You all are in a new situation so all of you a stumbling around there trying to get in where you fit in.

Third: Find you a couple ( literally meaning two) of good friends while at the same time BEING a good friend. You are not there to make friends but learn. 98.5 % of those people on campus right now will be of no importance to you after you graduate. Everybody will go on to live there independent lives apart from you

[oddstray]

Have a bunch of "stock" questions to ask people. If the university is in a small town, did they grow up in a big city? Is it difficult to get used to a small town?

Do they have brothers and sisters?

Why did they choose the majors they chose?


Stuff like that. To fill in the quiet spots, when they drag on too long (some quiet spots are good, in conversation).

[NewJerseyMemories]

Originally Posted by Aydil

I'm starting university this summer in Oklahoma. I'm extremely shy, and I'm a bit of a pessimist because I tend to think negatively when I meet new people. Sometimes when I talk I make no sense then I hide in my room or car thinking I blew it meeting people forever.

I want to be outgoing and sociable. I want to make friends. I'm tired of being quiet and shy.

I just have these obstacles that block me from doing things.

How can you overcome this? Any tips on how to make friends in college or in my dorms?

Join as many clubs as you can (newspaper, French club, sports etc.) Be an active participant! Most importantly, make the first move! Just go up to three strangers a day (in class or a club) and speak first! Also smile at everyone and say hi!

I used to be very, very shy, and I expected everyone else to do 100% of the work of making friends while I just sat there not saying a word. I finally learned how unfair I was being to others, not to mention the fact that many people didn't understand that I was shy, they thought that I was a snob. I was incredibly self-conscious. I was really paranoid. Then I finally realized that no one was really paying me any attention.

Join Toastmasters or take a speech class, get involved in dorm activities, just get involved! College is so much more fun than high school, and this time away from home is the time to really stretch your wings!