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Yes. Let her know you remember that spontaneous moment and treasure it. Tell her that it was one of those always moments. She may feel she has no worth to you. Tell her that your personality did the 180 because of her. You told us - have you ever told her? Make a few "emotional" transactions, rather than just monetary. Just try it.
Jumping out here on a limb - is she mercenary because that's the only validation she gets? You have made several comments as to her good looks - and I have no doubt that you have told her that - but maybe she would like to be valued for more.
Yes, I need to thank her because, in a social way, she turned me from a popper to a prince. It wasn't that I was anti-social or anything, but I saw these parties as " what's the point"? events. Yes, I do tell her everyday for what its worth, that she's beautiful or gorgeous, I try to keep it age appropriate and classy and keep " sexy" and " hot" out of my vocabulary.
Yes, I need to thank her because, in a social way, she turned me from a popper to a prince. It wasn't that I was anti-social or anything, but I saw these parties as " what's the point"? events. Yes, I do tell her everyday for what its worth, that she's beautiful or gorgeous, I try to keep it age appropriate and classy and keep " sexy" and " hot" out of my vocabulary.
No, you missed my whole point, which was to validate her for something beyond her looks. Read my post again.
I did bring up everything to her and how awesome she was bringing out of my shell at 14 and how I appreciate how she raised him. I brought up the “ rain” story and that was a fun flashback for her. She brought up Valentine’s day ’97. I missed her a lot and she called and asked if I was coming home. I decided to surprise her so I told her “ I can’t I have 3 papers, 2 tests, and work. I’m so sorry”. I really only had 1 two page paper. I took off work, bought flowers and candy, and drove home. I sat out in the hallway of the apartment building and called the home phone( on my old school Nokia) and knocked on the door and half way through the call as I’m knocking on the door( IDK how she didn’t hear me talking when I was just on the other side of the door) I tell you “ You should answer that door.” She opened the door and she was brought to tears. He ended up eating most of the chocolate and grew tired of wearing his pajama shirt and mom became a jungle gym.
I did bring up everything to her and how awesome she was bringing out of my shell at 14 and how I appreciate how she raised him. I brought up the “ rain” story and that was a fun flashback for her. She brought up Valentine’s day ’97. I missed her a lot and she called and asked if I was coming home. I decided to surprise her so I told her “ I can’t I have 3 papers, 2 tests, and work. I’m so sorry”. I really only had 1 two page paper. I took off work, bought flowers and candy, and drove home. I sat out in the hallway of the apartment building and called the home phone( on my old school Nokia) and knocked on the door and half way through the call as I’m knocking on the door( IDK how she didn’t hear me talking when I was just on the other side of the door) I tell you “ You should answer that door.” She opened the door and she was brought to tears. He ended up eating most of the chocolate and grew tired of wearing his pajama shirt and mom became a jungle gym.
How did you feel that went overall? Was there a re-connection? I noticed that she brought it up - that's good. She remembers it in a good way.
That was 17 years ago. Do you not have any more recent positive memories you could bring up?
Our 10 year anniversary was pretty romantic in 2006. I took us, or her, however you want to word it, to Maui. We dropped him off with my parents and we went to Maui.
Our 10 year anniversary was pretty romantic in 2006. I took us, or her, however you want to word it, to Maui. We dropped him off with my parents and we went to Maui.
[quote=afoigrokerkok;34416145]That was 17 years ago. Do you not have any more recent positive memories you could bring up?[/quote]
Quote:
Originally Posted by afoigrokerkok
Anything that wasn't expensive?
I am not sure if this is the type of thing that other posters meant but I will give you some examples from my marriage of things that my husband did for me or said to me. That may get you started thinking.
These are all things that happened within the last week.
Normally I give the dog a quick walk before I leave for work. My husband ( is disabled and unable to work) woke up and said that he would walk the dog that morning because he noticed how much pain I was in due to my arthritis (I must have been moaning whenever I moved in bed during the night). He also told me how much he appreciated that I was going to work. (I'm actually disabled, as well, but needed to return to work because we need the money).
While I took a nap after work my husband said that he would buy the groceries so I could rest. I told him to buy something for dinner. I woke up at dinner time and discovered that he had neglected to purchase anything that could possibly be used as a quick meal. When he realized that he offered to make frozen fish & shrimp for dinner. It tasted great.
Yesterday he commented that my green shirt really brings out the green in my eyes.
We had a consultation with a dental surgeon on Monday. To make a long, horrible story short my husband needs $10,000 worth of dental work and we still owe $3,000 for previous dental work (we do not have dental insurance). Part of this is due to some of his health problems but it is mainly due to the fact that he has been a life long smoker. I cried all of the way home because we can barely pay our bills now and there is no way that we can come up with $13,000 extra money.My husband immediately quit smoking (to save the money that he normally used to buy cigarettes) and maybe by not smoking he would be able to put off the dental surgery/getting dentures for a few months or a maybe a year or two. He also called a dental school to see if he would quality for their lower cost services.
He said that he loved me just as much as the first time that he saw me and held my hands (it was "love at first sight/touch for both of us").
He thanked me for doing the taxes every year.
One day this week I had a bad situation at work, my husband listened to me vent and then gave me a few suggestions in case I wanted to pursue the issue.
My husband injects my medication into my tummy because I hate needles.
Irish, of course you need to think of compliments and memories that relate to your wife and your marriage but I thought that by reading a few that a typical husband gave to or did for a typical wife (me) it may give you some ideas. Good luck.
Last edited by germaine2626; 04-18-2014 at 09:01 AM..
All of the truly romantic non-expensive things happened between the ages of 14- when I got out of ND. But after that, most things were expensive.
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