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Many here remember my former friend - the widow I used to hang out with. Well, she called me.
Her: Hey, how have you been?"
Me: "I'm fine, you?"
Her: I'm okay. Haven't seen you. Usually one of my [grown] kids run into you at a store (we live 10 minutes apart; sometimes shop at the same stores)
Me: I've been busy, with work, car shows, etc.
Her: Listen, the kids and grandchildren ask about you all the time...how about you come see everybody and say hi? I'll make dinner, you hang out with everyone."
Me: "I'll let you know. Things are crazy with work and all...."
Her: "Find anyone yet?"
Me: "Talking to a couple of women" (she asked for details, I didn't give).
Her: "Okay, how about one day next week?"
Me: "I'll let you know ASAP."
She is a terrific mom and grandma; kids and grandchildren are really cool. BUT...I refuse to get "vortexed" into the craziness again! I don't know. Maybe an ulterior motive? I walked away from her nearly three months ago - got tired of the craziness. Now she contacts me, asking to have dinner with her family. What gives?
Many here remember my former friend - the widow I used to hang out with. Well, she called me.
Her: Hey, how have you been?"
Me: "I'm fine, you?"
Her: I'm okay. Haven't seen you. Usually one of my [grown] kids run into you at a store (we live 10 minutes apart; sometimes shop at the same stores)
Me: I've been busy, with work, car shows, etc.
Her: Listen, the kids and grandchildren ask about you all the time...how about you come see everybody and say hi? I'll make dinner, you hang out with everyone."
Me: "I'll let you know. Things are crazy with work and all...."
Her: "Find anyone yet?"
Me: "Talking to a couple of women" (she asked for details, I didn't give).
Her: "Okay, how about one day next week?"
Me: "I'll let you know ASAP."
She is a terrific mom and grandma; kids and grandchildren are really cool. BUT...I refuse to get "vortexed" into the craziness again! I don't know. Maybe an ulterior motive? I walked away from her nearly three months ago - got tired of the craziness. Now she contacts me, asking to have dinner with her family. What gives?
Why should he 'humor' her? So he can get sucked back into her BS? She's going to drill him for details on who he's mingling with, might even drum up some exaggerated drama just to get him back in orbit. She mentioned the kids as 'bait'.
I wouldn't have even taken the call, you already know what it's about, and you knew it was going to happen--as was said above, 'she's used to having you in orbit'. She's the sort that should you ignore her and then she sees you at a bar having a drink with a ladyfriend, guaranteed she'd make some sort of scene, subtle or not.
What gives? I don't know the back story, but it's fairly irrelevant. If you didn't tell her that you were distancing yourself, it's understandable that she's trying to reconnect. You made a decision to walk away, but you didn't let her know about your decision. So of course she's going to continue to reach out. If you don't want her to, you need to man up and say so. Otherwise don't be surprised if it happens again.
And if you have no intention of going over there, you should have just said so up front, rather than making it sound like you were entertaining the idea.
If you're going to draw a line in the sand, make sure it's not invisible.
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