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I think someone can have a reasonable, well-thought out response or opinion and then make the mistake of beginning it with, "You're stupid/fat/spoiled/communist/jerk/weirdo and you suck..." then go on to give their insight and/or opinion.
The thing is though, I read the insult part and then I just stop reading and taking that person seriously. If they call me an idiot or a rude name, why would I continue to listen to anything they have to say? Well, you wouldn't... no matter how great of a point they may have.
I agree, there is no need for name calling and rudeness. One trend I have noticed with the topics around CD is that posters tend to get hung onto certain details of a post and nitpick without answering the original question. If the topic was "I'm home from work today and I'm going to buy my wife a cake. Should I choose strawberry or chocolate?" the responses would avoid answering and would say, "Go to work. You're well enough to go out and buy cakes so why are you at home?" "Why not make her a cake?? You're home all day!" "We got our daughter a vanilla cake..." on and on, judgmental responses or responses that are posted to incite drama.
It's un-necessary.
Yeah I can imagine all the "responses" to that topic--"we don't eat cake in our house because it's bad for you, Americans eat way too much sugar and processed junk, why don't you get your wife a better gift instead of a cheapo cake, you must be some kind of lardbutt to obsess over cake flavors on the Internet!" I wish I were exaggerating but I can name a couple of members off the top of my head... With that said, I think CD is good at maintaining the forums and weeding out trouble-makers, though a few immature posters in particular slip through.
How I feel about name-calling on here is how I feel about in IRL. Whether you call me a name or someone else, anything else you have to say is scrolled over. And that "anything else" includes any subsequent posts with your name on it, anywhere in this forum.
As far as I can recall, there has only been one topic in which I have had to "put someone in their place" about, only because I have personal experience with the type of people about whom she was making blanket statements. Other times opinions are just opinions and can be dissected in a million ways, so why bother?
I try to avoid trolls but once in a while I cave in. The ones who get to me are those who ask for advice and either a. make a preemptive strike in the initial post ("I do not want to hear about 'xyz' because I've already tried that/you don't know the 'xyz' as well as I do!) or b. respond to advice by saying essentially, "that is not the kind of solution I was looking for!" People! They make me laugh!
Here is another senerio,
So, you've started a thread, and written down how you feel, about a subject, and people actually take the time, to come into that thread, and state, that you need to see a counselor, b/c they have no apptitude to understand a much bigger picture, that just b/c they don't understand your feelings, you must be wrong? I mean, how narrow minded is that?
I have seen a huge change in forums with people not only getting angrier, but actually argumentative....I mean, its really actually silly, that if a person cannot understand that all people do not think and feel alike....
also, if a person attacks your feelings, or how you think and what you believe in, then I'd say, they are the ones' with the problems...discussion is exactly that....and some of us simply have a hunger for knowledge, and like to discuss situations to find out how others feel, their input on situations, etc.
Here is another senerio,
So, you've started a thread, and written down how you feel, about a subject, and people actually take the time, to come into that thread, and state, that you need to see a counselor, b/c they have no apptitude to understand a much bigger picture, that just b/c they don't understand your feelings, you must be wrong? I mean, how narrow minded is that?
I have seen a huge change in forums with people not only getting angrier, but actually argumentative....I mean, its really actually silly, that if a person cannot understand that all people do not think and feel alike....
also, if a person attacks your feelings, or how you think and what you believe in, then I'd say, they are the ones' with the problems...discussion is exactly that....and some of us simply have a hunger for knowledge, and like to discuss situations to find out how others feel, their input on situations, etc.
I totally know how you feel. There is a certain poster on here who constantly does that, yet she has won contests!
I enjoy explaining my position on something just like the next person. Obviously, we think our point of view is better or more correct than the other persons.
I tend to ignore anyone who calls me a name whenever debating online. And when they wonder why I don't respond, I let them know that I don't feel like I should continue defending my position because they were rude and called me a name.
Where do you stand on this matter? Would you continue debating?
When I discuss things online, sometimes I think my point is more valid in some way, sometimes I don't. I consider debating something because you think your point of view is better or more correct to be arguing. I don't argue. What I think of the quality of my opinion or theirs is never the reason why I'm discussing something.
I like discussions because I think it's important for people to explore more than their point of view, more than my point of view, and why people have the points of view they have, which is pretty much the only reason my posts are as long as they are a lot of the time. I don't enjoy typing a lot, it's just for the sake of being thorough in exploring the different points I'm presenting.
