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I decided to surprise my partner at her job by sending some flowers to her today. Then I came and pulled her out of her job. Her higher up was very cool and let me snag her. I know him because he is a common customer at the auto shop I help run. Anyway, I surprised her by taking her out to Fleming's Steakhouse tonight which I had a reservation planned.
We arrived at the restaurant. If you guys aren't familiar with Fleming's it is more of an "upscale" restaurant where you dress formal but I just decided to where nicely pressed jeans with a nice shirt (not collared though). None of the whole overly formal suit and slack stuff though my partner dressed lovely then again she came to the restaurant straight from work. She stayed back to go grab something she forgot when walking up so I walked in by myself.
I stood there waiting to be brought to our table but the frontman asked whether "we had lost our way". I politely said no but before I could say anything else, he interrupted me and requested security to see me out. My partner walks in asking what is going on. The security officer and the manager came up to the front and asked what was going on. The frontman was like "this......man won't leave the restaurant". I told the manager that I had a reservation. He asked me whether the doorman requested my name for a reservation and I asked the doorman did he. The doorman said yes. The manager told him not to lie because the camera already recorded the entire thing. He then confessed that he didn't so I gave the manager my name and he pulled up the reservation and apologized. He then sat us to a more private table and told us our meal was on the house.
I was embarrassed and felt bad for my girl who had to go through all that to be honest. I just wanted to be spontaneous and have a good evening with her. Without being part of a scene in front the other patrons. I made sure to get the biggest steak on the menu and a bottle of wine. I took the plate of leftovers home with a few toothpicks and boy was it good. I did see the frontman get called over by the manager but I don't know what happened to him. The manager did mention that this wasn't his first time doing this. It's a pity that was. Anybody else been prejudge by anyone ever?
We arrived at the restaurant. If you guys aren't familiar with Fleming's it is more of an "upscale" restaurant where you dress formal but I just decided to where nicely pressed jeans with a nice shirt (not collared though).
You knew it was a place where you are supposed to dress appropriately, yet you showed up in jeans and not even a collared shirt?
You asked for the treatment you received. Restaurants are private businesses. They are within their rights not to bend their rules for people who think themselves too special to obey. Good for them. You're just lucky that employee messed up, or you'd have been finding another place to eat.
Next time, maybe you'll do the right thing, and not expect the world to make exceptions for you.
Nope there were other people wearing jeans and t-shirts as well. Most were wearing formal clothing but many others were wearing more casual stuff.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110
You knew it was a place where you are supposed to dress appropriately, yet you showed up in jeans and not even a collared shirt?
You asked for the treatment you received. Restaurants are private businesses. They are within their rights not to bend their rules for people who think themselves too special to obey. Good for them. You're just lucky that employee messed up, or you'd have been finding another place to eat.
Next time, maybe you'll do the right thing, and not expect the world to make exceptions for you.
It's not a rule at all. Patrons just tend to dress formally.
You knew it was a place where you are supposed to dress appropriately, yet you showed up in jeans and not even a collared shirt?
You asked for the treatment you received. Restaurants are private businesses. They are within their rights not to bend their rules for people who think themselves too special to obey. Good for them. You're just lucky that employee messed up, or you'd have been finding another place to eat.
Next time, maybe you'll do the right thing, and not expect the world to make exceptions for you.
Absolutely not the OP's fault. Even if someone walks into a restaurant not dressed up he/she should be treated with respect. I would be livid if that happened.
We arrived at the restaurant. If you guys aren't familiar with Fleming's it is more of an "upscale" restaurant where you dress formal but I just decided to where nicely pressed jeans with a nice shirt (not collared though).
The conventional wisdom, which you admit, is that it is a place where people dress up. You CHOSE to buck the trend.
HOWEVER ...
The point of manners is to make people feel comfortable, not to wield power. The maitre'd was wrong, and it looks like he was punished for it. The restaurant manager went out of the way to make it right.
If you're gonna CHOOSE to be a rebel, you are not allowed to care whether others judge you.
The conventional wisdom, which you admit, is that it is a place where people dress up. You CHOSE to buck the trend.
HOWEVER ...
The point of manners is to make people feel comfortable, not to wield power. The maitre'd was wrong, and it looks like he was punished for it. The restaurant manager went out of the way to make it right.
If you're gonna CHOOSE to be a rebel, you are not allowed to care whether others judge you.
No duh I chose to buck the trend (I didn't feel like having to redress) but that does mean I'm allowed to care about not being judged. The money they normally charge is overpriced but money I was still willing to pay hence my reservation plus it isn't his job as indicated to me by the manager. He is supposed to welcome and ask for reservation confirmation of some sort. Then he will summon a waiter to take care of us. He didn't do any of that. He asked whether I was lost and called for security.
His job is not to prejudge and think we are out of place like I have some reason to get lost and walk into a restaurant. Seriously? I wasn't the only one in fact a sizable amount of patrons were dressed casually. There is no rule. It is a trend. Just because one may choose to be a sheep and dress like everyone else does doesn't mean that one who doesn't should be judged especially when I didn't look disheveled or like I just got out of bed. Either I was wrong or he was wrong. You can't really straddle the fence on this one.
Everyone is judged for some reason at some time or another. That you were judged by the clothes you were wearing is no surprise to most of us and should not be to you, either.
My husband and I frequently went to Atlantic City and mostly gambled in one casino. After a number of times winning (coming home with more cash than when we arrived), we found ourselves having earned the status of "high rollers" - which only meant we had a few perks; one of those being a "special" check-in line for hotel rooms. We are casual dressers, although jeans are not in our wardrobe, except when cleaning out the basement, digging ditches, etc. There is a person whose job it is to see that the average joe doesn't get him/herself into the "special peoples" line and yet every time we went, he told us we were in the wrong line. Nope, didn't ask. We ignored him most times. But one time he got a little pushy and we had to pull out our vip cards. He actually seemed disappointed! So, it happens.
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