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If you want to keep the job, just keep quiet and not say anything. Just avoid the discussion or look bored. But, if you confront them, and you're not ready to leave that job, they may make your life miserable.
Think of it as self-preservation. You can silently say a prayer for them, but keep your mouth shut.
If they actually ever ask your opinion, which is probably not going to happen because people like to hear themselves talk and rarely realize someone is not talking, just say something like, "Oh, I just don't know anything about that stuff..." or something equally benign.
You will not change their opinions. But, if you confront them, they can make your life miserable at that job. So, let it go, is my advice. Look bored or distracted, and ignore them and collect your checks.
I was in the exact situation in a hospital I worked in. I never out and out told the other RN's how I felt, but they kind of figured it out. From then on these "Christians" treated me like S__, convinced I was from the devil. The three of them would all go to lunch together and leave me alone on the unit, against hospital policy. They gave me the hardest patients, didn't talk to me, etc. etc.
Finally the "head RN" scheduled me to work Christmas after I had already worked Tgiving. So I immediately found another job and gave my 3 weeks notice. She was furious! I was ecstatic
So I wouldn't recommend saying anything. Good Luck!
You are at work where these subjects should really not be discussed at all. Living in a conservative area can be difficult for someone with differing views. However, I would just do my job, get along, keep my beliefs to myself, and discuss them on my off time with someone intelligent enough to discuss differing viewpoints. Do not let their opinions bother you, and remember that they have a right to their own. I really just don't know why they are discussing all this at work. I don't have time to have these types of conversations at work, even if I wanted to.
I know I can't change anyones opinion but I do want them to know that there are other opinions that are just as valid as theirs.
And I would do that by creating distance. I really don't think this is an issue about their opinions at all. Their bigger fault is that they're expressing extremely controversial views in an inappropriate place (work) among inappropriate people (mixed company). You need to be more angry about that. They are putting you in an uncomfortable position and they know it. Don't think for a second that they're oblivious that you might disagree with them. They know. And they're trying to bait you to see who's side you're on. What you can't do is get sucked into the spider's web.
By telling them you feel politics and religion are private matters then finding other people to have lunch with, you're sending a loud and clear message that their behavior is inappropriate. And you're also keeping the upper hand by not giving them ammunition to use against you.
And I would do that by creating distance. I really don't think this is an issue about their opinions at all. Their bigger fault is that they're expressing extremely controversial views in an inappropriate place (work) among inappropriate people (mixed company). You need to be more angry about that. They are putting you in an uncomfortable position and they know it. Don't think for a second that they're oblivious that you might disagree with them. They know. And they're trying to bait you to see who's side you're on. What you can't do is get sucked into the spider's web.
By telling them you feel politics and religion are private matters then finding other people to have lunch with, you're sending a loud and clear message that their behavior is inappropriate. And you're also keeping the upper hand by not giving them ammunition to use against you.
Thanks LoriBee.
We all works so closely together, 3 people in one small office. Usually the conversations are lame but then something will be in the news like bruce jenner getting a sex change or legalizing gay marriage and someone will say they read something and then tell their views. It all starts innocently. I think it's natural for people to talk about their feelings and I felt like it was rude not answering them, but I didn't want to agree with them, because I don't so I would say my views and then get these looks like I was crazy.
Probably the truth is that work is work, no matter how you slice it. Yeah, you will get close to people and maybe even be friends but still it's your job and how you make a living.
I think I just have to learn the fine line of being a good co-worker and being polite but not selling myself out. Saying something like "politics and religion are not a good subject for me" and leave it at that, will at least tell them that I won't play that game.
I may not be popular or get invited to stuff, but I have to be true to myself.
Good idea about what you plan to say re: politics/religion, OP. It's called picking your battles.
There are people whose opinions I strongly disagree with everywhere, it seems lol. I would be completely worn out (and probably bitter or discouraged) if I felt the need to debate about my differing viewpoint with even half of them. It's just not worth it. In the workplace, it can even endanger promotions or continued employment, so again it's simply not worth it. Just refuse to discuss these things with your coworkers, and sooner or later they'll get the message that they need to avoid such topics with you. Good luck.
Ugh that is a much tougher situation now that you've explained more. I thought these were people you were having lunch with and could otherwise avoid. I don't miss the days of "bullpen office work" where you don't have privacy to MYOB when people are having conversations. In an environment like that, I would have a very hard time keeping my mouth shut. I also can't think of a good solution. Your choice is to sit with your mouth shut and become more and more bitter because of it, or speak your mind and be the outcast of the hen house. I think that's the proverbial rock and a hard place. I'm sorry!
i always say what i feel but i also make an effort to respect the other side. "i understand why you might feel that way. that makes sense". usually arguments are based on differences in values and i can definitely understand how one person might value one thing differently than another.
also i try to remember that wrong and illegal are different.
agree to disagree is a fine skill to master. it will get you far
i always say what i feel but i also make an effort to respect the other side. "i understand why you might feel that way. that makes sense". usually arguments are based on differences in values and i can definitely understand how one person might value one thing differently than another.
also i try to remember that wrong and illegal are different.
agree to disagree is a fine skill to master. it will get you far
Idealistically I agree with you. Sometimes, however, the other person(s) are so vested in their own viewpoint that they become out and out bullies and impossible to work with. For example they believe your opinions came from the devil, as happened to me! It behoves one to evaluate the situation since many people are fanatics and incapable of "agreeing to disagree" unfortunately!
If these types of conversations are constantly coming up, I'd probably look for a new place to work. If it's just a once in a great while thing, I would just give a non-committal type answer like others have suggested, and then try to change the subject.
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