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Of course some posters (ahem - men) try to turn it around as if she's the problem. All of the guys posting the "Why are we called creepy" threads should come over here and read this one. Maybe that would help them get it.
"I've only met you twice, but hey come down here in the basement of a house that no one knows where you are and you have no idea what could be down here" - how does anyone think that's normal??????
Of course some posters (ahem - men) try to turn it around as if she's the problem. All of the guys posting the "Why are we called creepy" threads should come over here and read this one. Maybe that would help them get it.
"I've only met you twice, but hey come down here in the basement of a house that no one knows where you are and you have no idea what could be down here" - how does anyone think that's normal??????
And yet this is the most chauvinist post made. Quite hypocritical.
And here I was, ready for a thread about a Glenn Beck clone. ("Wing-nut" is generally used in a political sense.)
Honestly? He sounds like he was on something, maybe a speedball gone awry. Or maybe he was supposed to be on medication and didn't take it that day.
As for reporting him to the dating site, that will accomplish nothing. Those sites usually come with disclaimers that absolve them from any responsibility or guardianship of anything that transpires between members. Their rules are generally more along the lines of "don't steal other people's photos, and don't use this site to advertise products, engage in prostitution, harass people, or send people naked photos of yourself."
There's really nothing you can do at this point but ignore his calls. Save his messages, and if he starts threatening you, then you can do something about it legally, like call the police and get a restraining order. But for now, unfortunately, "this guy I met acted weirdly" isn't going to be enough for anyone to do anything. Even if you had called the police that night, they would only ask you if he threatened you or hurt you in some way and when you said "no," they'd tell you to call back if he does. Too much real crime to handle, and you really have nothing on him but some erratic behavior. Probably not what you want to hear, but that's the reality of it.
I'm with those who think all of us need to listen to our gut. You reacted well in a confusing and difficult situation. Don't be embarrassed about your actions. He is the one whose behavior was out of line, not yours.
It is hopeless to call the police; they will do nothing. I would consider reporting the incident to the dating site. But continue to be on your guard and don't engage him further under any circumstances. He doesn't sound stable. At first I thought maybe he was diabetic and having an episode, but it sounds spookier than that and you did try the food and beverage route without improvement. The thing about the 30 arrests is nuts. If he has been arrested that often, that's terrible, and if he hasn't and lies about it that's just plain weird. I know someone who comes out with outlandish statements like that from time to time — gross exaggerations and outright lies — and he has mental problems and is sometimes dangerous.
Do, by all means, google yourself and try to get personal information about your home and contact info deleted if at all possible. It's a lot of work, but worth it. I got myself off many of the more intrusive ones like US Search, Intelius, People Finder, the White Pages, etc., that linked my name to my address. I know there are also sites where you can have fake information about yourself posted on the web to create confusion as to who you are. I've never known anyone who has done that but I understand it's a popular way to divert attention from your real web presence. I have trouble trusting that kind of thing, personally.
You don't have to do everything suggested here, but some of these precautions might be good for you to try if you really want to improve your privacy. How to Delete Yourself from the Internet: 12 Steps
Always heed The Ramones and don't go down to the basement:
It sounds like the guy was displaying symptoms of mania or psychosis: being up to 4 am for no legitimate reason, disorganized thought processes, impulsiveness and aggressiveness. It would also explain why he's been arrested so many times (though there may be some exaggeration here) and remains unemployed.
I think you've gotten some pretty good advice and have also taken appropriate precautions yourself. This is all very disturbing but I'm glad no harm came to you.
Take care.
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