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Even if he doesnt play cards, sometimes there's board games - simple ones, nothing too long or confusing - when the weather warms up, he may even want to play Shuffleboard, miniature golf, bowling or something like that, nothing strenuous but just fun - sometimes they even have walks in the early hours at the mall so it's not weather dependent at all. A family member had some extra time on his hands and took the plunge now plays pinochle - hadnt played in many many yrs - the seniors were very nice and friendly to him and now he enjoys it a couple of times a week (and there's almost as many women playing it as men, go figure). My mother plays Bingo a couple of times a week - it's for pennies or small bags of M&M's - it's a highlight and she gets a real kick out of it - Im sure your brother would prob. enjoy something like that but you both might have to visit several senior centers and see which is the best fit for him - some are more active than others - sometimes they have day trips which include local plays, restaurants, movies etc. Wish they had these things yrs ago, I know my older relatives w/h really enjoyed them as they didnt get out much but back then, there was very little for them, these days people can pick and choose.
Why don't you invite him to walk with you twice a week or so? Start slow.
It sounds like he wants to be in his comfort zone - as soon as he gets out more and feels better, his mood may improve (but he is grieving at the same time).
Walking when the weather gets better sounds like a good idea, thanks. (we're still in the middle of winter-like weather here) Walking would be good for me too. (need to lose a few extra lbs lol)
I'm also going to call the senior's center and see when I/we can drop by to see what it's all about.
Thanks to all who responded. Great ideas! Fingers crossed that he will find something that he will enjoy and help improve his life.
Just FYI, Knights of Columbus is Roman Catholic, not Italian-American (founded by an Irish-American priest). My extremely German/Scottish father is in KofC.
Still a good idea to get involved in similar groups. Just wanted to clarify though.
Thank you for letting me know. I knew my father in law belonged but he was both Ital-Amer. AND Catholic, so that explains.
I don't think he'd be too interested in holding babies. He never showed much interest in mine when they were young, but I appreciate the idea.
I just meant that as an example of the different kind of volunteer opportunities that a hospital may have. If he's not into babies, maybe he would prefer playing with older kids, or visiting with elderly patients. Some cancer units have "hospitality" volunteers who help pass out blankets and snacks for those receiving chemo. The point is that there's likely a wide variety of things he could do at a hospital.
I applaud your efforts and I'm not against it whatsoever. All the plans you have sound really great and HOPEFULLY he can act on one or most of them. Not to be a pessimist but at his age and the fact that his wife has passed its extremely hard to change those habbits, I know because I go through this with my grandmother. My grandfather passed when my grandmother was roughly around the same age as your grandfather and they too were very much coach potatoes (much more so my grandmother). Some of us in the family tried to get her to take walks in the park, socialize at some senior centers, do volunteer work but she wants none of it. She politely makes excuses for why she can't go or do this or that, when in reality she does NOTHING but watch TV all day, everyday.
She's now 78 and I realized a long time ago that her habbits aren't going to change, unfortunately. And I would say its the same for your brother. Once most people hit an older age, change becomes more difficult, especially if they aren't the out going types to begin with. who knows though, perhaps things could change but ultimately its up to him. You're coming from a good place and there's nothing wrong with what you're doing. If he doesn't want it though, leave him be and do what you can do for him; which is being a good relative.
I applaud your efforts and I'm not against it whatsoever. All the plans you have sound really great and HOPEFULLY he can act on one or most of them. Not to be a pessimist but at his age and the fact that his wife has passed its extremely hard to change those habbits, I know because I go through this with my grandmother. My grandfather passed when my grandmother was roughly around the same age as your grandfather and they too were very much coach potatoes (much more so my grandmother). Some of us in the family tried to get her to take walks in the park, socialize at some senior centers, do volunteer work but she wants none of it. She politely makes excuses for why she can't go or do this or that, when in reality she does NOTHING but watch TV all day, everyday.
She's now 78 and I realized a long time ago that her habbits aren't going to change, unfortunately. And I would say its the same for your brother. Once most people hit an older age, change becomes more difficult, especially if they aren't the out going types to begin with. who knows though, perhaps things could change but ultimately its up to him. You're coming from a good place and there's nothing wrong with what you're doing. If he doesn't want it though, leave him be and do what you can do for him; which is being a good relative.
Hope all works out well!
Thanks, you are most likely correct.
I am just hoping that he will find something (or someone) to occupy his time and help him through the loneliness, or he will have to just get used to being alone.
Unfortunately, he depends on me and our other brother who live in the same town to be his main social life. Our other brother is married, and his wife doesn't want the brother in question around much at all. They have had words in the past.
My husband works long hours and doesn't want him around on a regular basis after work either, but he is certainly more patient and tollerable than my SIL, but I don't want it getting to the point of ANY of us feeling resentful of his presence. My husband and I live active lives travelling, camping and socializing with friends, so we aren't able (or truly don't want) to have him visiting so often. Keeping the peace in my marriage is something I also have to consider. I know I have to toughen up and say no when he asks to come for visits too often, but I don't want to hurt him either. We will all have to compromise and hope that he finds happiness in this new chapter of his living without his wife.
What activities do you suggest for a 64 year old man to do for socializing and meeting new people? My brother's wife recently passed away and he is lonely and lost without her. They were two couch potatoes. They didn't have any children and had a very small circle of friends/relatives.
Can you suggest some acitivities/volunteer work for him to do that a very slow moving person could do? He weighs 300 lbs and is very unmotivated for anything that requires even slight physical expendature. He belongs to a gym (I'm very glad of that) but his workouts are minimal. (a very slow treadmill for 1/2 hour. 3x weekly)
I thought of him helping out at a local soup kitchen, but we have some very shady persons in this town that I think he'd be nervous of. (has had paranoia problems in the past)
If I could think of something that would interest him, I'd go with him at first to break the ice. He doesn't play cards, has no hobbies and used to like fishing, but isn't even motivated to do that any more.
Maybe I'm dreaming if I think there is something that would be suitable... or that he would even be interested in. I know it's a tall order... Any ideas?
Go to a senior center. They all have music and the women would love to have another male around if only to talk.
Volunteer at a nursing home and visit patients. A lot of them have no one.
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Walking, getting out
here) Walking would be good for me too. (need to lose a few extra lbs lol) 
