If a friend tells you a secret, do you share with your spouse/SO? (boyfriend, husband)
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Why must people feel they must share a friend's secret with their spouse? Because you don't want secrets kept in the marriage? Surely he has secrets and you have secrets about yourself that you've never shared with him. No?
I feel everyone has secrets so unless it affects him and his life and if it's just a tidbit about your friend, why do you feel the need to share with your spouse? Isn't that more gossip and betrayal against your friend than keeping secrets from your spouse/SO?
If you tell your spouse, are you just bad at keeping secrets and need to tell someone?
I would not tell a good friend a secret if I knew she would share with her spouse because who knows how good he is at keeping it to himself? So unless I could see myself sharing with the friend's husband, the friend won't hear it.
Last edited by diddlydudette; 07-09-2014 at 08:44 AM..
If a friend tells you a secret and asks you not to share with anyone, is it a given that you will share the secret with your spouse/SO even if your friend asks you not to tell them?
I answered yes, but I wanted to add one exception, and that's a secret my best friend just told me last week that is so bad it could hurt a lot of people. That one will go to my grave, and I wish she hadn't told me, but she really needed to tell someone.
First of all I ask the person imparting the secret if it's really necessary to tell ME their secret and why that is the case. Secondly I tell them that if this secret has the potential to cause harm to another person, I will not keep the secret.
Agreeing to keep a secret "Carte blanche" is just stupid. There are no vows that we take that are binding like that.
I hate being in those situations. There have been a couple of situations where I've had to tell MrsCPG that I was sworn to secrecy. She respected that.
If a friend tells you a secret and asks you not to share with anyone, is it a given that you will share the secret with your spouse/SO even if your friend asks you not to tell them?
If a secret is told to anyone it is no longer a secret so there really is nothing to keep from my spouse.
I guess I'm wondering why adults would have these dark 'secrets'? The truth is, I don't want to carry around someone's heavy duty secrets, that's on them. If you're talking a surprise birthday party, that's one thing. However, if you're sleeping with someone that's not your spouse, no thanks. I avoid drama like the plague.
If a friend tells you a secret and asks you not to share with anyone, is it a given that you will share the secret with your spouse/SO even if your friend asks you not to tell them?
I would say YES..but I am GREAT at secrets and very trustworthy..However, this sort of irks me because girls that are friends with my man have done this. The correct response is, "I tell my husband/wife everything..There are no secrets in our marriage..They are very trustworthy and not judgmental but I don't hide anything. I want you to be able to talk to me but need you to know that, first..If you do not wish to tell me now, no offense taken..I will understand.."
THERE ARE NO SECRETS IN A MARRIAGE. And I never understood the reason why someone asks them not to tell their spouse..I mean what in the world are they telling their friend that they're adamant about being hidden from their spouse?
The correct response is, "I tell my husband/wife everything..There are no secrets in our marriage..They are very trustworthy and not judgmental but I don't hide anything. I want you to be able to talk to me but need you to know that, first..If you do not wish to tell me now, no offense taken..I will understand.."
THERE ARE NO SECRETS IN A MARRIAGE. And I never understood the reason why someone asks them not to tell their spouse..I mean what in the world are they telling their friend that they're adamant about being hidden from their spouse?
So once you are married, you and your girlfriends/boyfriends are no longer allowed to ask each other to keep something between you in confidence because the spouses must now be told too?
What if your good friend told you something that had absolutely nothing to do with your spouse. You and your girlfriend are just talking girl talk. The thing told in confidence has no bearing on your spouse at all and is nothing detrimental to you marriage. Why do you have to tell him/her what your best friend just asked you not to tell?
Let's say for instance you are a woman and you and your best girlfriend were talking and she told you in confidence about her vagina rejuvenation that she just had lol. She asked you to keep that piece of info to yourself and secret. She was just telling you in confidence as she didn't want anyone else to know about it but she wanted to share this with you. Why would you have the need to have to go back to your spouse and tell them this piece of info about your friend? How exactly does keeping your friend's secret away from your husband hurt your marriage if you don't tell him? Why do you feel the need to have to tell the spouse? ....just curious.
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