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First time I wanted to kill myself was when I was 10, because of school kids. Luckily, my parents did not have real pills at home. I got high on back pain relief drops, aspirin and liqour, hoping to drop dead.
Got teased for beeing too tall and too skinny and ugly glasses, nasty perm and awful clothes. I had to wear my 7 year older sisters used clothes. Never forget the time I had to wear her old neon clothes, which was completely OUT and worn at the time I fit in them.
I hated my life all the way through highschool. I was already 5.10" when I was 12. Pants are always too short and too wide. Shoes always too small (had to get hammer toe surgery later on). Never got any dance partner at school events. Sitting crying in the bathroom, while others had fun dancing.
Turned 16, got some curves, muscles, nice long hair, contact lenses, my own clothes who fit and were modern and the guys who laughed at me before, showed up on my door to ask me out.
I started modeling with 19 and hoped all these jerks see me on the tv (I was hired 2x for appearances on tv).
I still feel like the ugly duck inside often, no matter what I see in the mirror.
I didn't/don't enjoy my college years even though in high school I always looked forward to them in the hopes that my peers would "catch up" to me. I liked high school a bit more though just because it was more diverse. I always feel so much older than my peers and so most of my friends tend to be in their mid to late 20s/early 30s. I'm very goal-oriented and was never into certain things, which left me a little isolated on campus. Drinking, partying, clubbing got older after the 3rd time, but I did try. I'm such a calm-natured person and so independent minded that some things never really appealed to me in addition to the fact that I had a hard time coping with religiosity and the lack of diversity on my campus as well as trying to do well in school and learn all the content. I just felt so out of place.
I'm VERY glad to be at the final stretch but now that I'm older and a bit more realistic, I don't anticipate my peers "catching up" to me. High school/middle school mentality never really goes away for most people, that's why we are faced with it at such a young age. It's so that when you get older and you have to be out there on your own, you have a better understanding of how to cope with it.
HS was also difficult for me. Shy, with ADD (didn't know then), from a poor family, I never did fit in. Now, I know that it was a bit depressing for me, but at the time I didn't understand that. Later, I took college courses from time to time, finally graduating late in life. College was much better for me!
High school was okay , I went with the neighborhood kids to a school locally known as 'Bucktown High'. A lot of kids carried guns , but this was of no consequence. The school kept placing me into the same Algebra classes I passed in junior high , and turned deaf ears to my insistence to the obvious. Following my second stint in Algebra I , I said 'Screw 'Em' , and began taking public transport. I'd leave my mother's house , jump on the bus , head downtown , and either hop random buses for exploration , or meet buddies and partake in the ganja. I learned a lot about society doing this , running into all walks of life , and exploring areas of the city that were uncharted. It caught up with me in the end , I'd time myself to arrive right when my lunch period began , and was eventually expelled for getting mixed up with the wrong crowd. When I was in 'Street Academy' , I enjoyed it a lot better. Granted , it was in a strip mall , no windows , railway 10' from the rear door , but I got along with nearly everyone there , save for 1 or 2. Everyone there had did something terrible to end up there , but I liked it. The teachers were wonderful , it was similar to 'Dangerous Minds' in a way , sans the neighborhood setting. When I went back to my regular school my junior year , I was again expelled , and ended up graduating early with honors and a 4.0 GPA. Since then , I've been exploring the tri state area , with plans to expand charted areas to hopefully include at least 80% of N.America , among other landmasses. Resuming my astronomy studies , I can't ask for anything more , save for a house. I'll have to continue keeping my nose to the proverbial grindstone in order to achieve this. I have turned into a reclusive person within the past 5 years , but am enjoying this as well. I occasionally run into those I went to school with , but these encounters are few and far between. A few of my schoolmates I wouldn't mind seeing , but que sera sera. Eventually , as the city's population grows , these encounters will become less common , but I really don't care. The close group of buddies I've known since '92 will always be my friends , even though some no longer exist. I remember one time several of us went to the trainyards to tag some cars , one of the aforementioned sprayed 'Perplexed' onto a bridge column , and it remains to this day. The more things change , the more they remain static , as evidenced by encounters with former schoolmates who are still in high school mentally. I don't have the patience for that nowadays , that's why they have strings of kids and still rely on the bus to get them where they need to go.
College wasn't too bad, altho I didn't really make the most of it. (I caught up in grad school .) School was a nightmare! I went to an all-girls' boarding school for 7 years and I was the least popular person there - constantly picked on and bullied by the cliques. Admittedly I brought some of it on myself, but some of the girls there were like Mean Girls + Heathers + Bad Girls rolled into one. When I finally graduated I left skidmarks in the parking lot! And I've never been back.
High School was crap besides sports. College was ok, I do miss a lot about it. Post grad has been my biggest experience, my job is interesting and giving me experiences I didn't get to do in college. Plus I live alone now, no stinkin room mates.
High school absolutely sucked. I did not fit in with regular people and there was no place for me in the social world of high school. I often wished I had never been born. It seemed like those four years that would never ever end, and now, many times four years later, it seems as though four years goes by like a blink.
Didn't go to college, so I can't comment on that.
What's bizarre to me is that I have heard a few people say that high school was the happiest time of their lives. I feel sorry for them.
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.) School was a nightmare! I went to an all-girls' boarding school for 7 years and I was the least popular person there - constantly picked on and bullied by the cliques. Admittedly I brought some of it on myself, but some of the girls there were like Mean Girls + Heathers + Bad Girls rolled into one. When I finally graduated I left skidmarks in the parking lot! And I've never been back.
