Thank you note problems (person, member, affection, grandma)

[mej1]

This is something that torments the heck out of me for some reason and I'm not sure why.

Every year, my grandma sends me a birthday and Christmas card with a check in it. I always send a thank you note/card as I know it's the proper thing to do. What drives me crazy is that I literally am at a loss for what to write in the thank you note/card. I've researched what should be written in it, but when I go to write it, I come up with a big blank.

I usually end up writing something like this:

Dear Grandma,
Thank you for the generous gift. I think I will save it for something special.

Love,
Kate

---
Sometimes I'll lie about what I'll do with the check just to keep from sounding boring because I never spend it, I save it. So I might say:

Dear Grandma,
Thank you for the generous gift. It will come in handy for that new cat condo I was planning on buying.

Love,
Kate
----

I know I'm supposed to write more than that. But I can't come up with anything. The last few years I've been sending a pre-printed thank you card (as opposed to a blank one) and then adding my own thing to it.

I don't ever see my grandma even though she lives nearby. I'm very, very shy and actually have social anxiety so I dread the thought of visiting her (and a lot of other people I love). We never had a close relationship in that she wasn't very affectionate and didn't seem to know what to do with a child. She always made me feel uncomfortable and scared even though she's a very nice person. Although she does come across as nervous herself but certainly isn't shy. I remember spending the night at her house as a child and being scared to death and secretly crying in bed because I wanted to go home. I never told my parents. I usually only willingly went to her house to see my younger cousin who she usually babysat. I feel bad about our relationship but she always knew I was shy. She could have and still could make an effort to see me, if she really wanted to.

So anyway... Any advice as to what to write in the thank you note/card? Or is what I've been writing good enough? Is the fact that I'm acknowledging her gift and sending a thank you note/card good enough?

[biscuitmom]

Originally Posted by mej1

This is something that torments the heck out of me for some reason and I'm not sure why.

You might consider exploring this issue, with professional help, vs. any wording on notes.
(assuming this isn't a troll post, who know?)

[Inkpoe]

Originally Posted by mej1

This is something that torments the heck out of me for some reason and I'm not sure why.

...

So anyway... Any advice as to what to write in the thank you note/card? Or is what I've been writing good enough? Is the fact that I'm acknowledging her gift and sending a thank you note/card good enough?

Could be that you weren't taught on the how-to aspect of this very nice etiquette or haven't got the experience/comfort down. Personally I don't like what you've written because it sounds just as awkward as you feel and feels incomplete.

I usually go to websites like this: Thank You for the Gift to get an idea of how to write and see a sample. If you look to the left, there's a section dedicated to teaching how to write that perfect TY note ("How to Thank"). It even has the top 10 Don'ts. The step by step link: How To Write a Thank You Note

[elyn02]

Since you are waiting for her to come visit you, tell her you are waiting for her visit so you can treat the both of you to a nice dinner.

[katie45]

Next time you receive a gift from her, Why not call instead of writing a note? She would probably love to speak to you on the phone.

[mainebrokerman]

stop beating yourself up...

when someone gives a gift- it makes them feel good giving it...so any reply/thank you is good..

you sound like a nervous chipmunk, chill out....stop worrying..

[BirdieBelle]

You are really overthinking this.

Stop thinking of the note as a symbol of your relationship.

Just write variations of what you've already done. It happens once or twice a year. It really is not something that has to be Pulitzer-worthy.

At least you are writing thank-you notes!

And PLEASE get some help for your social anxiety.

[jsun556]

Lol, all I did was give them a call to thank them and see how they were doing. That worked out fine.

You need to settle down.

[don1945]

Wow, the BIG problems in life must REALLY eat away at you ! As the others have said, you did better than most folks, you took the time to write a thank you note. I would have called her, said my thanks there, and then sent her a little note too. If you want to go even beyond that, you might send her the thank you note with something nice enclosed, like a small gift or some treat she enjoys eating. (We old people LOVE food treats. )

Quit beating yourself up, you did good.

Don

[WhereTheSidewalkEnds]

You researched what should be written? Just write from the heart.