Why are you smiling? (grandmother, business, person, brother)
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I too have the opposite problem. I'm not unhappy, I just only smile when I'm really happy. I have people approach me every now and then and look into my eyes and say "Smile, everything is going to be alright!" They think they are backing me off a ledge or something when in reality, I'm just not a smiley person.
Just because one smiles all the time, doesn't mean they can't adapt their demeanor to the various circumstances that may arise. I know how to confront individuals in a diplomatic manner without smiling. When sad or irritating events take place, it makes sense that I don't smile.
Of course, when I say "all the time", I don't mean it in a literal way.
Don't let people tell you that having a smile on your face and being cheerful when around other people at work or during the course of the day is wrong, they've never seen the ugliness of dead bodies looking back at them because if they did they have completely different attitude towards life in general and wouldn't care about a fk'in smile. Enjoy being alive and well, things change fast.
More important things to worry about then a women who likes being cheerful, good for you Philly.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,699 posts, read 41,737,988 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr_Geek
I too have the opposite problem. I'm not unhappy, I just only smile when I'm really happy. I have people approach me every now and then and look into my eyes and say "Smile, everything is going to be alright!" They think they are backing me off a ledge or something when in reality, I'm just not a smiley person.
I personally get more p$&@ed off when people tell me to smile. I look right at them, mean as , like how dare you try to tell me how to express my emotions?! It is really none of their damn business how I'm feeling or if I smile.
Living in this country and all its BS I'm super suspicious of anyone who has happy all the time. What the hell in this country is there to smile about 24/7?
Aww, don't sweat the small stuff....and it's all small stuff in the big picture. Find joy in life!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pennies4Penny
I have the opposite problem in that I apparently don't smile enough and people are always telling me to smile. Not so much anymore, but a lot during my early 20s. I used to smile, but now I ignore them. It's my face, I can do what I want with it .
I suggest just ignoring them as well or come up with a standard answer, "because I like to," or "why not?" or you can be give some crazy answer that will make them regret asking .
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr_Geek
I too have the opposite problem. I'm not unhappy, I just only smile when I'm really happy. I have people approach me every now and then and look into my eyes and say "Smile, everything is going to be alright!" They think they are backing me off a ledge or something when in reality, I'm just not a smiley person.
There is a term for this...Google it..."****** Resting Face" (BRF for short).
I tend to be a person who smiles at others, as well. Especially children. I don't particularly love hanging out with children... I'm not one of those, "Oooh, a BABY!" people. But I think children must encounter a LOT of really grumpy faces in the world. And I can't help but think that it affects their little psyches negatively. So I smile and wave at them in grocery stores and other places.
I think that you can sometimes pull yourself out of a cruddy funk of a mood by smiling. People tend to be more friendly toward a smiling face than a "harumphy" one. It can kind of set the tone for your day.
When I visited South Beach, Miami, I was my "usual self," and smiled at people. My friend told me that I should stop smiling because people would think I was mentally challenged!
I think people in general need to focus less on what others are or aren't doing and focus more on their own behavior and attitudes. And quit projecting their own emotions on to others!
I don't smile all the time, but I am pretty much in a perpetually positive mood. I just am. I don't take credit for it, I don't try to fight it, it just is what it is.
Once a friend of my mother's said, "Well, she's fun to be around when she's up, but I bet she crashes when she's down," (talking about me) to which my mother answered honestly, "I've never seen her down."
That's not to say that I don't feel negative emotions sometimes, because I do. I've been heartbroken, I've been worried, I've been disenchanted, I've felt betrayed or irritated or angry. But those emotions just don't last very long with me - and they are almost immediately followed by a thought process that goes something like this: "I don't like this feeling. What can I do to fix this problem so I don't continue to feel this way?" Then I do something positive about it. Usually within a few minutes.
So yeah - basically throughout every minute of every day, I'm in a good mood. Even when I've had surgery and felt bad physically, I am very circumspect about it and do what I can to alleviate negative feelings. Thankfully I've never felt the need to resort to drugs or excessive alcohol - well, I can't honestly say I've never had a few drinks to blow off some steam but I've never had a substance abuse problem. It's just not worth it to me.
I'm pretty in touch with my emotions and therefore can sort through them and be proactive easily. Like the OP, I've been accused of being "Pollyanna" or flippant or unusually courageous or unrealistic or whatever - but I don't care. I enjoy being in a good, positive, productive mood and besides that, I think I'm hardwired that way.
If people don't like it, I'm sorry. It's not my intention to irritate them. That's why I don't work in the funeral home or healthcare industry - I guess I don't have a lot of empathy or patience with negative people or situations. I've been told before that I'm good but not sweet, if that makes sense.
So see, it's not necessarily a good thing. It CAN be but it's not always. Don't expect me to cater to self pity or a sense of helplessness because I'm not cut out for it. But if you want solutions, energy, and a positive mindset, I'm your girl.
Location: The edge of the world and all of Western civilization
984 posts, read 1,191,900 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gfab1
Fun fact: one of French people's biggest gripes about Americans is that they perceive us as odd and goofy for often smiling for no reason and acting overly familiar to strangers. That is one reason, according to them, that they are often accused of "hating Americans," although most French (even Parisians) will assert that they don't hate us, they just think it's stupid to go around being all smiley and chatty to total strangers.
As for me, I'm pretty serious and often preoccupied with somber thoughts. Although I don't mind being smiled at (and I will usually smile back) I would think someone was an idiot, or maybe on drugs, if they walked around smiling all the time. *shrug*
It's not just the French. My dad and grandmother moved here from Austria and they have more or less the same approach to chronic smiling and superficial friendliness as the French. Grandma had expat friends from Austria and Germany, and it was the same with them: they felt it to be insincere. While part of me thought it was generational, when I lived in Germany several years ago I noticed it's just cultural. When I lived in Asia, they said someone smiling for no reason looks insane and suspicious.
Because I had that Austrian influence all my life, I don't smile unless there's a reason to (pretty much only if I find something funny), and my brother is more or less the same. It makes me come off as cold, aloof, unfriendly, unhappy or whatever people want to think. So, I have the opposite problem of the OP, and people comment that I look unapproachable, defensive, sad, would look nicer if I smiled, etc. I usually respond with an eye roll and go about my business.
Yeah, dvxhd, people sometimes ask me what's wrong or tell me to smile, which gets on my nerves. I guess I have BRF since this has occurred repeatedly over the years, even though I've never been angry or upset when people have made these comments.
I also find it strange and kind of suspicious when someone smiles all the time for no reason. And yes, it does seem insincere as well. To me, smiles should be meaningful and if someone goes around everywhere all the time with a pasted-on grin it lessens the impact of a genuine happy/friendly smile.
Living in this country and all its BS I'm super suspicious of anyone who has happy all the time. What the hell in this country is there to smile about 24/7?
I may not smile ALL the time, but I'm happy 99% of the time. You could say it's because I'm in America and my America is great.
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, like how dare you try to tell me how to express my emotions?! It is really none of their damn business how I'm feeling or if I smile.
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