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I agree - a simple, "Hi" isn't going to kill anyone. It's rude to ignore a neighbor who is simply being polite, or pretend they don't exist.
Of course, if the neighbors are younger, they are probably fairly socially inept, anyway -- text messaging has done that to them, they don't understand the social nuances of give and take, and don't think twice about ignoring a verbal greeting, just as they would a text message they didn't feel like responding to. Perhaps you should try texting them. :-)
Im not the neighborly type , and prefer to say nothing at the mail box
I also avoid eye contact, same as standing in line at a grocery store, just get my groceries / mail and get out
not interested in being your friend and answering personal questions or talking about the weather
I'm a lifelong Texan, can chew the small-talk, "how are you doing?" fat with the best of 'em but I wholeheartedly respect folks like you, don't expect for one moment that you or anyone else should pretend to be someone you're not. It's all about respecting boundaries.
OP's topic specifies Small Talk, his post indicates he wants to talk about things like the weather. That's way different from saying hello and accepting hello in response. I'm quite sure that if he'd left his approach to "hello", his neighbors would have responded in kind.
Plus I've read the OP's numerous other threads and posts on the topic and it's obvious he's not inclined to stop at hello. I don't blame his neighbors for ducking and running.
Yes, they also concede they will accept a "Good afternoon" at a minimum later in the post. I am certain they are not always at their mailboxes at the same exact time each day either. So this is not a daily occurence.
It is a sign of the times that neighbors will duck and run these days. You are right about that. It used to be considered at least a lack of etiquette if not a little rude if repeated. I just hope they don't need jumper cable assistance for their car from their neighbors some day or their newspaper and mail picked up when they are on vacation.
It is a sign of the times that neighbors will duck and run these days. You are right about that. It used to be considered at least a lack of etiquette if not a little rude if repeated. I just hope they don't need jumper cable assistance for their car from their neighbors some day or their newspaper and mail picked up when they are on vacation.
I would be very grateful if random people who just happened to be my neighbors in apartment complex left me alone. I would say "hi" just because I spent last 9 years of my life in a village where people are obsessed with small talk about nothing, probably being bored to death with all this life, so I'm trained in local style of politeness. I would not expect anything more than a nod from people in DC, NY and other east-coast cities, though, and after a while I would remember who nods and who doesn't, and would stop greeting last ones.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,748,461 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by biscuitmom
You're retired, bored, and lonely. They've just spent the last 8+ hours at work making obligatory small talk and exchanging yada yada comments about the weather, plus all the stresses of jobs and traffic in DC. Not to mention they likely have spouses, children, and/or other relatives demanding their attention. Give them a break - smile nicely at them while you're collecting your mail, wish them a good evening, then invite other retired or nonworking friends over for dinner to satisfy your need for superficial conversation. Or move to a senior complex where your neighbors will be equally bored and lonely.
8 hours at work? 8 is the exception rather than the rule. Most of my peers log at least 9.5 hours on an average. I work about 42 per week and consider myself lucky. Since I am in graduate school, I have two nights a week where it will be at least 14 hours before I darken the grounds at my building again after leaving at 7am. On those days, i'm a zombie who don't really see other people, I'm just focused on getting to my apt and my bed.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,748,461 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by chessgeek
Yes, they also concede they will accept a "Good afternoon" at a minimum later in the post. I am certain they are not always at their mailboxes at the same exact time each day either. So this is not a daily occurence.
It is a sign of the times that neighbors will duck and run these days. You are right about that. It used to be considered at least a lack of etiquette if not a little rude if repeated. I just hope they don't need jumper cable assistance for their car from their neighbors some day or their newspaper and mail picked up when they are on vacation.
Neighbors still do this? I have roadside assistance through my insurance so they will take care of any jump starts. Who has a print newspaper subscription these days? And I have my mail held through USPS for any time I go on vacation.
I've lived in my apartment building for many years and I couldn't tell you a thing about my neighbors. That seems to be the norm around here. We might say hello in passing at the mailbox but that's about it. And yes, some will not even respond to a hello. Just shrug it off and go on with your day.
But would it kill you to say "hello" back to someone who says, "Hello, nice to see you"?
Well, to quote the Beatles in Abby Way " You say hello and I say goodbye". Ruth, there are some days that saying hello to me *might* be taking your life in your hands. My neighbors don't know me and I prefer to KEEP it that way...
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I'm a lifelong Texan, can chew the small-talk, "how are you doing?" fat with the best of 'em but I wholeheartedly respect folks like you, don't expect for one moment that you or anyone else should pretend to be someone you're not. It's all about respecting boundaries.
