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Why would you engage in a rental situation with a depressed couch-dweller that could affect your credit rating??? I assume you were paying the mortgage on your home before he moved in and that you did not need his rent to buy the house.
If so, why not just charge him a monthly rent and have him pay in cash/check??
Anyway, it feels like you are WAY too wrapped up in this situation. I seriously think you need to work on an exit plan ASAP and let him figure out his life on his own.
It's not as if he's an abandoned teenager who still needs a guardian. This guy has family; whether or not YOU think they are fit seems to be clouding your judgment.
Sometimes it really doesn't pay to help people out.
I'm in a similar, yet different, situation with a 26 year old guy who I've known since he was 15 and friend with my kids. Troubled home life, no family support or encouragement, etc. He hung around here for years but I taught him how to drive, helped him get a bank account, and insurance and all the stuff his mom should have done. He had a full time job and lived with his gf in a nice apartment for a couple years after HS and when that blew up (breakup/store closed) I let him stay with us. He had been a lousy student but was really quite intelligent so I pushed him to go to community college, which he's been doing while working a new part time job. He will have his AA degree soon and I put him on notice that he has to be out of my house by 2014, there are many reason for it but mostly because I fear him turning into the guy in the OP. He NEEDS to be independent.
You were right that I don't need the rent to pay my mortgage, and I certainly wouldn't have trusted him to make a payment that was tied to my credit. I've been fooled too many times. He told me wanted to turn his life around and not spend all his days playing video games, so I offered to help him prepare his resume. When the time came, he told me it was on my computer (he had mailed me an old one with incorrect information several months ago) and to just send it back to him when I was done because he had things he wanted to do. I told him I didn't offer free resume re-writing services for people that weren't interested in being involved, and he didn't want to talk to me anymore because he felt I was having a bad mood.
It appears the comments have been right and I will have to gracefully show him to the door. His mother asked if he needed treatment for depression, and I hadn't thought so earlier, but considering the comments and the behavior I've witnessed she may have been right.
As many people have said, I will probably be writing off my bad debts. It isn't that he can't pay them, he has the money in savings, it's that he doesn't want to do it because it would "be awful to have to put more money into the account that makes his student loan payments". Good grief.
Yes, I am guilty of trying to reshape him. Yes, it is embarrassing to fail, but I can do it. More than that it is disheartening, because his entire family has been encouraging me and hoping I could get him to change. While I have been "trying to change him", I would consider someone a bad friend if they watched someone sit at home with a video game addiction and did nothing. It sounds worse when it is phrased as me trying to reshape him, but rehabilitate may be a more accurate term.
Thank you to everyone who has chimed in.
PS. For anyone not watching dates on posts. This is a month and a half after the last post in the thread. The big test is done (though this program won't send out results until late July). The test was June 1st, and in 3 weeks he sent out 3 applications using a file format that most managers can't open. That got my eyes to open.
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