How to beat a bully

[Ina Pickle]

Originally Posted by cdnirene

Many years ago when I was in my 20s and dealing with the "boss from hell", I took an assertiveness training course and read a couple of books on the subject. It literally changed my life.

I googled and found this article which will introduce you to the subject :

Building Assertiveness in 4 Steps | World of Psychology

There are a number of techniques you can learn - too much to cover on message board. This is one example though:

Never attack the person when you are trying to explain your position. If you say "you are stupid to think that" then the person will be focusing mentally entirely on how to respond to the attack when you finish talking and won't really "hear" your point of view. On the other hand if you say "I think it's a bad idea and this is why...", they are more likely to listen to what you have to say with an open mind.

Very helpful. I'm reading this now

[stava]

If you are in fact being bullied, what the bully wants is a reaction from you. They want to break you, so that they feel more powerful, because they are actually very insecure. They wouldn't be actively trying to STEAL your power if they had an abundance of their own.

So, the key is to stay nonreactive and unemotional. Stay cool, calm, and collected, and keep moving forward in a strong and positive manner. If someone sees that they can't get to you, can't get under your skin, they're eventually going to feel foolish for trying because they're going to make themselves look stupid.

A bully is like a plug looking for a wall socket to drain electricity from. Don't let the bully plug into you. Do not feed the narcissists! And, if you can, make them AFRAID of you. By remaining unmoved by their antics, they will realize that you see through them and won't tolerate immaturity.