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I thought of making this thread more like in a form of question, but basically I will give my opinion on the mindset that married people should only be friends with other married people.
It is natural that people who have a new experience in life may look for relationships (non-romantic- I am talking about human/social relationships here) with other married people because generally, "single" people have a different mentality especially if they are actively looking for a partner with the purpose of seeking "settlement" via marriage or domestic partnership.
But not all people on Earth want to marry, and not all people are looking for romantic relationships. I will put myself as an example. I have been a declared celibate since several years. Last time I wanted a relationship was on 2009, after that my romantic tendencies decayed until they died out. At this time, at my age 29, I live kind of similar to a married man. Most of my friends are married. The only friend I had who was single married a month ago, two of my other great friends are married- and one of my childhood friends is marrying next April, by then I will only have married friends except for one but he is on the way to marrying soon. In a few months I will be the only single person known by me, lol.
But, anyway, I am not concerned about marriage because I am celibate, which is basically the equivalent of marriage for a person like me, especially considering my asexual aromantic orientation- which prevents me from feeling either sexual/romantic attraction to anyone. And this is why I am saying that not necessarily all married people need to have ONLY married friends.
There are of course, people who are not asexual and who are the traditional normal single people, and are still friends with married people and represent no real danger to the married person.
I hate that the media always depicts single-married relationships as impossible and problematic. You see a married couple then comes this single man or woman talking to the married of the opposite sex and they end up kissing or exchanging inappropriate talk. I know some single people do not know what the limits of respect are concerning their married friends and sometimes the married person ends up dumping the friendship because of the constant indiscretion. I understand conversations about sex, intimacy and some details on romantic relationships may not seem appropriate between married and single people. But what if a married man and a single man like soccer? Or baseball? Why can't they share together?
I don't really mind if my married friends share time with me either one of them or both (the wife and the husband). The fact is I care nothing about romance and relationships, so any conversation I have with married people are the very same conversations I can have with single people- politics, religion, sports, human issues- trivial matters. Most of my friends know I am asexual (I officially declared it on my Facebook so any "doubts" about my sexual orientation could be resolved) and surprisingly they all respect me and now they seem much more comfortable. Yes maybe my orientation is not as "socially unaccepted" as gays but soon enough, people will eventually learn to respect everyone's sexual preference.
Hmmmmmm. I can't get past the you don't want sex part. Sorry. It's too much of a quality of life issue for me. (I do have single friends both male and female and I'm married.)
We've been married for decades...we have a LOT of single friends. Everyone I know I respect, and it's never based on their sexual preference, or lack of...don't set store on what media fluff tells you.
As part of a married couple, the number of single friends we have outnumbers the married. But, we don't necessarily 'fit in' with the typical married folks I guess, since we don't/aren't having kids.
many people say that married couples shouldn't have single friends. but as long as you have things in common with the other people then marital status shouldn't matter.
Good Lord, we have married friends, single friends and until all my single women friends were eligible for SS were lined up for my husband in case I died! LOL! Somebodies research don't add up, in my opinion.
1) Was obsessed with the husband in the couple, basically suffocating the poor guy with your full-court press.
2) Never reached out to the wife, so much so that she'd leave the room whenever you arrived and hide in their bedroom?
3) Defriended her on Facebook.
4) Then defriended him?
If so, you've really got to work on yourself and your confused sexuality.
I don't believe that. I know a lot of married people see single people, particularly women, as some kind of threat, but I've seen more cheating among married couples who are friends than I care to think about.
My husband and I enjoy spending our free time with each other. We don't get much of it, so it's a precious commodity. If a friend is in town one weekend, it's just easier if that person is paired up so we can all hang out and keep the chatter going. No one wants to be the third wheel or be left out of conversation. We have single friends that we are close with, but for our rare excursions into nightlife, we prefer to hang out with other couples.
A lot of married people still have single friends -- the wife will have single gal-pals that were her gal-pals before she married, and the guy will have his pals. That's not unsual especially at certain ages when some are getting married and others haven't yet married.
Eventually though friendships dim when there is less and less in common. If the singles pursue a more single kind of lifestyle, and the marrieds get more adjusted to married life, start having children then the friendships grow apart.
It's kind of that old "two's company, three's a crowd" or the fifth wheel -- people socialize as couples or as singles and it's easier for singles to socialize with fellow singles, and couples with couples.
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