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Wow, just traveling to northern Wisconsin in the winter can be dangerous. I remember the Christmas when the temperature (not the wind chill) but the actual temperature in my North-Central Wisconsin home town was 25 below zero. I recall that there were several deaths due the cold weather. Just imagine if you slid off the road into the ditch in temperatures like that! Just walking a short distance to get help would be serious business.
Perhaps, consider a summer reunion or one at Easter instead of at Christmas time. If you desire you can even decorate (a little) or exchange gifts or just skip that part.
That might be a good idea. The way airline flights are delayed and cancelled for bad winter storms and highways can be trecherous to drive, it could be better to skip Christmas travel and meet up in the summer. That's what I did.
RV's and camping trailers can be a whole lot of fun because you have your own space. You can use them in the winter - I just used mine up in Colorado where it was quite cold but it's a good idea to winterize them and leave them winterized. Just traveling, everything can freeze up quickly. You don't HAVE to use the water hookups, sewer lines probably wouldn't freeze. We rented a campground space and used the showers and bathrooms there.
I was never one to follow "traditions". I do what I feel like. If you don't feel like doing something for 3 yrs in a row, simply don't do it & don't let anyone make you feel guilty about it, it's as simple as that!
Once our kids came along, we hosted Christmas, it was just easier all around but we were only about 1.5-2 hrs away so it was doable - if we didn't see them Christmas Day, we usually made it for the wkend before or after. I think young kids are better off at home esp for their 1st, 2nd, 3rd Christmases anyway, no reason to have a big group over at the same time (am not a glutton for punishment, lol). Would definitely not be comfortable sleeping in such close quarters, IMO it's a bit too much togetherness which gets old fast, I just don't think I'd enjoy the situation and understandably, they probably wouldn't either (although prob wouldn't say so). Jmo
I did talk to my wife yesterday, and she ended up discussing with her sister. SIL and her husband had been having similar thoughts. I didn't mention, but her husband works as a nurse (which can mean tough work hours). Had to work until about 3 PM Christmas Eve, then they drove up. Made it to the in-laws' around 7 PM. Had to leave the next day around 11 AM so they could make more family gatherings. SIL apparently noted they spent more time sleeping than actually spending time with others (both were understandably exhausted).
My wife and SIL are going to talk with their mom and try to get their feelings. Stress has definitely been an issue in the past. I forgot to mention, but two years my MIL ended up staying over night in the hospital due to a stress/panic attack she got while shopping before Christmas. Thankfully BIL was with her at the time. Obviously, it has been a burden for her, and maybe with how things went this year, it will be the impetus for a change in schedule/planning.
I was really debating if I should post about this, but here goes.
My wife and I have been married ten years. We have a son who is just over two years old. Our annual Christmas tradition is to drive to her parents on the 23rd, and drive back home on Christmas Day. That is just how it has always worked out. The trip is about four hours, one way.
Her mom started hosting the Christmas gatherings about twelve years ago, after her own mother's health declined and she was moved to a senior care home (before eventually passing away). They have a small three bedroom ranch home. We stay in one small bedroom with our son, and my sister-in-law and her husband stay in another bedroom. Their brother (who is living at home right now) relocates to a partially finished room in the basement, along with one of his cousins. Another aunt and uncle stay in the living room...yeah, it's pretty cramped, and there's only one bathroom.
Christmas Eve consists of over 20 people crammed into this house. I spent much of the evening on my feet, due to lack of chairs.
The trip this year really got to me. We got there, and the house wasn't clean or picked up at all. Now, my in-laws aren't much for house keeping, so this wasn't a shock. However, they now have two really nice dogs...who both shed a lot. I'm not just talking a bit of hair...they shed A LOT. Did I mention I have allergies? They did get around to vacuuming a bit, after we had already arrived.
Our room wasn't done up at all. Bed unmade, stuff piled up in one half of the road. I admit, I asked my wife a bit sarcastically "Where's our son going to sleep?"
Mother-in-law got home from work and exclaimed "We're not ready for Christmas!" I helped unload her car, which was full of groceries. No big deal at this point. There's wasn't much room in the kitchen to put all the stuff, though.
Christmas morning, we unwrapped gifts. My in-laws are not well off, but I'm starting to wonder if they're having some financial issues beyond the normal, though I'm not sure what it could be as they have the same income they've had for several years and their home is paid off.
The reason I bring this up is that they gave our son a stocking full of a few very meager gifts. This included some prepackaged store bought cookies and a couple other things. Now, don't get me wrong...I'm not expecting much. They don't have to do anything. I get it. But this is their only grandchild, and they gave him a few small items, and a couple of those "Brainquest" (age appropriate) flash card games. My mother-in-law told me beforehand, "We didn't do much for gifts this year," as if to caution me. I shrugged it off at the time.
I get it...he's only two years old, it doesn't matter. It's just...well, I think most grandparents do a bit more for their only grandchild.
I wonder if they're tired of hosting Christmas. I brought it up to my wife today, and told her maybe she should talk with them before next year comes around.
Any thoughts would be appreciated. Family and the holidays are such a delicate thing.
I'm not big on putting too much weight on holidays. My brother and I got into it once and I asked him where the hell he was the other 364 days of the year?
However. Just before Thanksgiving my brother's wife was up here to get her father's affairs in order although she had no relationship with him - he was about to croak in the hospital after being drug addict all his life.
Her son, my nephew, and first grandchild, is an extremely loving boy and wanted to meet him and move back up here to go to school. He even called me the week before to see if he could live with me and for a number of reasons I will not discuss here I couldn't.
He had his wisdom teeth pulled, and my brother put him on a plane to come up here - it was the last time he saw him alive.
What dentists don't warn you about is alcohol consumption when you have a tooth pulled. They don't sew them up like they used to because of infection. He had these gaping wounds and had a couple drinks. Instead of being filtered by the body it went directly 100 proof into his blood stream through where the tooth was pulled when he was out with his friends here. On Thanksgiving his mother found her son dead and literally pissed her pants.
Pulled tooth or not - you never know when the last time you will have a holiday with your loved ones. From there on out Holidays have become something of dread.
I used to have Christmas in my small two bedroom house and made it work. I remember them being fun even though stuff got broken, my nephew licked all the icing off the cookies and put them back on the platter. All kinds of stuff. I'd take that over the type of Christmas' we have now. Do the best you can and work with it....you just never know and cherish all those wretched memories with a sense of humor.
An appropriate xmas gift for a 2 year old is a couple wrapping paper cardboard tubes for toys, and maybe a few clothes. My grandfather gave me a silver dollar every christmas from the time I was born. I still have them.
Inviting yourself to stay in an overcrowded house, hosted by people who work full time, is rude and inconsiderate.
If you think your child needs xmas presents, buy them yourself. Adults do not need xmas presents.
An appropriate xmas gift for a 2 year old is a couple wrapping paper cardboard tubes for toys, and maybe a few clothes. My grandfather gave me a silver dollar every christmas from the time I was born. I still have them.
Inviting yourself to stay in an overcrowded house, hosted by people who work full time, is rude and inconsiderate.
If you think your child needs xmas presents, buy them yourself. Adults do not need xmas presents.
I'm not going to indulge your post with any further response. Nice try though.
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