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I can't seem to help myself but when something bothers, annoys, or confuses me, I talk about it.
If someone annoys me or I feel something this unfair, I try to find a sympathetic ear.
And I do this at work.
I know I shouldn't, but when I need to talk, I REALLY need to talk about whatever it is I'm going through. It's almost like I can't move on with my life until I work out whatever issue I'm going through.
Also, I'm not young, I'm close to 50 so you would think I know better how to deal with stuff.
Any advice on how to shut my mouth and not let things bother me?
Maybe you need to understand what is in your circle of influence, or what exactly you have control over and what you do NOT have control over.
What is the point of endlessly complaining about something you can't really do anything about?
You also need to consider using self-control to FILTER your comments. Just because you have a thought does not mean you need to express it.
It's good that you recognize this because it is a serious problem that could cost you your job. You also don't want to be "that woman" people begin to avoid because she won't shut up.
There's nothing wrong with "talking things out" when you have a problem. What would be best is to have a small group of designated people to be your "sympathetic ears," people who are trustworthy and genuine towards you. It sounds like you're talking to just about anyone who will listen, which could be a disaster. I totally understand your need to talk at work because I've been through a lot of drama and stupidity at my workplace in a few short years.
I can't seem to help myself but when something bothers, annoys, or confuses me, I talk about it.
If someone annoys me or I feel something this unfair, I try to find a sympathetic ear.
And I do this at work.
I know I shouldn't, but when I need to talk, I REALLY need to talk about whatever it is I'm going through. It's almost like I can't move on with my life until I work out whatever issue I'm going through.
Also, I'm not young, I'm close to 50 so you would think I know better how to deal with stuff.
Any advice on how to shut my mouth and not let things bother me?
Instead of talking to anyone about anything especially at work do something else when you feel the need to talk. Especially when it is a complaint about someone you work with.
I used to go to the river and throw rocks when I had a tough day at work but I've never been one to have the need to talk to anyone unless it was my Mother.
Instead of talking to anyone about anything especially at work do something else when you feel the need to talk. Especially when it is a complaint about someone you work with.
I used to go to the river and throw rocks when I had a tough day at work but I've never been one to have the need to talk to anyone unless it was my Mother.
Maybe you need to understand what is in your circle of influence, or what exactly you have control over and what you do NOT have control over.
What is the point of endlessly complaining about something you can't really do anything about?
You also need to consider using self-control to FILTER your comments. Just because you have a thought does not mean you need to express it.
It's good that you recognize this because it is a serious problem that could cost you your job. You also don't want to be "that woman" people begin to avoid because she won't shut up.
This is absolutely true, especially the bolded part. If you get a reputation as being a gossip or a pot-stirrer it will hurt your chances for advancement at work. I worked with a friend who is like this and found out the hard way never to tell her anything I didn't want the whole world to know. She is still a friend and a valuable person in my life, but I still don't tell her anything in confidence even though I've moved on from that job. At conferences I run into people who know her and frequently one of their first comments is "Man, she's smart but *such* a gossip!" It has hurt her professionally.
Also, you'll drive yourself crazy agonizing over things. Something you obsessed over for hours, I can almost guarantee the other person won't even remember the interaction.
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