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Old 04-22-2015, 08:29 PM
 
Location: TN/NC
35,081 posts, read 31,313,313 times
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People are busy. Many folks are struggling to make ends meet, combine that with kids, families, bad commutes, and already full lives, many are booked.
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Old 04-22-2015, 10:30 PM
 
Location: Austin, TX
1,351 posts, read 1,598,774 times
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Yes, it gets harder to make and retain friends once people get past "collegiate" age. Many of them are busy with full-time jobs, establishing careers, growing businesses. The majority of adults aged 25 and older are in intimate relationships, and the majority of adults aged 30 and older are married and have kids. (Possibly excluding people in urban progressive areas like NYC, SF, DC and Chicago.) Sorry, but for most of them, their SO's and families are going to take priority over their friendships. I'll also add that most people already have solidly established social circles once they finish college, and thus making new friends is a low priority for them, aside from one or two they met at work. More EFFORT and INITIATIVE is needed to meet people you have in common once you're out of school...in school, you're surrounded by peers, so making at least a few friends is pretty much effortless for most kids and young adults. Post-school, your best chances of meeting new people are at work (that includes networking events relevant to your career), common-interest meetups, post-ed classes and so on.

To put it bluntly, many adults simply don't have much free time for friends. Adult responsibilities get in the way, and scheduling gets harder. It's not that they suddenly value their friends less...it's just not that easy to make substantial time for them. The days of just calling each other up and getting together a half-hour later to go play a game or something are over. Instead, most adults have a few drinking buddies, or golf associates, or fashion acquaintances. Aside from randomly running into a buddy at your favorite bar, most get-togethers are arranged well in advance...for example a Sunday NFL hangout at someone's house. For adults in relationships, there's also the BF/GF/spouse's feelings to consider...if the partner is uncomfortable with a particular friend of yours, then it's probable that you will at least distance yourself away from that friend, out of respect for your relationship.

It is also certainly true these days that more and more adults spend some of their free time on social media sites.

That said, while it's harder, it still should not be outright difficult to make friends, no matter what age you are. If it does seem difficult, then there may be something about you (or something you lack) that is making others wary of you.
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Old 04-22-2015, 11:11 PM
 
29 posts, read 35,938 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Emigrations View Post
People are busy. Many folks are struggling to make ends meet, combine that with kids, families, bad commutes, and already full lives, many are booked.
This. I really think that people being having very full schedules is the main reason.
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Old 04-25-2015, 04:20 AM
 
Location: Chicago, IL
8,851 posts, read 5,876,506 times
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I'm not sure that difficulties in making friends as adults all have to do with busy schedules. That's definitely part of it, but I think that as adults people's social circles are pretty set. If they are married and/or have kids, then their schedules will be busy and it may be hard for them to add on other "friends."

I always found it pretty easy to make friends, but when I moved to Chicago a few years ago, it was really difficult at first and it's amplified when you're in a big city. Luckily I had 3 pretty good friends here from college, but I had to really put myself out there to make friends. Because the friends I knew already had established social lives, I was a little hesitant to try and make plans with them. Eventually I just had to take initiative and ask if I could join them hanging out, and they were all really receptive and I have become much better friends with them. Once you have a good circle of friends in a larger city, it's a little easier to meet new people. Also I have found that hanging out with people from work, church, or other group where you see each other regularly is a good way to develop friendships. These friendships are definitely good if you moved to a new place a don't know many people yet.

As an adult it is definitely "harder" to make new friends. You really have to get outside of your comfort zone.
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Old 04-26-2015, 12:55 PM
 
93 posts, read 77,254 times
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Making friends is hard. Finding good ones is even harder. I think that it's difficult for people to step out of the "superficial acquaintance" stage of having friends. Once you pursue a deeper relationship with them, it starts to require more energy and may open up more issues between you and a friend.
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