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First off, my boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years, so we're definitely serious. We got the shock of our lives yesterday when he was given a notice to vacate his mom's house in 35 days. The house is foreclosed and we all knew it was coming about 2 years ago when the bills were not being paid, but that doesn't make it any less shocking that it happened yesterday.
I'm living with my parents while paying rent and helping them out. My boyfriend will be moving in with me and paying rent as well. For us, we're be fine since we both have jobs and can take care of ourselves. We both have the same mentality towards finances and money.
The problem is what can we do for his mom? We both agreed that his mom CANNOT live with us whether we have a house in the future or rent. Ever. Yes, that's the bottom line. No its, ands, or buts about that and I'm sticking to that decision.
Background regarding his mom:
She's made a TON of mistakes over the her lifespan. There's so many mistakes that I don't even know where to begin. She's a lovely lady and we both love her, but she's made countless mistakes as I've said. She's not talking to any family members even though she has numerous sisters, her two ex husbands were hit with major financial difficulties after divorcing her (so she's burned that bridge), her two daughters were/are in jail. She's been enabling them over the years and this is the result. They stole, lie, cheat, and deceive, yet she still has a 'superhero' complex to try and help them even now. She has nothing and I mean nothing. No job, no marketable skills, no 401k, no benefits, no retirement income, and now no home in 35 days at almost 60 years old.
I know that she's dug a huge huge hole for herself and there's no one to blame now except herself for her decisions and apathy. She's burned a lot of bridges, we can all see that. Everyone has to face the limelight and face the consequences. I don't need others telling me that it's her problem, actions have consequences, etc, etc. We're just trying to help her not be homeless.
My question is what are our options in terms of her housing? Any reason or conditions that we can claim to allow her to stay in the house longer? Any programs or experience by members who have been in this situation would be much appreciated. BTW, she's a veteran and we live in NJ.
Any tips on what to do with the furniture aside from craigslist, consignment shops, or yard sales?
You are not going to be able to stop the eviction. It sounds like she rode that horse (not paying the mortgage) as long as it was possible. She surely knew this day was coming. Where has her money been coming from for utilities, food, etc., up to now? Has your BF been paying all of that? Why has she not been working?
I would suggest senior subsidized apartments, but I think you have to be on SS and there is usually a long waiting list. At 60, she wouldn't be old enough for SS unless she was disabled - and it really didn't sound as if she was.
Hit the consignment shops now to see what they will take? Take photos of the furniture.
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She's going to have to live somewhere. She needs to be applying for section 8/welfare/food stamps/everything she can. Best case scenario, she needs to suck it up and make up with her sibs and hopefully one of them will take her in. And yes, she needs to get a job but at her age it's not likely she will do much better than minimum unless she has some marketable skills you didn't mention. Even if she gets a job, it's not likely she will make enough to support herself.
Do NOT let her spend one night with you or you will never get her out. I am 72 y/o, disabled, and still working, she can do it, too! Don't enable her by trying to find the job for her, tell her of resources for jobs, the VA, and housing, and then step back.
cannot do anything via a lawyer or cannot negotiate? and think what would you do if she is your mother be on that mind and help her.
Yup. That's the purpose of this thread. I'm trying to help her.
Quote:
Originally Posted by drazda
So he was living in his mom's house, rent free and knowing the mortgage wasn't being paid?
No. The mortgage is not being paid because my boyfriend's mom divorced her husband who was paying for the mortgage while she did not have a job. She thought that everything would be fine, that's poor planning of course. Trainwreck, I know. My boyfriend has always paid rent to his mom ever since he started working. His mom has not been working for years, then she found an okay job for a few months, and lost it during the "trial period." So now she's without a job again. He used to live with his two sisters who are deadbeats and stole money from his mom. My boyfriend is the furthest from rent free and has been the only one who really contributes to the bills all these years. He has $60,000 in student loans, so there's no way that he could have afforded the mortgage for the house. His mom has a 'superhero complex' as I've said, and her money has been stolen by her two daughters. She has no savings even now because she's really not financial savvy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by yellowsnow
She's going to have to live somewhere. She needs to be applying for section 8/welfare/food stamps/everything she can. Best case scenario, she needs to suck it up and make up with her sibs and hopefully one of them will take her in. And yes, she needs to get a job but at her age it's not likely she will do much better than minimum unless she has some marketable skills you didn't mention. Even if she gets a job, it's not likely she will make enough to support herself.
Where has the money been coming from?
She does have food stamps. We're look into section 8 and other welfare programs. Thanks.
The money has been solely coming from my boyfriend.
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She has nothing and I mean nothing. No job, no marketable skills, no 401k, no benefits, no retirement income, and now no home in 35 days at almost 60 years old. 
