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I've been friends with many attractive women...I don't care about their looks. I think I would have to be deeply insecure to rule out being friends with a woman prettier than me just because men liked her. I felt that way when I was single as well.
This sums it up. Many of my friends are "hot." Doesn't matter we are friends because we like each other and have stuff in common.
What is dumb though (and this happened in college), guys who want to hook up with my friend who try to be my friend first, then are like "hey, what about your friend." Not a friendship rooted in anything real. Luckily, these circumstances are no longer probable.
I have pretty friends and plain friends, it makes no difference to me.
I did have one friend who was sure that since she was thin and I was not, my husband must think she was much more attractive than me. It became an issue because she was always sure that he was looking at her and secretly checking her out. He wasn't at all attracted to her, but her insistence that he was attracted to her made continuing the friendship uncomfortable, and we lost track of her years ago.
Friendships are very important to me. I adore my friends, even ones I don't talk to as often as I'd like. Friendships are too precious to allow such petty things to matter in the slightest. I mean, it sounds pretty extreme to pass a potential friend over because they're beautiful, but I'm sure it happens.
Op, have you chimed in with your own thoughts? Perhaps I missed it.
Friendships are very important to me. I adore my friends, even ones I don't talk to as often as I'd like. Friendships are too precious to allow such petty things to matter in the slightest. I mean, it sounds pretty extreme to pass a potential friend over because they're beautiful, but I'm sure it happens.
Op, have you chimed in with your own thoughts? Perhaps I missed it.
No, I was actually referring to myself. I've read posts from other women here who say they have a hard time making female friends, I can relate.
When I was a little girl I only wanted to be friends with pretty girls-so all my friends were pretty up until middle school. In middle school I started going to mostly white schools and the population of black girls were very low. None of the white boys in middle school were checking for black girls and it was that way for me in high school as well... I had white friend's that were hot to white boys but I didn't feel invisible because I wasn't attracted to the guys that liked these girls and vice versus. By junior year the black population had increased and there were quite a few attractive black girls but while they maintained interest in trying to establish a friendship, they also were catty and I wasn't interested. It had nothing to do with looks. In college-same thing mostly white school, friends with hot while girls and the boys that found them attractive I did not really care for so it did not bother me.
That being said I did make friends with other black girls in hs and college that were either at my level of attraction or slightly below. So when we went out, depending on the guys there were times where one of us got more attention than the other. Then a strange thing started to happen when I was 17 and up until I was 22 where I got the most attention whenever we went out. A friend of mine let me meet guys she would date and they would try to get with me behind her back so she stopped letting me meet the guys she dated and even started acting funny around me.
There are times when I go out and I do feel this animosity from other black women-especially if they are out with their bfs. They just either keep staring at me or they mean mug me, or just act funny period. I noticed it especially at a couple of jobs I had where there were men that liked me and helped me a lot, and the girls would all hang out and always leave me out. Later one of my guy friends told me they were jealous.
Other than those experiences I honestly don't think I've ever had a friend hotter than me and it's not because I wouldn't want one it's because I haven't met one. I'm at an age where I don't see myself being that insecure that I would not want to be friends with someone just because they were more attractive. But then again I have never been in that position so it's hard to say.
No one wants to be constantly in another persons shadow though.
I could accept it as long as they're not conceited. I had a friend like this once. I remember thinking back in the day how pretty she was, not just in our little old hometown, but that she'd be considered gorgeous anywhere in the world.
And she still is, even after 4 kids (which you could never tell she's had any). She looks a good 13 years younger than she is, at least. She's since moved to a much bigger city and one of the last times I was around her, someone got into a car accident looking at her as we walked down the street. It's like that everywhere she goes; I honestly can't think of anyone more beautiful than her celebrity-wise or in real life (no homo). She's just been physically blessed with pretty much near perfect features all around.
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