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During the most recent browbeating she told me I was being "defensive"
So I am not supposed to ask for her to stop or defend myself ???
Just listen to the lecture like a good little girl ???
What you do is tell her one last time that this topic is not open for discussion, debate, nor lecture and if/when she starts with this topic you will leave if you are out and about or if she is in your home she will be shown the door immediately.
When you are showing her the door tell her that she has been told numerous times the topic is not open for discussion, debate or lecture, open the door, tell her to have a nice day and close the door.
Some people do not understand civil so be downright uncivil and she might just grasp the boundary concept.
First of all if you have mention the right story on your OP every one might have some positive answers for you. Truly sorry about your husband but I think your friend has a point. Don't see it as a nagging. Yes you lost your husband. There is nothing you can to stop that. If you could, you did it. I think church is a right place to have a relief, release the pain. And If I were you I am truly happy if some one take me to the church. And I am happy if some one try to get me in to the reality. There is nothing to defend or being aggressive towards to a friend who ask you to join the prayers at church and study the bible. Bible explain about death pain and everything. So still my hat off to your friend sorry. She is being a good friend in my view.
What you do is tell her one last time that this topic is not open for discussion, debate, nor lecture and if/when she starts with this topic you will leave if you are out and about or if she is in your home she will be shown the door immediately.
I feel like she got her one last chance because I have told her many times it needs to stop and the last time
I clearly told her I can't continue to be around her unless she backs off with this issue and lets me figure it out on my own.
She flat out said she would not stop because she thinks its justified..and thinks it would mean she isn't
being bold for the gospel..
We talked again the next day (not in anger) and I told her I will not listen to it anymore and she said
she can't let it go. So we both said we would miss each other..
I think I didn't have a choice in this situation..
of course it is up to you to decide but don't ask from public if you don't like the answers. Don't try to blow your anger here on me I don't even know you.
I have a friend that has nagged me to death about a particular issue..
The issue doesn't matter...
She gets on a roll about it and won't stop even when I say "please stop !!!"
I finally told her that I can't be around that anymore, that she has to stop judging &
harping on this issue..She said she can't.
So I told her I can't be around her then, because it is disrespectful for her to ignore
my asking her to stop..She can't see that it is controlling and says I am being controlling by placing
limitations on the conversation..
How do I explain that its a healthy boundary to not allow myself to be badgered.
Obviously you don't because you tried and she disagrees.
So stop making fake threats and just stop seeing her/being around her.
of course it is up to you to decide but don't ask from public if you don't like the answers. Don't try to blow your anger here on me I don't even know you.
That is the whole point of the OP..Whether its good for me isn't the issue. The issue is whether
she can back off with the way that she is badgering me and let me figure out my spiritual walk myself.
I actually want to find a church (but not her church)
... but I want her to quit harping on it, lecturing me and
acting like I answer to her about it..I have told her this...
Obviously you don't because you tried and she disagrees.
So stop making fake threats and just stop seeing her/being around her.
Exactly, If she had said that she would try to back off then it would make sense to see how it goes,
but with her justifing it as accountablitity and saying that she will not stop I see nothing else to talk about.
She has already texted trying to explain why she won't stop.
That made me wonder if there was a way to help her see the problem..
I told her it was controlling behavior.
That is when she said I was being controlling to try to limit the conversations.
I told her lectures were not conversations..
I try to stay clear of drama and prefer friends that respect me.
That is the whole point of the OP..Whether its good for me isn't the issue. The issue is whether
she can back off with the way that she is badgering me and let me figure out my spiritual walk myself.
I actually want to find a church (but not her church)
... but I want her to quit harping on it, lecturing me and
acting like I answer to her about it..I have told her this...
That is not the meaning of your OP for me it does not matter. I think you are a sort woman who does not like to hear from other people. Any way good luck with your friend.
you have only two choices
either you keep the friendship and still be aggressive to her say harassing things towards to her believes and church and bible lessons.
Or just stop contact as NC and live with the evil or god you like.
Nothing much other than that you can to regarding this. By the way regarding respect you then you need to behave in a way people can respect you too. IF you being arrogant in front of people and expect them to respect you.
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