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It is well known that in business, politics and religion as topics of discussion are off-limits. Those rules seem to apply to social discussion as well. That sharply constrains topics of intelligent discussion to, perhaps, books and technology. Even the former can veer off into forbidden topics as well quite easily.
Thus, notwithsdanding some reservations, that leaves religious settings as good places for higher-level discussions. I fill this need, especially on Saturday mornings, with Torah study at my Reform congregation. Not very religious, but satisfying. And most Reform congregations actually welcome non-Jews to Torah study.
Christians also use the Old Testament and the Torah is simply the first five books. I recommend it, or similar resources of other religions.
Another good choice is book clubs, that many libraries or religious organizations sponsor.
Last edited by Miss Blue; 04-06-2015 at 07:00 AM..
Most businesses have well-defined goals where team cohesion and cooperation are key. Religion and politics are often highly divisive, and these topics wil divide people who can otherwise cooperate.
Most businesses have well-defined goals where team cohesion and cooperation are key. Religion and politics are often highly divisive, and these topics wil divide people who can otherwise cooperate.
Agreed. The purpose of this thread is to find viable options for intelligent conversation.
Last edited by Miss Blue; 04-06-2015 at 07:03 AM..
I recommend attending RCIA at your local Catholic church (Rites of Christian Initiation for Adults). This class is usually about nine months long (from September through to Easter). In most parishes, you do not have to interested in becoming Catholic, or even a Christian, to attend - and the conversations are very deeply theological and delve into just about every human topic imaginable.
I've had mixed results with book clubs and writers clubs. I was a member of one book club that was very dynamic, and then moved and went to another one and nearly every book on the list was "lightweight" which really doesn't appeal to me. Writers clubs are more interesting to me - more creative - but sometimes one or two members can be such a pain in the rear end that it's frustrating. But overall, I prefer a writers club. Now that I've moved, I need to reconnect with a group like that. There used to be one that met at Barnes and Noble once or twice a month - you may want to check out that venue.
You can find a volunteer organization that works with a cause you're passionate about, and I bet you find some individuals who share some common interests with you.
You can "amass a collection" of two or three couples who are good conversationalists - even if they don't know each other - and begin a monthly dinner get together, rotating out houses. I've never done this before but I have known couples who have, and who have really enjoyed this over the years.
I would stay away from couples when it comes to discussion groups. They tend to side with each other too much. I always hated to see a couple show up for my discussion group. A women would say something and she would get "that look" from her husband and then remain silent the rest of the night. You may also hear the dreaded "we think".
Try to find a group where no topic is out of bounds. For this you need people that are capable of arguing without emotion.
You will also want people from diverse backgrounds. Why would you want to discuss something with people that are just like you? An engineer, a cop, a doctor, a truck driver, and a stay at home mom from the religious right, would make for a decent group. Add a retired military officer, small businessman, and a recovering alcoholic and you would be in great shape.
Common interests would be the last thing you would want. You want a group where everyone would look at something in a different way from everybody else. Open minded people willing to listen and maybe change their views on a subject.
Here's a helpful primer of all the things that are off-limits in a casual conversation:
Religion
Politics
Now, here are items that are completely okay to discuss:
Music
Books
Hobbies
Sports
Family
Where you went to school
Favorite television shows/movies
Travel plans
School
Arts
Mutual acquaintances and how you know them (But not to gossip about them)
Aspirations
Weather
History
Local attractions such as restaurants and museums
Something interesting you read recently in a magazine
And the list goes on and on.
Here's the thing. Good conversation is really easy if you understand how it works. Just remember one thing: Be more interested in talking about the other person than yourself.
Mind you, question-and-answer is not a civilized form of conversation, but a few well-placed and open-ended questions will give that person an opportunity to talk about himself or herself a little. Then, having revealed enough about themselves, you can find common ground of things to discuss.
And if you remain more interested in learning about the other person than talking about yourself, you are now the most fascinating conversationalist that person has ever met.
It's incredibly easy. Too bad most people are too eager to talk about themselves to try it.
What's more disturbing to me is that there are topics which have been designated "off limits". The world would be a much pleasanter place if people could discuss differing viewpoints without denigrating and insulting those with whom they disagree. There would be far less angst and ultimately far less ignorance where (for instance) religion and politics are concerned if people would listen to an opposing viewpoint instead of impatiently jumping in to attack and tell the other person how utterly wrong and stupid they are.
What's more disturbing to me is that there are topics which have been designated "off limits". The world would be a much pleasanter place if people could discuss differing viewpoints without denigrating and insulting those with whom they disagree. There would be far less angst and ultimately far less ignorance where (for instance) religion and politics are concerned if people would listen to an opposing viewpoint instead of impatiently jumping in to attack and tell the other person how utterly wrong and stupid they are.
Well, it really depends on the people doing the conversing and the attitude they bring to the conversation.
Politics and Religion are both less matters for rational dissection and more matters of faith. People who hold to a political stance mostly lack a logical construct for their views, instead holding to a position that meets their pre-existing worldview and then cherry-picking the facts that support that view. I've found that very few liberals or conservatives can argue their viewpoint well, for they only read those publications that support their positions and disregard the rest.
The same, of course, is true of religious faith. All propositions brought to the table of discussion are unprovable, from the Bible beaters to the atheists. So, again, we have a pointless discussion.
As a result, when you bring politics and religion into the realm of conversation, you almost inevitably have a clash of emotionally-held positions, not constructs of rationality.
As a result, when you bring politics and religion into the realm of conversation, you almost inevitably have a clash of emotionally-held positions, not constructs of rationality.
There doesn't have to be a preset construct of rationality to have a polite discussion or a scholarly debate.
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