Would you kick an unemployed relative out of your house? (member, relatives)
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If my sister or causin or nephew/niece or who ever would need a place to be and s/he would be nice with manners and respectful and alcohol and drug-free, my home would be open - always and forver if that it what it takes.
That is why relatives and families are for, to take care of each others.
I would offer therapy, future planning, crammer courses etc. to get him or her to build strong self and learn to be on his or her own. This also includes my husbands family, not just my own.
google "guest that won't leave" for information on how to proceed, very helpful
you are doing her a favor; you will be amazed how resourceful and capable a person becomes when handed the list of homeless shelters and soup kitchens with free meals in your area
best of luck; my eldest son is going through this same thing right now, he has given the "friend" the 30 days ultimatum and will proceed with eviction if needed, he is familiar with it because he was a property manager previously. the "friend" agreed to stay no more than a month while "getting a job and getting my own place" and it is now 4 months and the person has one excuse after another why this job or that job is not good enough; bottom line they are freeloading, and need to go
If my sister or causin or nephew/niece or who ever would need a place to be and s/he would be nice with manners and respectful and alcohol and drug-free, my home would be open - always and forver if that it what it takes.
That is why relatives and families are for, to take care of each others.
I would offer therapy, future planning, crammer courses etc. to get him or her to build strong self and learn to be on his or her own. This also includes my husbands family, not just my own.
And, in a fantasy world, your plan would totally work. In reality, people who are not motivated wouldn't take advantage of any of the resources offered to them.
FWIW, according to one of the major advice columnists, your place can be considered the residence of anyone you allow to even spend one night on your sofa if they decide to be a "jerk" about it (meaning that they can force you into going through the whole eviction process if they decide they want to stay). For that reason, I have never allowed anyone to spend the night at my home unless I know they have a home or apartment of their own in their own name to go back to.
I do think, though, that it is a very sad world we live in when people are afraid to show compassion because of what else they might be letting themselves in for.
That is why relatives and families are for, to take care of each others.
I would offer therapy, future planning, crammer courses etc. to get him or her to build strong self and learn to be on his or her own.
helping is great, but it only works if the person is also willing to make an effort; a person who is a freeloader has a loooooong list of excuses and always blames others
otherwise it is simply enabling and encouraging unhealthy behavior, it makes the person worse off, instead of better
And, in a fantasy world, your plan would totally work. In reality, people who are not motivated wouldn't take advantage of any of the resources offered to them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tzaphkiel
helping is great, but it only works if the person is also willing to make an effort; a person who is a freeloader has a loooooong list of excuses and always blames others
otherwise it is simply enabling and encouraging unhealthy behavior, it makes the person worse off, instead of better
I come from backround which took care of the old people and rescued neighbours kids That is the reality where I grew up. I will continue sharing the good forward. We can all choose our lifestyle and values and I told mine. And as I said my rules are listed.
Because she has made no real effort to find a job and freeloaded on my parents and other relatives without paying a dime or helping around the house, I suspect that she will not be the model relative in the future you want to help.
Quote:
Originally Posted by soUlwounD
No.
If my sister or causin or nephew/niece or who ever would need a place to be and s/he would be nice with manners and respectful and alcohol and drug-free, my home would be open - always and forver if that it what it takes.
That is why relatives and families are for, to take care of each others.
I would offer therapy, future planning, crammer courses etc. to get him or her to build strong self and learn to be on his or her own. This also includes my husbands family, not just my own.
I come from backround which took care of the old people and rescued neighbours kids That is the reality where I grew up. I will continue sharing the good forward. We can all choose our lifestyle and values and I told mine. And as I said my rules are listed.
Nice ideals, but not workable in many situations. I would be happy to give someone a temporary home as they found a job and got back on their feet. I would not allow someone to move in and stay forever just so they could avoid a job. Help can quickly change to enabling with some people.
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In reality, people who are not motivated wouldn't take advantage of any of the resources offered to them.
That is the reality where I grew up. I will continue sharing the good forward. We can all choose our lifestyle and values and I told mine. And as I said my rules are listed.
