Do you hold grudges on people from high school still? (socialize, toxic)
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And I don't go about fuming in anger over even the extreme case I described. I just have no interest in friendly reconnecting, with unrepentant rapists, no matter how many years ago it was. There is enough "grudge" left in me to shut them out and want nothing to do with them, since justice is not possible.
I'd feel the same way if I had known someone who, say, tortured animals or something. There are some things I just don't forgive, that's all.
If that is sad and petty of me, then so be it. I'm a little judgmental when it comes to such things.
But I'd never go to a HS reunion anyhow. I attended 4 different schools, and moved many times, and now live across the country from where I grew up. I am connected by social media to only a handful of my former classmates, and we never talk. I have many friends, just not from that period of my life.
What you described is horrible, reprehensible behavior, and rises above "holding a grudge" territory. Most of the talk here though is holding a grudge simply against those they perceived to be the snooty popular cheerleader/jock crowd...now decades older. "Boo hoo, Janey Jumpsuit never gave me the time of day back in 1974, I'm never gonna let that go and Janey can just suck it up and deal with me never coming to a reunion!!"
What you described is horrible, reprehensible behavior, and rises above "holding a grudge" territory. Most of the talk here though is holding a grudge simply against those they perceived to be the snooty popular cheerleader/jock crowd...now decades older. "Boo hoo, Janey Jumpsuit never gave me the time of day back in 1974, I'm never gonna let that go and Janey can just suck it up and deal with me never coming to a reunion!!"
...ah.
Sorry, guess that is hard for me to imagine.
Although I can confess to a little bit of petty smuggery when I found out a boy I'd dated in high school, who dumped me for a girl I didn't like and set off a pretty angsty time for my moody, broody goth teenage self, is not really doing all that well as an adult. Gained weight, lost his hair, has a dead end job, divorced, just really blah life...and compare his present to some of the successes I've enjoyed and the awesome experiences I've lived and my generally happy existence.
I know it's mere coincidence, but some things feel like karma, y'know? When you find out the popular kids who treated you badly, went on to become loser adults, it's not quite a grudge, but you do get a smidge of satisfaction from that, I think.
...ah.
Although I can confess to a little bit of petty smuggery when I found out a boy I'd dated in high school, who dumped me for a girl I didn't like and set off a pretty angsty time for my moody, broody goth teenage self, is not really doing all that well as an adult. Gained weight, lost his hair, has a dead end job, divorced, just really blah life...and compare his present to some of the successes I've enjoyed and the awesome experiences I've lived and my generally happy existence.
I know it's mere coincidence, but some things feel like karma, y'know? When you find out the popular kids who treated you badly, went on to become loser adults, it's not quite a grudge, but you do get a smidge of satisfaction from that, I think.
I think it's okay to not feel sorry for them, and I think it's okay to even laugh about them.
What you described is horrible, reprehensible behavior, and rises above "holding a grudge" territory. Most of the talk here though is holding a grudge simply against those they perceived to be the snooty popular cheerleader/jock crowd...now decades older. "Boo hoo, Janey Jumpsuit never gave me the time of day back in 1974, I'm never gonna let that go and Janey can just suck it up and deal with me never coming to a reunion!!"
And it's perfectly okay for them to feel that way, no matter how strongly someone else disapproves of their feelings.
I never had any issues with people in high school so no grudges. In fact, I am still friends with many and very good friends with a few. They know me best and love me anyway. :-)
I know it's mere coincidence, but some things feel like karma, y'know? When you find out the popular kids who treated you badly, went on to become loser adults, it's not quite a grudge, but you do get a smidge of satisfaction from that, I think.
Ha, ha. Karma I get but it for me it is for other adults who are way out of school, lol.
I also get what you mean about truly "bad/mean" people from school. No I wouldn't want to be friends with them but that is not a grudge. To me that would be common sense. I have no use for either toxic or bad people in my life but I also don't think about or waste my time on them.
If it "is" minor stupid HS stuff then yeah people should let it go. In the scheme of life it is just not that important. It's unhealthy and unproductive to carry baggage like grudges around. Move on.
I know a guy who looks up criminal records of people he went to H.S. with and posts it on social media on his personal page. He does this on a fairly regular basis. A lot of it is DWIs, domestic violence arrests, assault and battery, etc.
I know a guy who looks up criminal records of people he went to H.S. with and posts it on social media on his personal page. He does this on a fairly regular basis. A lot of it is DWIs, domestic violence arrests, assault and battery, etc.
How sad.
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