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I do talk to my mother on the phone as well as on Facebook. She did not tell either one of us, which my husband finds perplexing.
And based on 1) her past medical history and a week and a half hospital stay last year, 2) her age, and 3) the fact that she was sick for several weeks and had to go to the ER, I am not sure if it is a good idea for her to be hosting a Thanksgiving potluck.
My not being sure does not equal dictating.
Why so much about your husband? It's none of his flipping business who she tells about her health. Does he dictate everything in your life.
When it comes to your family of origin, he has one job. Support you. Which means if you want to visit, go along, be polite and smile. If it means you don't want to go, support you. All this "my husband says" "my husband thinks". Your husband needs to back off of your relationship with your mom
Turns out that mom has been sick for several weeks and had to go to the ER.
My husband found this out yesterday.
I am not sure if it is a good idea for her to host a Thanksgiving potluck at her apartment.
She has not had the energy to plan the entire potluck.
I would rather her get better instead of hosting the potluck.
And no, we do not have a car.
Wow. Okay.
It's kind of disturbing how cold natured these posts are. I feel like I have to explain what compassion is to someone.
A potluck usually means people chip in. There isn't much a host has to do with the potluck, except provide plates, cups, utensils, etc. Go to the dollar store and pick up a box of Rice a Roni or stuffing. Seriously, stuffing is the cheapest thing. But people have already mentioned that in this thread.
I'm so confused as to what the issue is here. If your MIL is not feeling well, then you can help her out with the potluck. Tell her 'hey I can't afford to bring much for the potluck, but I can come and help you out with serving and hosting.' Offer something.
And if you worry about her, bring a dish, go early, help prep, stay late and clean. Keep her off her feet. This might be her last thanksgiving, I'm sure she worries about that. Treat her like a queen and leave the entitlement at the door (and hubby at home if he can't get his act together).
Location: Somewhere in a Field of Hopes and Dreams
596 posts, read 628,556 times
Reputation: 683
Quote:
Originally Posted by snugglegirl05
No, this is not a troll post.
And no, my husband is not autistic.
I am just going by his wishes.
Turns out that mom has been sick for several weeks and had to go to the ER.
My husband found this out yesterday.
I am not sure if it is a good idea for her to host a Thanksgiving potluck at her apartment.
She has not had the energy to plan the entire potluck.
I would rather her get better instead of hosting the potluck.
And no, we do not have a car.
Well this should be MORE reason for you to quit whining like a spoiled 16 year old and pull your weight!
Your mother wants to host Thanksgiving, this is what SHE wants. This isn't about you and your entitled, spoiled, nonsense ridden husband and your bevy of weak filled excuses, this is about what your mother wants to do. If she wants to host a Thanksgiving dinner at her home let her, in fact her recent trip to the hospital has probably left her with a lot to be thankful for and she wants to share in that with her loved ones. (It's a pity that you as her daughter can't even be concerned with helping.)
Quit making lame excuses because you're too cheap and too lazy to do anything more than plop YOUR BUTT down at the dining table and chow down.
Someone needs to drop you off at a Soup Kitchen and give you a real understanding of the struggle!
Well this should be MORE reason for you to quit whining like a spoiled 16 year old and pull your weight!
Your mother wants to host Thanksgiving, this is what SHE wants. This isn't about you and your entitled, spoiled, nonsense ridden husband and your bevy of weak filled excuses, this is about what your mother wants to do. If she wants to host a Thanksgiving dinner at her home let her, in fact her recent trip to the hospital has probably left her with a lot to be thankful for and she wants to share in that with her loved ones. (It's a pity that you as her daughter can't even be concerned with helping.)
Quit making lame excuses because you're too cheap and too lazy to do anything more than plop YOUR BUTT down at the dining table and chow down.
Someone needs to drop you off at a Soup Kitchen and give you a real understanding of the struggle!
Location: Somewhere in a Field of Hopes and Dreams
596 posts, read 628,556 times
Reputation: 683
Quote:
Originally Posted by snugglegirl05
I do talk to my mother on the phone as well as on Facebook. She did not tell either one of us, which my husband finds perplexing.
And based on 1) her past medical history and a week and a half hospital stay last year, 2) her age, and 3) the fact that she was sick for several weeks and had to go to the ER, I am not sure if it is a good idea for her to be hosting a Thanksgiving potluck.
My not being sure does not equal dictating.
Oh please, this was not your concern when you started this thread. Quit with the phony act of "concern," this is just another weak excuse so you can carry on being cheap and selfish.