Anyway, because of all of the above, the second it becomes clear to me that the person I'm talking to is now taking the matter personally or getting emotional about it, I no longer have any interest in the discussion because when people get upset, they become increasingly close-minded and one of the first signs of that is when they start slinging personal attacks, name-calling or otherwise, or being dismissive (see; rolling their eyes).
At that point, I'll give them my final response and be done with the conversation. I don't have the patience for prickly folk and I couldn't care less if a stranger on the web agrees with me or not, though I am sometimes amused when they think I care.
I agree with the person who said some need thicker skin. There are people who consider merely disagreeing with them to be an attack on them and their feelings. How can you have a rational discussion with someone at all if the second you say anything that contradicts what they think or what they want to hear, they accuse you of judging them or being nasty?
When I discuss things online, sometimes I think my point is more valid in some way, sometimes I don't. I consider debating something because you think your point of view is better or more correct to be arguing. I don't argue. What I think of the quality of my opinion or theirs is never the reason why I'm discussing something.
I like discussions because I think it's important for people to explore more than their point of view, more than my point of view, and why people have the points of view they have, which is pretty much the only reason my posts are as long as they are a lot of the time. I don't enjoy typing a lot, it's just for the sake of being thorough in exploring the different points I'm presenting.
Anyway, because of all of the above, the second it becomes clear to me that the person I'm talking to is now taking the matter personally or getting emotional about it, I no longer have any interest in the discussion because when people get upset, they become increasingly close-minded and one of the first signs of that is when they start slinging personal attacks, name-calling or otherwise, or being dismissive (see; rolling their eyes).
At that point, I'll give them my final response and be done with the conversation. I don't have the patience for prickly folk and I couldn't care less if a stranger on the web agrees with me or not, though I am sometimes amused when they think I care.
I agree with the person who said some need thicker skin. There are people who consider merely disagreeing with them to be an attack on them and their feelings. How can you have a rational discussion with someone at all if the second you say anything that contradicts what they think or what they want to hear, they accuse you of judging them or being nasty?
Answer: You don't lol
Very very good analysis....lol....enjoyed reading....I gotta tell you, when I first started writing on forums, I was that same person you speak of....lol, took everything as a personal attack, so I owe a whole lot to forums for my growth...OMG, and sometimes, some of the kindest people were trying to help me, but b/c I was unable to study their faces, while they were talking to me, I only read that they were purposely insulting me, when they were not. I have also learned somewhat how to write better so as not to offend, which is also very important....sometimes though, I don't always hold to it, b/c of the persons you speak of...lol
Very very good analysis....lol....enjoyed reading....I gotta tell you, when I first started writing on forums, I was that same person you speak of....lol, took everything as a personal attack, so I owe a whole lot to forums for my growth...OMG, and sometimes, some of the kindest people were trying to help me, but b/c I was unable to study their faces, while they were talking to me, I only read that they were purposely insulting me, when they were not. I have also learned somewhat how to write better so as not to offend, which is also very important....sometimes though, I don't always hold to it, b/c of the persons you speak of...lol
When I discuss things online, sometimes I think my point is more valid in some way, sometimes I don't. I consider debating something because you think your point of view is better or more correct to be arguing. I don't argue. What I think of the quality of my opinion or theirs is never the reason why I'm discussing something.
I like discussions because I think it's important for people to explore more than their point of view, more than my point of view, and why people have the points of view they have, which is pretty much the only reason my posts are as long as they are a lot of the time. I don't enjoy typing a lot, it's just for the sake of being thorough in exploring the different points I'm presenting.
Anyway, because of all of the above, the second it becomes clear to me that the person I'm talking to is now taking the matter personally or getting emotional about it, I no longer have any interest in the discussion because when people get upset, they become increasingly close-minded and one of the first signs of that is when they start slinging personal attacks, name-calling or otherwise, or being dismissive (see; rolling their eyes).
At that point, I'll give them my final response and be done with the conversation. I don't have the patience for prickly folk and I couldn't care less if a stranger on the web agrees with me or not, though I am sometimes amused when they think I care.
I agree with the person who said some need thicker skin. There are people who consider merely disagreeing with them to be an attack on them and their feelings. How can you have a rational discussion with someone at all if the second you say anything that contradicts what they think or what they want to hear, they accuse you of judging them or being nasty?
Answer: You don't lol
Thanks, I needed to read this. I'm going through another one of these. Agh! Again, with the condescending comments. It just never ends, does it?
I just call them childish and immature when they retort to insults.
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I wish I were exaggerating but I can name a couple of members off the top of my head... With that said, I think CD is good at maintaining the forums and weeding out trouble-makers, though a few immature posters in particular slip through.
People! They make me laugh!
