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It is called maturity. This gal doesn't seem like true friend material....I think you are doing the right thing. The fact that she hasn't noticed that you are not contacting her seems to show that she is very self centered.
I think some people need someone to pick on and demean to make themselves feel better....I think you were that to her, from what you've written about her behaviors and comments towards you. We often cannot see this, until we get some physical and emotional distance...Then, like you've described...it becomes clear.
Consider your personal growth a good thing...And next time you'll recognize a real friend because of this experience with her.
Good luck on your new life.
Update: She texted me last night and I happily deleted her message. She was asking how I was doing. To be honest, I am doing great, but do not feel like sharing it with her. For all the people that thought I would cave and crawl back to her...didn't happen.
Update: She texted me last night and I happily deleted her message. She was asking how I was doing. To be honest, I am doing great, but do not feel like sharing it with her. For all the people that thought I would cave and crawl back to her...didn't happen.
Dropping a toxic friend is always good. And from your description she looks very toxic, so ignoring maybe the best thing for you. Asking to return 5 bux is extremely petty btw.
I think everyone has had friends like this. At first, they can be funny and nice but then it wears off and they start tearing you down. The problem is with her and not you. You are doing the right thing by tapering things off.
Just move on with your life and find new friendships.
Coward! If you were worth having as a friend you would have sat her down and told her why the friendship should end.
I think you may be joking.
I was a good friend to her and never treated her the way she treated me. Some people aren't worth an explanation. I finally grew tired of being insulted and decided to stop being her punching bag.
Do you want to know why it is bothering you so much about whether or not you should have let her know before you dropped her? Or why you had a hard time about deleting her from your FB? It is because you are a nice person and you do not want to have done/do anything which may result in her getting hurt feelings. She is not like you because it sounds like she has gone out of her way to say things which have hurt you.
I don't think you should feel bad for not letting her know. I posted about a "friend" I recently had which sounds so much like her. I think they seek out people like us because they know we are nice and will put up with their putdowns of us and try to control us when they cannot control much of anything in their own lives. Mine didn't shut up about her many problems and when I tried to talk, she wasn't interested. The one I know has been through man after man and the comments your friend made are almost identical to the one mine made.
Keep it in mind...."I actually realized that she isn't so great of a friend and I can do better on my own." No guilt now, ok?
Do you want to know why it is bothering you so much about whether or not you should have let her know before you dropped her? Or why you had a hard time about deleting her from your FB? It is because you are a nice person and you do not want to have done/do anything which may result in her getting hurt feelings. She is not like you because it sounds like she has gone out of her way to say things which have hurt you.
I don't think you should feel bad for not letting her know. I posted about a "friend" I recently had which sounds so much like her. I think they seek out people like us because they know we are nice and will put up with their putdowns of us and try to control us when they cannot control much of anything in their own lives. Mine didn't shut up about her many problems and when I tried to talk, she wasn't interested. The one I know has been through man after man and the comments your friend made are almost identical to the one mine made.
Keep it in mind...."I actually realized that she isn't so great of a friend and I can do better on my own." No guilt now, ok?
You are right. I think I am by nature kind and caring, but also when I am done, I am really done. I try my best to treat others in the way I wish to be treated. She sent another text last night asking if I was ok, and I thought for a second: "maybe I should respond in the event she is worried about me?" And for a moment thought I may be inconsiderate for ignoring her. I then came to my senses and I just deleted her texts again and told myself this is for the best and I am done with being a punching bag. I don't think she deserves a response and she will soon get the hint.
Now there is the most difficult part - letting go.
It does make it a bit tougher especially if someone is reaching out and asking you if you are ok, because they haven't heard from you.
But I am sticking to my guns because I know it is the best thing to do.
I remember for her birthday once I ordered flowers for her in her favorite colors and had them sent to her office. They were actually sort of expensive and I did not have alot of money, but wanted to show her that I appreciated her friendship.
She was nice for a couple days after that, but then then she said something really mean to me, and I recall feeling hurt. After that, I vowed to not do anything like that again for someone.
But I again want to thank everyone that took the time to chime in on this thread. Your opinions and thoughts actually gave me a perspective I don't think I considered previously.
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