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Even more reason for you guys to step up the mentoring.
Oh, and tell your wife the time for parenting has long since come and gone.
I agree, he should get a job. But then that causes fights. He wants a job though, he's told me he's ready. Mom isn't. This is basically how the conversation would go down.
Him: Mom I want a job.
Her: No
Him: C'mon
Her: No.
Me: He told me he was ready.
Her: He's not getting a job. * looks at me * united front back me up.
Me: ( to her): Why not unite on my front.
Her: ( at some point either during or after the fight): Oh, just because you're the man in the house you make all of the decisions. You're such a ( misogynist, chauvinist, caveman, etc)
Last edited by irishfan77; 01-19-2014 at 12:22 PM..
I agree, he should get a job. But then that causes fights. He wants a job though, he's told me he's ready. Mom isn't. This is basically how the conversation would go down.
Him: Mom I want a job.
Her: No
Him: C'mon
Her: No.
Me: He told me he was ready.
Her: He's not getting a job. * looks at me * united front back me up.
Me: ( to her): Why not unite on my front.
Her: ( at some point either during or after the fight): Oh, just because you're the man in the house you make all of the decisions. You're such a ( misogynist, chauvinist, caveman, etc)
Okay then, so you guys clearly have family and boundary issues.
Stop wasting your time here and make an appt with a family therapist right away.
You and your wife are not functioning as a team and your son is paying the price by not being properly prepared to live as an adult.
After skimming through the other threads - the one I feel sorry for is the son. I hope he escapes the misery of this family soon. The OP will obviously be in this co-dependent drama reality show for the rest of his life, through preference - but the son has no choice. I sincerely hope HE gets therapy in order not to perpetuate this fiasco masquerading as a family. Jeez
After skimming through the other threads - the one I feel sorry for is the son. I hope he escapes the misery of this family soon. The OP will obviously be in this co-dependent drama reality show for the rest of his life, through preference - but the son has no choice. I sincerely hope HE gets therapy in order not to perpetuate this fiasco masquerading as a family. Jeez
We did the therapy. My relationship with him got much better, my relationship with her( even though she hardly went) got better. His relationship with her has diminished I'm sorry to say
The wife should get off the passive aggressive merry go round and tell the girlfriend exactly how she (the wife) feels about her (the girlfriend). Perhaps the girlfriend, seeing what she is in for and how harshly she is being judged by this shallow woman (I've seen no mention of the girlfriends character other than her looks and that she drinks 'more' than the other one....what's 'more' and why does it even matter, the other one still drank) will be able to make the wise decision for herself. Hopefully if the wife is forthcoming about her lowly opinion of this girl, the girlfriend will make the right choice and protect herself from being saddled with the son and his mother for the next 18 years.
Okay then, so you guys clearly have family and boundary issues.
Stop wasting your time here and make an appt with a family therapist right away.
You and your wife are not functioning as a team and your son is paying the price by not being properly prepared to live as an adult.
Quote:
Originally Posted by irishfan77
We did the therapy. My relationship with him got much better, my relationship with her( even though she hardly went) got better. His relationship with her has diminished I'm sorry to say
Do you guys think its that she doesn't want him to grow up? one of my sessions with the therapist revolved around this question. Obviously it's a common thing. I think she still wants him to be 4 years old running around shirtless trying to get her attention.
Since when does a 19-year-old need his mom's permission to get a job? Many WWII vets who had families and combat experience by that age would laugh their asses off at the "problems" irishfan posts here.
Do you guys think its that she doesn't want him to grow up? one of my sessions with the therapist revolved around this question. Obviously it's a common thing. I think she still wants him to be 4 years old running around shirtless trying to get her attention.
I'm sorry guys, but just sticking to this thread and some of the other's I've read, this issue here is not as uncommon as people think it is.
Typically it happens with the mother to her first born, her last male son, or the only one. Many fathers react like this regarding their daughters. Did any of you see the movie "Meet the Parents" in which this very thing was what the movie was about?
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