Friend wants to go clubbing for her 40th bday? (grandmother, house, appropriate)
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You do not have to interfere with her doing what she thinks will make her happy.
You are mature enough to realize that you are simply a person who does not go to clubs. A lot of us don't -- for a whole gamut of valid reasons. Some of us do not go to places where alcohol is served for reasons of health, or of religion. Others may find the atmosphere of flirtation and imprudent behaviour inappropriate to participate in.
These are all solid, time-honored, and valid issues of personal integrity!
Do not betray your core values.
You can wish her a happy birthday, and simply state "Thank you, I hope you have a wonderful party, but I do not go to clubs."
Period.
If she or other friends pressure you, repeat the above line as needed. Over and over. Without elaboration.
And without apology.
The "worst" that could happen is they'll start rumors that you are a recovering alcoholic. Or a prude. OR a sensible, self-respecting mature woman.
Stand your ground. Do not waver. Let her be. Preserve and honor your own integrity. And be at peace with it in your heart.
You said just what I was thinking, but said it better than I could have.
I don't go to nightclubs, and honestly I don't see the appeal at all. If I were guilted into going to one, I would be miserable, and I'm sure my negative attitude would interfere with the birthday celebrant's good time. For her own sake and for the sake of her friend, I hope the OP wishes her friend well but stays home that night.
I just can't go to a club and I find it strange how overweight and/or unattractive older women or any woman 40 and older would want to go clubbing in the city with a bunch or 20 somethings? I just don't think I can handle it. Too many insecurities and I can't handle the crowd. Don't know what I'm going to do. I don't get how others don't feel the same way. 40 is too old to be clubbing. It's ridiculous to want to go dancing at a meat market club at that age.
You don't have to "get" it, and you don't have to like it. You and your insecurities should stay home. Those who aren't insecure and want to go dance their a$$es off and have fun will go and enjoy themselves.
Offer to take your friend out to dinner on a different night.
If you are not comfortable going, than don't go. If she is a good friend, she will understand that is just not "your scene". The only time I enjoyed myself at places like that is when I was drunk and my age and being old enough to be the mom to most of the people in there didn't bother me a bit when I had enough booze in me. I cringe when I think how ridiculous I must have looked dancing and boozing it up in front of those people.
Why not fix a special meal or take your friend out somewhere just the two of you to celebrate her birthday?
News flash, it's your friend's birthday not yours. She wants to do what she wants to do! Nothing wrong with it. We are headed for a girls weekend and all of us 40 + will be clubbing with the 20 somethings. It's fun to let your hair down and dance every once in awhile. If you don't want to go, don't!
I just can't go to a club and I find it strange how overweight and/or unattractive older women or any woman 40 and older would want to go clubbing in the city with a bunch or 20 somethings? I just don't think I can handle it. Too many insecurities and I can't handle the crowd. Don't know what I'm going to do. I don't get how others don't feel the same way. 40 is too old to be clubbing. It's ridiculous to want to go dancing at a meat market club at that age.
Um, no. My wife is 51, and I'm 38. We go clubbing sometimes for a night out on the town. I think the problem is you're acting like a stick in the mud. Why don't you be more open minded to the idea of having a good time and getting out of the house for a while?
I know my husband won't go so they will just think I'm not going be because he isn't. I don't get how people have fun in a crowd where you can't talk or move.
I just can't go to a club and I find it strange how overweight and/or unattractive older women or any woman 40 and older would want to go clubbing in the city with a bunch or 20 somethings? I just don't think I can handle it. Too many insecurities and I can't handle the crowd. Don't know what I'm going to do. I don't get how others don't feel the same way. 40 is too old to be clubbing. It's ridiculous to want to go dancing at a meat market club at that age.
Who is overweight and unattractive? If it is your friend this is a very shallow statement. If it is you ... It is her birthday and the days of 40 being the end of life for women are over! Say no thank you, stay home and do not rain on her parade.
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