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Location: Scott County, Tennessee/by way of Detroit
3,352 posts, read 2,837,817 times
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I never drank till the legal age... Never filled Mohawk bottles or 5 o'clock Vodka up after kids drank it. In the parents stash....they never did.. Never did nothing....When I was16 my dad was a judge in our township.. ..I never did anything...I used to hear it from the other kids. Their fine for MIP. ..Your dad did this or that...Are you kidding? I am making up for it now....THO...at 54../
My somewhat sheltered, highly controlled childhood is still affecting me now as an adult in my late 20s going on 30. It's certainly good to start late when it comes to certain controlled substances (as you are much less likely to get addicted when you smoke or drink for the first time as an adult), but I do wish I had more fun and more friends in my teenage and early 20s years, as well as romance and everything that goes along with that. The hair on the top of my head has come and gone, and so has my ability to "last longer," but I still haven't had many of the experiences that most people in my socio-economic class 8-10 years younger than me have. And I already regret that.
Join the club. Many people I know partied hard when younger, had sex with multiple women , and now have good jobs and wives and kids. Me on the other hand have been to maybe a few parties in my whole life where I was basically ignored by ever female there and am still a virgin. Sucks man. There is nothing really you can do to make up for it. At some point the partying thing becomes immature. You just have to be happy where you are, if that makes any sense.
Still, I think that overall if I had done these things I would have ended up better off. Getting a good job is all about who you know and if you don't develop your social skills when you're younger, then it won't matter how smart or educated or learned you are, you won't succeed. In fact, the smarter or more learned you are, the more it will probably just make people more likely to write you off as a snob.
The trick is probably to go out and do these things without getting to the point where you're burning yourself out.
We always hear about how people laugh at the wild things they did when younger. But what about those of you who were pretty tame when younger? Do you regret it now that you're adults?
I regret not that I was "tame", but that I was miserable, wallowing in unhappiness rather than figuring out a way out of it.
I'm another one who had a sheltered childhood with not much experiences, and I do regret this.
As to why I regret this I wouldn't necessary say that it's because I wasn't wild enough, thought this was a factor, but more than anything it was what prevented me from doing the wild things most teens do. First of all I had very little confidence in myself and fearful to try new things. Another thing is that I was very young for my age and by middle school/junior high I wasn't hanging around with other teens outside of school at all. For a third reason I did no extra-curricular activities at all from when I was in grade 4 to grade 10, usually I just sat home and did things there.
Like the above said social skills are very important for getting a good job. That and having confidence in yourself as well as knowing your talents. All of these things were severely lacking in my childhood and teenhood. I really needed a edge and to be more competitive.
My parents were often warning me on the dangers of teenage rebellious behavior which some have mentioned on this thread. But they never promoted how important being confident and having social skills is, and neither did they promote extra-curricular activities. Their parental philosophy seem to be that good behavior is very important but otherwise it's best to be a worry free child.
I had a pretty sheltered childhood in a small town. Being that it was a small town there wasn't much to do other than stay home watching TV or playing videogames. My social skills have always been quite poor, I have anxiety issues, lack of motivation, etc. The most successful people I know are those who partied hard and got to experience real life. Those people not only have book smarts, but also the street smarts to navigate a complicated world. I have neither book smarts or street smarts and been a low wage worker practically all my life.
I'm another one who had a sheltered childhood with not much experiences, and I do regret this.
As to why I regret this I wouldn't necessary say that it's because I wasn't wild enough, thought this was a factor, but more than anything it was what prevented me from doing the wild things most teens do. First of all I had very little confidence in myself and fearful to try new things. Another thing is that I was very young for my age and by middle school/junior high I wasn't hanging around with other teens outside of school at all. For a third reason I did no extra-curricular activities at all from when I was in grade 4 to grade 10, usually I just sat home and did things there.
Like the above said social skills are very important for getting a good job. That and having confidence in yourself as well as knowing your talents. All of these things were severely lacking in my childhood and teenhood. I really needed a edge and to be more competitive.
My parents were often warning me on the dangers of teenage rebellious behavior which some have mentioned on this thread. But they never promoted how important being confident and having social skills is, and neither did they promote extra-curricular activities. Their parental philosophy seem to be that good behavior is very important but otherwise it's best to be a worry free child.
THIS. I didn't have many restrictions growing up, because, well, what was the point? For example, what point are restrictions on dating for a high schooler who was such an outcast that he would never date anyway?
I did my share of drinking and toking, and was often caught doing it, but it wasn't celebrating with friends; it was drowning (or "stoning") sorrows. My parents never understood that.
I was one of those kids who would stay at home studying all the time and attend certain extra-curricular activities.
My parents wouldn't allow me to have friends or go to parties, yet they still thought I was a terrible child.
I was a straight A student which to a certain extent contributed to my greatest achievement so far, getting into a good college program. Now that I realize I can't even find a job with a college degree, I also realize I should have made the most of my youth. I didn't rebell or anything. I was a "good kid"(whatever this means). Maybe because I was also brought up in a "God fearing" household which I departed from at 18 (at that age, most people had already experienced plenty of things). Everytime we'd say, do something, my parents would say: "God will punish you".
I really wish I had the opportunity to experience a first love, high school sweethearts, best friend, girls drama, sneaking out, go to the mall on Saturdays ... I didn't do any of those and quite frankly, if I ever happen to have children, I'd have nothing to tell them about my teenage experiences. I was a boring child, teenager.
All of this got me to well ... nowhere at the moment. What a waste of my youth.
Well, I'm 24 so I still have a lot to experience but in a completely different light. More responsible and grounded. I wish I still had this youthful innocence which allowed us to do things without worrying about the consequences. The flip side is that I am a very responsible adult but I'm "emotionally" detached/immature because I didn't get to experience anything really.
The one thing I wish I had done earlier? Go to a party, have a best friend (to this day I don't have one), date someone.
Oh well.
If it is any consolation, you are still young at 24. You can "spread your wings" and try things now, within economic limits of course.
Caveats:
1. DON'T marry the first lady who shows you any interest. Get to know yourself more, or else you will regret it.
2. Try different activities in a singles group. Even if you end up not liking the particular activity, at least you got out there.
I lived a pretty adventurous life when I was young, but always showed moderate sense. I didn't get into a bunch of illegal things, enjoyed myself just fine without being drunk or stoned, and stayed healthy. In the meantime I helped found a commune in the '60s, volunteered at a free clinic in the '70s and had a lot more sex than was good for my long term happiness. I was like a kid in a candy store, and finally had to call a halt and be celibate for a couple of years to start developing real relationships with women. So yeah, I regret that part of my life a little, even if I have some great memories.
It doesn't answer your question, but I just wanted to mention that everyone has regrets. It's part of living. I saw people my age ruin their lives in a mindless pursuit of hedonism, and I saw people ruin their lives by being afraid to do anything. I think the key is to find a balance where you take care of yourself and the people around you, but know how to party.
No, I am glad I haven't taken drugs or smoked. I don't like the way liberalism is taking this country with smoking, it depresses me when I see innocent teens taking cigarettes, they always say its only one but most of the time it always ends up going on to something worse. Sometimes I get tempted but I always come out the other side. Most of the time it is a status thing which really is quite pathetic and sad.
I love travelling and visiting other countries, I save up every year and do go on holiday some small and some large.. I would much rather spend my money on holidays than alcohol.
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