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Hello everyone. So I kind of discussed this in my previous thread in (Work & Employment) but I feel like I should add some extra detail. So I work in retail, and my company recently moved me to a new store location, so now I have to work with new people. I didn't know anybody at this particular location except one girl that I never met in person, but I knew who she was because she is friends with my best-friend. For some reason, meeting her made me feel very weird and unsettled. I haven't had feelings for somebody in a very long time, so perhaps this is what I'm experiencing, but after meeting her, she attempted to initiate conversation with me a few times, and I kind of brushed her off and gave her short answers when we talked, and I distanced myself the entire day from her and did my own thing. She asked me to hang out with her and her friends (at work) and I just replied that I wasn't into socializing.
Which isn't true because at my previous store I was socializing and having fun with my previous coworkers. But this girl is making me feel really uneasy. She is attractive, good sense of humor, but she is in a relationship. So I'm wondering.. Maybe I feel threatened by her? I just don't understand what I'm experiencing. I've only been around her once so far, so I'm not sure what the next time will be like. But my instinct feels to just distance myself from her.
I just have no desire to be around her. I don't know why. She seems nice but I just can't let my guard down. I don't feel like I can show her the real me. I feel like I have to be serious around her, so that way I don't give away my power. Maybe I'm afraid of getting close to her in fear that I may really have feelings? Who knows. This is super bizarre. All I know is that next time I see her, I'll probably avoid her again and not engage her in conversation. I just don't feel like myself around her. I have a hard time even looking at her and making eye contact. I just shut her out completely. I give her short answers and I just don't engage her. I feel kinda bad but I don't know why I'm doing this. I just can't open up to her.
It can happen that we don't have good chemistry with someone.
Maybe you're making too big of a deal out of this entire situation and wasting too much time focusing on her. There's nothing wrong with being cordial with your coworkers while not getting too involved.
From everything you've described, sounds like it would be best for you to be nice, but not get too familiar. . . and to stop analyzing yourself so much.
You don't want to present as standoffish and rude, and your coworkers could be perceiving you that way if you snub them (even though you're not meaning to come off that way).
Maybe bcs she's friends with your best friend and you feel like an opinion of you might affect your best friend's opinion? Or that your best friend will start hearing stories about you?
Let's be honest....you like her but know you cant have her because she's in a relationship. So now instead of just focusing on work youre obsessing over how to behave around a girl you clearly like.
My advice stop over thinking the situation. If you dont want to hang out politely refuse. It seems you may think shes coming on to you when in fact shes just being friendly.
Hello everyone. ... I give her short answers and I just don't engage her. I feel kinda bad but I don't know why I'm doing this. I just can't open up to her.
Hello everyone. So I kind of discussed this in my previous thread in (Work & Employment) but I feel like I should add some extra detail. So I work in retail, and my company recently moved me to a new store location, so now I have to work with new people. I didn't know anybody at this particular location except one girl that I never met in person, but I knew who she was because she is friends with my best-friend. For some reason, meeting her made me feel very weird and unsettled. I haven't had feelings for somebody in a very long time, so perhaps this is what I'm experiencing, but after meeting her, she attempted to initiate conversation with me a few times, and I kind of brushed her off and gave her short answers when we talked, and I distanced myself the entire day from her and did my own thing. She asked me to hang out with her and her friends (at work) and I just replied that I wasn't into socializing.
Which isn't true because at my previous store I was socializing and having fun with my previous coworkers. But this girl is making me feel really uneasy. She is attractive, good sense of humor, but she is in a relationship. So I'm wondering.. Maybe I feel threatened by her? I just don't understand what I'm experiencing. I've only been around her once so far, so I'm not sure what the next time will be like. But my instinct feels to just distance myself from her.
I just have no desire to be around her. I don't know why. She seems nice but I just can't let my guard down. I don't feel like I can show her the real me. I feel like I have to be serious around her, so that way I don't give away my power. Maybe I'm afraid of getting close to her in fear that I may really have feelings? Who knows. This is super bizarre. All I know is that next time I see her, I'll probably avoid her again and not engage her in conversation. I just don't feel like myself around her. I have a hard time even looking at her and making eye contact. I just shut her out completely. I give her short answers and I just don't engage her. I feel kinda bad but I don't know why I'm doing this. I just can't open up to her.
Didn't you say on your other thread, and I quote directly, "I DON'T TRUST WOMEN."
#1 - Dont mix work with fun. Keep them separate. Be professional aways, forget about being friendly with that girl.
You are there to WORK, not to socialize and make a hook up.
Be professional, buisinesslike. keep a boundary.
That makes you fake.
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