Please. STAY. AT. HOME.
Make your own Thanksgiving Dinner and see how much money you and your husband manage to save.
And if you worry about her, bring a dish, go early, help prep, stay late and clean. Keep her off her feet. This might be her last thanksgiving, I'm sure she worries about that. Treat her like a queen and leave the entitlement at the door (and hubby at home if he can't get his act together).
Right on.
Dang. OP, your mother is reaching out to you. She wants to include you and your husband in her holiday plans. Let me ask you a question - have YOU offered to either 1) host Thanksgiving at YOUR house or 2) host Thanksgiving at your mom's house so she can stay off her feet some and enjoy the day without having to coordinate all the cooking, who's bringing who, and cleaning up?
OP, prior to your husband entering your life, did you regularly spend holidays with your family? Has your mom hosted Thanksgiving at her house in the past, and did you attend? Did you or others bring dishes? I am asking because frankly I think it's odd that you seem surprised at being asked to bring a specific dish and a bottle of wine (or if you prefer, a tupperware pitcher of iced tea or a couple of sodas). How does your family USUALLY celebrate Thanksgiving?
How does your husband's family usually celebrate it? Did you and your husband discuss Thanksgiving and Christmas and other holidays and what your expectations are prior to Thanksgiving "suddenly appearing on the horizon?" How did you reach the conclusion to spend this Thanksgiving with your family rather than his? Could this be part of the issue? Does he want to spend it with HIS family and is this his way of pitching a little fit rather than simply saying, "Hey, let's talk about our holiday expectations"?
In other words, what's the REAL problem? I am asking because it's pretty obvious that the "real" problem is not a side dish and a liter of Coke.
I do talk to my mother on the phone as well as on Facebook. She did not tell either one of us, which my husband finds perplexing.
And based on 1) her past medical history and a week and a half hospital stay last year, 2) her age, and 3) the fact that she was sick for several weeks and had to go to the ER, I am not sure if it is a good idea for her to be hosting a Thanksgiving potluck.
My not being sure does not equal dictating.
How old is your mom?
Why do you think that since she stayed in the hospital a week and a half LAST YEAR she is unable to physically host Thanksgiving?
So she went to the ER the other day, right? What did they say? Did they tell her to curtail her activities? Is she following her doctor's orders? Have you offered to HELP HER host Thanksgiving dinner?
Do YOU find it perplexing that your mom didn't mention her recent illness to you? Frankly, at this point, I don't care whether your husband finds it perplexing, because what I find perplexing is your constant referalls to HIS concerns - which seem sort of lame if you ask me.
Actually now that I'm thinking about it, I don't find your mother's lack of communication with you about her recent illness perplexing at all. She probably knew that you and your husband would have some sort of weird response to it - which you are doing right now.
"You went to the ER ten days before Thanksgiving - NO THANKSGIVING FOR YOU, MISSY!"
Dang. OP, your mother is reaching out to you. She wants to include you and your husband in her holiday plans. Let me ask you a question - have YOU offered to either 1) host Thanksgiving at YOUR house or 2) host Thanksgiving at your mom's house so she can stay off her feet some and enjoy the day without having to coordinate all the cooking, who's bringing who, and cleaning up?
OP, prior to your husband entering your life, did you regularly spend holidays with your family? Has your mom hosted Thanksgiving at her house in the past, and did you attend? Did you or others bring dishes? I am asking because frankly I think it's odd that you seem surprised at being asked to bring a specific dish and a bottle of wine (or if you prefer, a tupperware pitcher of iced tea or a couple of sodas). How does your family USUALLY celebrate Thanksgiving?
How does your husband's family usually celebrate it? Did you and your husband discuss Thanksgiving and Christmas and other holidays and what your expectations are prior to Thanksgiving "suddenly appearing on the horizon?" How did you reach the conclusion to spend this Thanksgiving with your family rather than his? Could this be part of the issue? Does he want to spend it with HIS family and is this his way of pitching a little fit rather than simply saying, "Hey, let's talk about our holiday expectations"?
In other words, what's the REAL problem? I am asking because it's pretty obvious that the "real" problem is not a side dish and a liter of Coke.
Ok so it won't let me rep you again, so I will return the favor and do it publicly.
I think the op would really benefit from writing down these questions and answer them honestly. Maybe then she will know how she feels about it.
I think it's pretty telling that Mom didn't bother to let them know she'd been to the ER; sounds like she knew not to bother.
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