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"I know all of us have been seeing each other at Christmas for years but how is it working? I don't think it is! We are getting together due to tradition, not because we like each other or have any thing in common. No one has had the courage to bring this up and I guess I have to be the honest one. Lets strike it up to experience and spend Christmas in the future with people we all enjoy. OK?"
"I know all of us have been seeing each other at Christmas for years but how is it working? I don't think it is! We are getting together due to tradition, not because we like each other or have any thing in common. No one has had the courage to bring this up and I guess I have to be the honest one. Lets strike it up to experience and spend Christmas in the future with people we all enjoy. OK?"
No, sorry, that's an awful thing to say. That's not honest, it's rude and ignorant and intentionally inflammatory. Are you trying to start a fight? There are plenty of other ways to handle this without purposely antagonizing people.
Both my mother's and father's family had Christmas-only relatives, but there were no gifts exchanged. It was nice to see these people and renew the family contacts. The idea that each and every person you know might require a gift, or is resented because you feel that they expect a gift developed many decades later. Fortunately we were never part of it, the holidays were about socializing more than anything else.
The development of the greed culture has made the world seem populated by nothing but potential blood-suckers it sounds like.
No, sorry, that's an awful thing to say. That's not honest, it's rude and ignorant and intentionally inflammatory. Are you trying to start a fight? There are plenty of other ways to handle this without purposely antagonizing people.
OK, then how can I take the lead to put everyone out of their misery? Someone has to be honest!
OK, then how can I take the lead to put everyone out of their misery? Someone has to be honest!
If you don't want to participate at all in spending or getting together, say so. Even if it's a lie, you can say you appreciate the time you've spent over the years, but you're choosing to do something different this year, and that you won't be attending or participating in the gift exchange. They might not like it, but it's better than being blunt and telling them you don't like them, never liked them and look forward to not being around them.
What if the heading had been "Family Reunion Relatives Only". Would the responses have been different?
My Dad was the baby of his family. Of the top of my head I would guess that his oldest brother was about 20 years older than my dad and since my youngest brother was born was our father was close to 40 the range in age of first cousins was almost 40 years. Now, a few of dad's relatives lived nearby and we saw them multiple times each year (some almost weekly) but a quite a few lived much farther away or out of state.
His family had an annual reunion. Just because I only saw some of my aunts & uncles & cousins once a year it did not mean that I couldn't enjoy the time that we spent together at the family reunion, even if we did not have a lot in common. Of course, we did not exchange gifts but everyone had a good time at the reunion. And it was only one day a year so you could at least try to have fun.
OK, then how can I take the lead to put everyone out of their misery? Someone has to be honest!
Why is it necessary? Who made you the judge and jury of how family gatherings should be conducted to the benefit of all? You're not being "honest", you're being a meddlesome baiter in my opinion. If you don't like these gatherings then don't keep going to them. You brought up exactly the same questions last year. Maybe your sitting on the sidelines observing them all with disdain doesn't sit well with them either. Without miserable old Scrooge around, the gathering might be very pleasant. You and the wife can enjoy a nice quiet time at home without all the drama.
"I know all of us have been seeing each other at Christmas for years but how is it working? I don't think it is! We are getting together due to tradition, not because we like each other or have any thing in common. No one has had the courage to bring this up and I guess I have to be the honest one. Lets strike it up to experience and spend Christmas in the future with people we all enjoy. OK?"
My dad's side of the family is like this. It's phony to me so I no longer attend the 'family gatherings.' I am of the frame of mind that family is an verb and not just a noun.
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