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This guy has reached out for attention several times. Nothing is really wrong with him except for the lack of willpower. For the 18 years of my childhood I was beaten and had crazy, drugged-out parents and was in foster care...this guy grew up in a supportive middle-class family. He has friends, and a job. He's a pretty attractive guy and could find a quality girlfriend if he applied himself.
But he's depressed and suicidal.
He smokes cigarettes all day too, showing he is too weak to stop and doesn't care for his own well-being.
What I really feel like telling him is to stop being a pathetic wimp!
My mom too. She complains all day about her crappy life but she doesn't apply her efforts. She smokes and sits around eating brown sugar while watching TV. With determination she could have such a happier life, but instead she wallows, and then complains to the people around her.
People who are depressed without a clear reason have always irritated me a bit. As if they don't have the RIGHT to be. I try to give them advice but it's always shoddy because it's not really genuine.
Just wondering if anyone else feels that way. Am I just cold and heartless? What am I SUPPOSED to say when someone comes to me telling me they want to die (in my mind, just because they suck at life)?
Wow. Don't you know that depression can be clinical from a chemical imbalance? Someone suffering from its effects might have a great life, but they can't see how good life is because of a chemical imbalance. Usually therapy and medications are needed for people who have clinical depression. It sounds like you need therapy yourself with how unsympathetic you are with people who are depressed.
Yes, I think you;re heartless because if you weren't heartless, you would suggest therapy and lend more of an ear yourself. Instead you judge and judge. Just because they might seem to have a good life doesn't mean they don't struggle.
Don't give them advice, that's not what they're looking for. Don't let them complain to you, make it very clear that the kind of help they need is beyond your capabilities and they should direct their grievances towards a more qualified person.
And understand that depression is also a chemical issue, there always doesn't need to be a clear reason.
Which is why there's nothing I can do to help them.
I think suggesting therapy to a depressed person is a pointless, tired cliche--I mean it's obvious and not helpful. I was depressed once but for real reasons and whenever I heard the phrase "you should see a counselor" it was irritating. I was able to get through my own issues by journalling and looking inward, taking apart the problem and executing the necessary actions for well-being. Once the factors that were limiting my success and happiness, i.e. abusive parents and caretakers were removed I came out of depression and don't understand why they can't do the same.
When I see a homeless person on the street, I assume they probably got there through bad decisions and weak will too. Their request for money is basically the same as the friend's request for attention; they have to do the work to treat the root of their own problem.
It's true, I probably am cold-hearted. But I do feel bad about this. If anyone else has any other suggestions for being less of a prick let me know.
Which is why there's nothing I can do to help them.
I think suggesting therapy to a depressed person is a pointless, tired cliche--I mean it's obvious and not helpful. I was depressed once but for real reasons and whenever I heard the phrase "you should see a counselor" it was irritating. I was able to get through my own issues by journalling and looking inward, taking apart the problem and executing the necessary actions for well-being. Once the factors that were limiting my success and happiness, i.e. abusive parents and caretakers were removed I came out of depression and don't understand why they can't do the same.
When I see a homeless person on the street, I assume they probably got there through bad decisions and weak will too.
It's true, I probably am cold-hearted. But I do feel bad about this. If anyone else has any other suggestions for being less of a prick let me know.
Because your depression was from situations and situations that can be changed. A chemical imbalance can only be worked through by therapy and medication and a good support group.
This guy has reached out for attention several times. Nothing is really wrong with him except for the lack of willpower. For the 18 years of my childhood I was beaten and had crazy, drugged-out parents and was in foster care...this guy grew up in a supportive middle-class family. He has friends, and a job. He's a pretty attractive guy and could find a quality girlfriend if he applied himself.
But he's depressed and suicidal.
He smokes cigarettes all day too, showing he is too weak to stop and doesn't care for his own well-being.
What I really feel like telling him is to stop being a pathetic wimp!
My mom too. She complains all day about her crappy life but she doesn't apply her efforts. She smokes and sits around eating brown sugar while watching TV. With determination she could have such a happier life, but instead she wallows, and then complains to the people around her.
People who are depressed without a clear reason have always irritated me a bit. As if they don't have the RIGHT to be. I try to give them advice but it's always shoddy because it's not really genuine.
