Christmas Only relatives

[dmills]

Originally Posted by Liberty2011

If you don't want to participate at all in spending or getting together, say so. Even if it's a lie, you can say you appreciate the time you've spent over the years, but you're choosing to do something different this year, and that you won't be attending or participating in the gift exchange. They might not like it, but it's better than being blunt and telling them you don't like them, never liked them and look forward to not being around them.

I agree with this approach. Tactfully say how YOU feel and don't attempt to speak for every (any) one else. Sometimes we project our own feelings/displeasure about a situation onto others. Maybe there are some who actually like the tradition and want to continue it. What gives you the right to rain on their good time? If there are others who feel the same way, they may take your cue and respond similarly... or you may be the only one missing next year. Either way, you will have resolved YOUR problem.

[Hemlock140]

Originally Posted by Sudcaro

My husband and I have these relatives too. We don't do presents, though.

Same here, they come here for Christmas (no presents, just to eat) and Thanksgiving and that's the only time we see them. One is 20 minutes away, the other 45. No big deal, other than being siblings we have very little in common with either of them.

[theatergypsy]

Originally Posted by Quick Thinker

How about this statement at Christmas:

"I know all of us have been seeing each other at Christmas for years but how is it working? I don't think it is! We are getting together due to tradition, not because we like each other or have any thing in common. No one has had the courage to bring this up and I guess I have to be the honest one. Lets strike it up to experience and spend Christmas in the future with people we all enjoy. OK?"

Jeez, no wonder people walk out on you in mid-sentence. "not because we like each other"? "spend Christmas...with people we all enjoy"? Certainly not the most tactful way to approach it.

Why not just send a Christmas card that says, "Greetings from the Thinkers...we'll be traveling this Christmas and will have to forego our usual get-together with you. The added expense of driving 300 miles and having to eat an over-priced meal at Shoney's means we won't have the wherewithal to buy our usual hundreds-of-dollars gifts, so this is as good a time as any to end this tradition. Best wishes."