Having issues with an inconsiderate upstairs neighbor who is overweight! (member, attractive)
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when i first moved in everything seemed fine expect he fact he would do (to me) weird things like when he came in from work he would ring my doorbell like to pretend he was an outsider, then let himself in and knock on my flat door.
he would knock about 10 times before going away and i heard him say before "for **** sake"
when i found out what he wanted it wasnt anything important, i actually came to realise it was just him eager to find out information about me.
I had a very brief convo with him when i was just letting him know who i am what i do ect and i did mention there is no soundproofing in here but didnt go into detail,i was hoping he would take the hint tbh.
its rare i see him but when i did i said hello, i pick up his letters and put them on the table.
as time past i felt like he was stomping on purpose, dropping things on purpose ect, it sounded very excessive. I hadnt done anything to him so i thought maybe its in my head. I hadnt seen him either, i do rarely see him.
One time someone rang my doorbell. he came downstairs so we were both in the communal area, i said hello to him and he ignored me and he weirdly stood behind me when i was signing for my parcel.
I actually realized he was telling his guest to use my doorbell as his didnt work. So i changed my doorbell to one i can control from a plug and that wasnt so loud.
he does still use my doorbell so i just unplug if im not expecting anyone.
he is a stomper, slams doors, He walks around in shoes and runs up the stairs,
i decided i cannot take it anymore and i made a complaint to the landlord, my god though when he received that letter he came banging down my door, he knocked and rang my doorbell about 20 times.
I didnt answer the door as it actually woke me up, it was 7pm but im pregnant.
and he sounded really aggressive. He honestly sounded like a debt collector or police trying to get into my apatment. My own family dont knock on my door like that.
the next day i complained to the landlord who spoke to him and he just wanted to know what my issue is. I said to them well he knows the issue as its in the letter and either way he has no right to be banging down my door like that, i could of been doing anything.
he was quiet from around two days but he has started up again, he randomly started banging on the floor about 10 times in a row the other day.
the landlord is investigating it and also because i suspect he may have laminate flooring. They asked me to have a chat with him but i feel scared now.
Im 21 yrs old and he is around 50 yrs
I know i probably should have spoken to him first but i have done this in the past about a neighbors music and i was abused, in fact this is why i moved to this place and complaining about music is more validated then walking. I have a history of DV and social anxiety.
he also said to the manager about he has been here 10years so i feel he has this self entitlement attitude, i also feel like this because of the fact he thinks its ok for his guest to use my doorbell because he cannot be bothered to get his fixed.
bare in mind this apartment was a vacant shop that went out of business years ago
maybe im just wrong? how would you deal with this?
You have to put up with it, or leave. He isn't going to stop being a jerk for anyone..
-Speaking from experience, I'm older than you and have lived in a lot of different apartments/condos during my life. You're lucky to get good neighbors if you do; it isn't always the case! Have had some shatty ones in my time too..
A part of living in the city or a community setting (instead of say, in a private home in the country) is dealing with neighbors who surround you. Thats why a lot of people want to own their own home/land. Some neighbors smoke or have stinky smells coming from their apartment. There will be noises, music, cars coming/going, etc.. just a fact of apartment living.
Learn to tune him out/ignore him or move. That's about all you can do.
And lesson learned.. next time you get an apartment, check out who's going to be living next to you before you sign a lease. Extremely important.
I've never seen an apartment building where the stores (vacant or otherwise) were on the second floor and the tenants lived below them . . . unless you have a basement apartment.
In any case, you've reported it to the landlord, as you should. Keep all copies of any correspondence involved in this case. If the neighbor's misbehavior escalates, report him again. If that doesn't work, you may need to go to the police. It kind of sounds to me like your neighbor is socially awkward; he may find you attractive but unattainable, and may be acting out against you because of this. I would be cautious around him, and move out when you can.
My husband's and my first apartment was on the first floor of a 4 story building. Even though the by laws stated that a certain percentage of the floor must be carpeted, the people above us did not follow the rules. They would stomp on the wooden floor, making noise at all hours of the day and night. I'd turn my music up to 10 to drown them out, and they'd stomp even louder. They left us nasty notes frequently, it was not a good relationship to say the least. We stayed there for two years, until we'd saved enough money to buy our first home. I learned from the experience (and have passed on to family members) to never live in an apartment with someone above you.
Good luck OP, I hope the next 4 months pass quickly.
Yeah I was a little perplexed with the overweight thing.
What's so perplexing? If you had to chose between having an upstairs neighbor who was a tiny woman who weighed 100 pounds, vs a big tub of lard who weighed over 300 pounds, going with the idea that the tiny woman isn't a tap dancer, whom do you think you're going to hear more when they move around? More than likely the fat one.
There are people who regardless of weight can be "hard walkers", but weight most definitely comes into play when someone is walking over your head.
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