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My grandparents have 3 sons (my uncles and my father). These past two years there has been a huge turnaround in the hypocritical happy family image.
My eldest uncle (61 years old) left his wife for a woman 20 years younger and he has been living with her while staying married to my aunt.
The other uncle (59 years old) had been having an affair with a younger woman for 3 years and finally divorced. They want to have a child!
My father (57 years old) and mother are going ahead with divorce. My mother filled for divorce two weeks ago and it's going to be a hard journey because they have so many assets together.
My grandmother, who's very religious, says the worst in her life started two years ago. She refuses to meet her new daughters-in-law because she says 'only the first one counts'. The huge Christimas family dinners ended because everyone is separated. My grandfather says he couldn't care less, they know what they want to do.
The good thing is that there are no children involved. My brother and cousins are all at least 30 years old. I'm the youngest (22).
My grandparents had a similar hard year - two of their sons divorced.
My grandmother supported my mother, going with her to the divorce hearing, because she thought her son was an idiot. It took years to repair their relationship. We continued to have the big family holidays, but women weren't allowed unless the son was really serious about her. I am not sure what she would have done if there had been ongoing affairs like in your family.
My grandmother continued to maintain loving relationships with the first wives, and for the last few years she has spent Christmas with my mother (18 years post-divorce; my father is now deceased). She also learned to love the second (and third) wives, but made it clear to each of them that she would not give up her relationship with her former daughter in laws.
Divorce is not easy for anyone. It affects a wide range of people well outside the feuding couple. Hugs to you - hope that you are able to handle the turmoil okay.
They're all adults. They have a right to pursue happier times with perhaps someone new. We only live once. It's not in anyone's place (ie. grandma) to dictate who should be with whom.
No, but grandma gets to dictate who she wants to associate with. If she doesn't approve of an extramarital affair, she doesn't have to spend time with the people involved in that affair. Her sons get to choose.
They're all adults. They have a right to pursue happier times with perhaps someone new. We only live once. It's not in anyone's place (ie. grandma) to dictate who should be with whom.
Of course, that's not the question. I posted the question in general, I just described a specific situation.
No, but grandma gets to dictate who she wants to associate with. If she doesn't approve of an extramarital affair, she doesn't have to spend time with the people involved in that affair. Her sons get to choose.
My grandmother absolutely loves her "original" DIL. She and my mother get along very, very well, my mother won the lottery when it comes to a MIL.
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