Just wondering if anyone else feels that way. Am I just cold and heartless? What am I SUPPOSED to say when someone comes to me telling me they want to die (in my mind, just because they suck at life)?
This guy has reached out for attention several times. Nothing is really wrong with him except for the lack of willpower. For the 18 years of my childhood I was beaten and had crazy, drugged-out parents and was in foster care...this guy grew up in a supportive middle-class family. He has friends, and a job. He's a pretty attractive guy and could find a quality girlfriend if he applied himself.
But he's depressed and suicidal.
He smokes cigarettes all day too, showing he is too weak to stop and doesn't care for his own well-being.
What I really feel like telling him is to stop being a pathetic wimp!
My mom too. She complains all day about her crappy life but she doesn't apply her efforts. She smokes and sits around eating brown sugar while watching TV. With determination she could have such a happier life, but instead she wallows, and then complains to the people around her.
People who are depressed without a clear reason have always irritated me a bit. As if they don't have the RIGHT to be. I try to give them advice but it's always shoddy because it's not really genuine.
Just wondering if anyone else feels that way. Am I just cold and heartless? What am I SUPPOSED to say when someone comes to me telling me they want to die (in my mind, just because they suck at life)?
Just because he smokes cigarettes does not mean he is weak it means he likes to smoke and does not want to quit because you think he should.
If you want to tell them to quit being "pathetic wimps" then do so and quit spending time with people you cannot stand that make you miserable.
It doesn't matter if you are cold and heartless what you are "supposed" to say is not what you want to say and trust me, they will know you are being patronizing and telling them lies.
Perhaps they think YOU are the one that sucks at life simply because you cannot bring yourself to be honest with them and speak your mind, aye?
Once I took a personality test and I am ISTJ. They are known for a lack of empathy and being poor at picking up on emotional cues. Portrait of an ISTJ
But yeah, giving them ingenuine advice is a bad idea. I guess if I can't be sympathetic towards them it really means I don't respect and care about them enough to and might as well cut them out of my life. Which is a bit harder in the case of my mom, who blathers on about her crappy existence for an hour each time I bother to call.
Just because he smokes cigarettes does not mean he is weak it means he likes to smoke and does not want to quit because you think he should.
If you want to tell them to quit being "pathetic wimps" then do so and quit spending time with people you cannot stand that make you miserable.
It doesn't matter if you are cold and heartless what you are "supposed" to say is not what you want to say and trust me, they will know you are being patronizing and telling them lies.
Perhaps they think YOU are the one that sucks at life simply because you cannot bring yourself to be honest with them and speak your mind, aye?
They both smoke cigarettes knowing that they're killing them, disrespecting themselves and those they care about. It's like stabbing yourself from the inside
This guy has reached out for attention several times. Nothing is really wrong with him except for the lack of willpower. For the 18 years of my childhood I was beaten and had crazy, drugged-out parents and was in foster care...this guy grew up in a supportive middle-class family. He has friends, and a job. He's a pretty attractive guy and could find a quality girlfriend if he applied himself.
But he's depressed and suicidal.
He smokes cigarettes all day too, showing he is too weak to stop and doesn't care for his own well-being.
What I really feel like telling him is to stop being a pathetic wimp!
My mom too. She complains all day about her crappy life but she doesn't apply her efforts. She smokes and sits around eating brown sugar while watching TV. With determination she could have such a happier life, but instead she wallows, and then complains to the people around her.
People who are depressed without a clear reason have always irritated me a bit. As if they don't have the RIGHT to be. I try to give them advice but it's always shoddy because it's not really genuine.
Just wondering if anyone else feels that way. Am I just cold and heartless? What am I SUPPOSED to say when someone comes to me telling me they want to die (in my mind, just because they suck at life)?
Yes, you are cold and heartless. And judgemental. You have not walked in their shoes. You have no idea what struggles they hold within. Just because YOU haven't seen or heard of a crisis in their lives doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Some issues are private and not put out for the world to know (or judge).
Depression can be a predisposed biological factor. It's not something you can just 'snap' out of if the chemicals in your brain are not working correctly. And it doesn't mean anyone is stupid- there are many people who have done magnificent things who suffered from depression- Abraham Lincoln is just one of them.
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